They looked confused. “Check back with you?” Finnvid asked.
“We must stay with you,” Eirik said, shaking his head. “We have given our oath to Freya to aid you.”
Panic hit me hard and hot. “You can’t stay with me! I only have this little apartment, and I share it with another woman! There’s no room for you here, not to mention the distraction you’d be!”
“We are not leaving you until we have banished Loki,” Eirik said with a firmness that made my stomach clench up. The other two Vikings nodded.
“But what am I going to tell Geoff—”
As if her name was an invocation, the door opened and Geoff walked in, freezing when she took in the sight of three large men in Viking wear. “Uh . . .”
“Oh, bullfrogs!” I swore, plopping down onto my bed as I dropped my head onto my hands.
Chapter 3
“Your bondage group really gets into their personas,” Geoff marveled as I wondered what I could do to escape the hell my life had suddenly become. “Wow. Those are some inventive outfits. Kind of like Ren Faire meets Mistress Sadista. Most of the bondage ensembles I’ve seen have just consisted of a hood and banana hammock, and maybe some chest restraints. But your group is really . . . interesting. I really like the weapons.”
“Bondage!” Eirik said in an outraged tone. “We are not slaves! We are the masters of slaves!”
Geoff sidled over to me and said in a whisper, “Seriously, three tops to one bottom? You don’t want to go there.”
“That’s not what she means,” I told Eirik before turning back to Geoff with a speculative glance. “How much money would it take for you to leave for two weeks? ”
“Leave? Here?” Rather than looking angry, she looked intrigued. “Why? Oh my god, you’re going to have some sort of bondage group orgy, aren’t you?”
“No orgy!” I said quickly, frowning as Finnvid’s expression turned hopeful. “And they’re not part of my bondage group.”
“We will be happy to have an orgy if you wish, goddess,” Eirik offered.
“If they’re not part of your bondage group, then who are they?” Geoff asked, and I had to admit that was a reasonable question.
“We are Vikings, sons of Valhalla, and we have come to help the goddess Fran banish the trickster Loki to the Akasha,” Eirik answered before I could think of an answer.
“Ah. Actors,” she said, enlightenment dawning in her eyes as she nodded. She peeled off the other T-shirt she wore and grabbed a bath towel. “I didn’t know you were doing the drama thing this semester, but knock yourselves out. I’m going to take a shower.”
I waited until the door closed before turning on the three Viking ghosts. “You guys cannot stay here.”
Finnvid and Eirik had been whispering together while Isleif raided the now mostly empty refrigerator.
“Ah, so that is the bondage,” Eirik said after Finnvid stopped talking. Both men looked at me with raised eyebrows. “I have heard of women who enjoy rough bed sport. I had no idea you did.”
“I don’t. I don’t like any bed sport, rough or otherwise.”
Their eyes grew round. “You are celibate?”
“No! That is, Ben and I never . . . Oh, it doesn’t matter. I like bed sport well enough, but don’t have anyone to do it with, okay?”
Isleif returned with a piece of celery, which he dipped into the remaining package of yogurt, crunching loudly as he asked, “The goddess seeks bed-sport advice now?”
“No! For the love of the goddess above, no more advice, please.” I took a deep breath. “Look, I know you guys mean well, and I appreciate that. I really do. But the whole subject of my nonexistent intimate relations with Ben is no longer open to discussion.”
“Nonexistent . . .” Surprise danced on Eirik’s face. “The Dark One has not bedded you?”
The two other Vikings stared at me as if I was the eighth wonder of the world.
“No, he hasn’t, not that it’s anyone’s business,” I said meaningfully.
“Perhaps he is unsure of how to proceed,” Isleif commented around a mouthful of celery. “It is the Dark One who needs our advice.”
I wanted to beat my head on the wall, but knew that would only leave me with a headache. “Okay, new rules: no more discussion of bedding, bed sport, or anything related to that.”
“You are a virgin,” Finnvid said in a soothing voice, taking me by the shoulders and leading me over to the bed, where he sat down next to me. “You do not know what you are saying.”