“Just something intimate here at the house. I’d like you to be here.”
“Of course, Mom. I want to come. It’ll be nice to see my friends, too. Maybe I’ll stay for a week.”
“Wonderful. Perhaps you can meet with Rob and make some decisions.” A cool silence hangs between us.
“Perhaps.” It’s not a bad idea. By then we’ll have spent four months apart. Despite my growing realization we couldn’t share a happy marriage, I should discuss it with him face-to-face. Maybe seeing him again will settle the matter for good.
“Your father will be pleased. Shall I make reservations at Bliss Spa or the theater or whatnot? You must be missing some of your usual activities.”
Actually, I haven’t missed those things much, but I don’t mention it to Mom. She’s extending a peace offering, so I humor her to keep things pleasant. Old habits die hard.
“Sure, whatever you’d like to do is fine with me. Maybe Jill will join us.”
“Maybe.” She pauses before launching into less-pleasant territory. “So, what are you doing these days? I assume Levi’s needing you less and less as his recovery progresses.”
My insides bristle at the obnoxious tone she affects whenever mentioning Levi.
“Well, I’m traveling to Atlanta with him to confront his mother.” I can’t help myself from adding, “Looks like he’s taking your advice after all. That should make you happy.”
After a short pause, she launches into a lecture.
“Lindsey, where’s your mind? Stay out of his family situation. What’s it got to do with your issues or reasons for running off in the first place? You’re getting too involved with him.”
“I care about him, Mom. He’s taking a huge emotional risk and asked for my support.”
“He’s using you, Lindsey. Men like him don’t settle down and fall in love. Maybe you haven’t ended up in his bed yet, but you’re letting your imagination run wild if you believe he’ll become a man who can commit and be a real partner, like Rob.”
“God forbid Levi turns into Rob. Rob, a man so committed he cheated on me. News flash, Mom: Rob isn’t the only man on the planet. He looks great on paper, but he’s proven himself to be unreliable, untrustworthy, and unsafe.” I’m surprised by my conviction as the words fall from my mouth. Perhaps I’m more decided than I realized. “I’m not discussing this with you. I’m traveling to Atlanta, whether or not you agree.”
“I don’t recognize you at all, Lindsey.”
“That’s a shame because, for the first time in years, I’m finally rediscovering myself.” I smile at the truth of my statement.
Silence.
“Mom, I don’t want to be at odds. You’re taking matters personally that have little to do with you. I wish you’d chill out and let me spread my wings.”
“You say that as if I don’t want to see you happy. Why is my experience and advice suddenly so repugnant?”
“I respect your advice, Mom, but you need to respect my right to reject it on occasion.” I hear her sigh.
“I’ll see you in a few weeks. Levi’s not invited to stay here, Lindsey.”
“What a surprise!” I spit out. “Bye.”
I flop onto the sofa. Not even my mom can dampen my spirits today. Levi forgave me, basically, for my meddling. He’s taking me with him to meet his mother. He needs me and I’m happy.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Levi
My eyes open at four a.m., before the alarm rings. It’s no surprise, considering I barely slept. We’re booked on a seven o’clock flight to Atlanta, so I need to hustle. I should have taken a sleeping pill last night. Now my typically limited patience is sure to decrease due to the lack of rest.
Needless to say, I’ve been plagued with doubts for the past two days. The closer this trip got, the worse I felt. I seldom make uncalculated, impulsive decisions, and I’m still clueless about my goals.
I’ve no idea what to expect, or how I’ll feel, when I see Mama’s eyes. For the first time in my life, I’m walking to the table blind, deaf, and dumb. I swear, Lindsey’s turned me into an idiot.
Of course, she’s inexplicably happy about this trip. I’m still upset with her, but I’ve kept my mouth shut. She’s under the impression all’s been forgiven. I don’t dispel the notion because my anger’s subsiding anyway, and I need her to come with me.
She lacks the courage of her convictions in her own life, but she’s very strong when it comes to everything else. I’m counting on her to back me up if I stumble. And ultimately, I’m confronting my past so I might have a different kind of future, one that involves her. She should be with me when I do.