Although I’ve done nothing remarkable these past ten days, either, they’ve been eye-opening. I’ve been a good person throughout the years, but not a particularly introspective or engaged one. It’s disturbing to see myself as an empty shell instead of the modern, accomplished woman I thought I was. I suppose technically I’m accomplished, but now I’m aware of my lack of direction.
While taking care of Levi isn’t particularly noteworthy, I’ve enjoyed being useful and needed—so that’s something to consider.
“What’s the matter?” Levi’s voice catches me off guard.
When I look up, he’s scrutinizing me in his mind-reading manner. He’s very adept at it—a marked difference from Rob, who rarely picked up on my nonverbal cues.
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. You’re brooding over something. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing I care to discuss right now, please.”
Levi respects my privacy with a nod and then returns his attention to his screen.
I pick up our empty plates to take them to the kitchen. Since he’s such a neat freak, I thoroughly clean his countertops and return everything to its proper place. I’d do anything to avoid the apoplectic fit that would surely ensue if something were left out of place. As I’m hanging the dish towel to dry, my phone rings. Without looking at the screen, I answer.
“Hello?”
“Lindsey . . . it’s me.”
Rob! Oh, God, not today, not now. Without warning, a single, harsh sob escapes from my throat.
“Lindsey, don’t cry, baby. Talk to me. I need to talk to you today. Please.”
I slide down to the floor, with my legs pressed against my chest, to hide my crying from Levi. After a steadying breath, I hug the phone to my ear. I haven’t heard Rob’s voice in over two weeks.
“I’m not ready to talk.” My voice cracks twice during that short sentence.
“I know, but I can’t think of anything but you today. Everything’s wrong without you here. I can’t fucking believe we aren’t getting married tonight.” His voice is threaded with grief and tension. In this moment, if he were here, I’d collapse against him.
“Please don’t swear at me, Rob. This isn’t how I envisioned this day, either.”
“Then why’d you leave?” I hear him draw a deep breath. “Come home. Let’s fix this now, Lindsey.”
After only a brief time away, I’m already lured to the familiar. Closing my eyes, I picture Rob in our apartment, on the sofa, in jeans and an oxford shirt. I could nuzzle into the clean, lemony-soap scent of his neck. Still, a tiny voice from deep within tumbles out of my mouth.
“Rob, how’d she know where to find you?” I hold my breath.
“What?” He’s thrown by my lack of segue. “Who?”
“The random girl from the bar. She called you at work to tell you about her condition.” It occurs to me he hasn’t asked me about my health, so I decide not to share the good news I got from my doctor. Petty, but it’s one of the few things I can control. “How’d she know where to find you?”
My question’s met with silence, sinking my heart straight into my stomach. “She was at the bar, but that’s not where I met her. Ava works at Goldman. She’s Tim’s new assistant. But I swear, we were together only once. She joined our group after work and we got drunk together. That’s it.”
Ava. Her beautiful name summons an unwelcome image of an exotic siren, one with long legs dangling over a desk amid ledgers thrown to the floor in the heat of passion.
“You’re such a liar!” I shout, forgetting I’m not alone.
“I’m not lying. It meant less than nothing, Lindsey!”
His stern, resentful tone shocks me, but I’ll not be intimidated. I hear Levi moving around in the distance, so I lower my voice before responding.
“When you told me about her, you omitted the fact you see her every day at work. Does she stay late nights with all of you, too? If it meant ‘nothing,’ why didn’t you tell me the whole truth?”
“I knew you’d make a big deal of it. I can’t get her fired, Lindsey. I’d probably be sued on some trumped-up sexual harassment claim if I tried. She’s not my assistant, so I only see her infrequently. Most importantly, I don’t care about her. I love you. I want you to come home now.”
“No. I’m not coming home now. I may never come back to you. God, I really can’t trust you. Unless I know exactly which questions to ask, you won’t give me the full story. I can’t live that way, Rob.” I cringe inwardly at what Levi’s overhearing.