Did she really just judge me?
“Actually, I do. I’ve been looking into some nonprofit organizations and am considering becoming an advocate for abused and neglected kids. If I get through the training and enjoy the work, maybe I’ll start my own little foundation one day with some of my trust fund money.”
A beat of stunned silence passes before Jill speaks. “What brought this on? I never knew you had such a social conscience.” She’s upset with me, but I’m not sure why. In any case, I refuse to succumb to her taunts.
“I guess I should credit Levi, and you. He told me to stop whining, figure out what makes me happy, and then follow my heart. As you’ve always lamented, I’m happiest when I’m helping people who can’t help themselves. So, I combined those ideas and am a little excited about the possibility of a totally new direction. I think it could even inspire me to write a book about the experience or the plight of so many children.” I’m smiling to myself, but Jill’s lack of support saps some of my enthusiasm. “Nothing is set in stone, but the idea of making a real difference in someone’s life is very tempting. Novel, even.”
“So, will you be doing this in California or New York?” Ah, now I understand her displeasure. She’d never admit it, but she misses me.
“I signed a six-month lease here back in May, but I guess it depends.”
“Depends on what?”
“On lots of things. I kind of like being away from home. My mom can’t pry or judge as easily with so much distance between us. The privacy lets me make my own decisions. Eventually I won’t need the crutch, but for now it works.”
“What about Rob?”
I groan at the memory of my last conversation with him. “Rob and I spoke earlier this week. It didn’t go well. Now that I’m away from him, I’m spotting other problems with our relationship.”
“Really? Like what—your hot neighbor?”
Jill’s retort is a little too close for comfort, but still, on the heels of her other sarcastic remarks, this one makes me pissed. Why should I have to defend my love life to her, or anyone?
“No, Jill. Maybe I don’t want to be a Goldman widow for the next ten or fifteen years. It could be lonely being married to someone you see only one or two hours on any given day. Also, despite what he says now, Rob wants me to be the supportive, doting wife. He’s always expected me to be available on his schedule. To make his priorities my priorities. I’m not sure that’s enough for me now—and if that’s true, Rob and I wouldn’t fit together in the long run.”
I pause to fix a tray with Levi’s lunch. “I don’t know; it’s hard to explain. I’m having second thoughts about everything. When I shared these concerns, he basically told me not to call him again unless I planned to come back. He also made it pretty clear he’s thinking of moving on. I hurt him. He hurt me. It’s not great.”
While on the phone, Jill overhears Levi thanking me for delivering his lunch.
“Who’s with you?” Her voice abruptly turns playful. “Is that Levi?”
“Yes, I’m fixing him lunch.”
“Guess you didn’t mention him to Rob, did you?” Her brash, sometimes intimidating manner prevents her from making a lot of female friends. I guess I’m able to tolerate it better than most because she reminds me of my mom. Both of them mean well, even when they’re obnoxiously overbearing.
“No. Why have him jump to mistaken conclusions?”
“ ‘Mistaken,’ huh? Yeah.” Jill lets her opinion hang suspended between us. The only thing keeping me from snapping back is two decades of her loyalty and friendship. Deep down—way deep down—I know she loves me.
“I want to see this guy who’s stealing you from us,” she demands. Before I can protest her ridiculous conclusion, she continues, “Take his picture and e-mail it to me right now.”
“No! How embarrassing. Besides, he’s eating lunch.”
My remark piques Levi’s interest, so he interrupts. “What’s embarrassing?”
Horrified, I roll my eyes. “My friend wants to see you, so she asked me to snap a photo and send it to her.”
His wicked smile suggests he’s amused by the idea. “Hand me the phone.”
He laughs at my stricken expression, but I comply.
“Hi, Jill. Before I send my picture, I need to know what I’m going to get in return.” Silence, but he’s smirking . . . like he’s having fun. “Okay, fair enough.” More silence is followed by a conspiratorial smile that spreads across Levi’s face. “Hope you’re not displeased, ma’am. Have a nice day.”