Whatever interest she has in me is probably linked to my face more than anything else. I know better than anyone how quickly physical attraction dies when it’s not paired with more.
If I could trade this face for a normal one in exchange for a healthier emotional life, for a chance to be inwardly lovable enough to keep a parent or a woman in my life, I might do it. But wishing won’t make it happen, so I’ll live as I always did until recently.
The taxi pulls into my driveway at six o’clock. I drop my luggage inside, return to the cab, and ask the driver to take me to Duke’s. I’m hungry and not quite ready to sit alone all night. Funny, being alone never bothered me before—I’d preferred it that way—but now it’s the last thing I want.
I glance at Lindsey’s house, wondering what she’s done all week. Has she missed me? Has she made any decisions about her life? I know I’ll bump into her soon, but right now I’m going out to be around other people.
After dinner, I sit at the bar and talk with Joe. The place closes early on Sundays, so business is slow. Joe’s breaking down the bar for the night.
“You look better than last time I saw you, Levi.” Joe pours me a tall, cold beer. “They ever find the driver?”
“No.” I play with my beer glass by twisting it around on the counter. “No trace of him. I spoke with the cops again this week, but they doubt they’ll find the driver without new evidence. Guess I’ll never get reimbursed for my medical bills or pain and suffering.”
“Probably some illegal alien—vanished into thin air.” Joe wipes down the back bar while we talk.
I nod, having not considered that particular scenario. Seems as likely as any other at this point, which means they wouldn’t even have any assets to pursue.
I can’t imagine hitting someone and leaving them to die, but I’ve experienced a lot of things in my life I wouldn’t have imagined.
At the end of her shift, Shari comes over and sits with me while Joe finishes cleaning the bar.
“Hey, Levi, honey. Where’s the new lady friend you brought here the other week?” She winks at Joe and then looks back at me.
“At home, I suspect.” I grab a final mouthful of peanuts and act blasé about Lindsey. “Not sure.”
“Huh. She seemed different from your usual ‘friends,’ but maybe I was wrong.” She raises her eyebrows to challenge me, but I just smile and tease her to shut her up.
“Shari, does Joe know you’re still interested in my love life? How do you feel about that, Joe?”
Shari laughs and Joe smirks. He’s cool with our past, mostly because he knows it never amounted to more than passing pleasure.
Shari slaps my shoulder. “Go ahead, change the subject. But you acted different with her. You admired her, too.”
Jesus. Now I’m an open book? “She’s a neighbor and a friend. She took care of me for most of my recovery when I needed a lot of help. I’m grateful to her.” I hide behind a swig of beer because I don’t want to talk about Lindsey. “Joe, can you call me a cab?”
“We’ll give you a ride home, no worries.” Joe looks at Shari to confirm and she nods in assent.
“Thanks. I’ll take that offer.”
When we arrive at my house, Joe asks to use the bathroom, so he and Shari come inside. Shari tours the first floor and deck while Joe’s indisposed.
“Shoot, Levi. If I’d have known where you lived, maybe I’d have prolonged our little fling.” She laughs as she opens the door and strides onto the deck.
“Oh yeah? If only I’d known,” I tease.
“You’re so lucky you can sit here listening to the ocean under the stars.” She sits on a chaise. “Joe and I have nothing special planned tonight. Want company or do you need to rest your back?”
“No, I’m feeling fine. I’ll grab some beer.”
I bring my Bose speakers, iPod, and three Harp ales outside, with Joe in tow. The three of us reminisce about past shenanigans at the bar for a while, then they both head inside to use the bathroom and get another drink.
I’m reclined on a lounge chair, gazing at the stars, when Lindsey runs up my back steps calling out my name. She arrives in her pajamas and steps toward me, her eyes full of relief. Then her hands find her hips and her expression turns irate.
“I saw your lights when I was going to bed. I couldn’t believe it. Where have you been?” She’s speaking quickly; her voice is strained as she sits beside me. “I didn’t call because you said you wanted some space, but after everything that’s happened this summer, I can’t believe you never once checked in with me. I almost didn’t come over because I’m so angry with you, but I needed to know you’re okay.”