In the Cards(16)
Lindsey
Staring at the ocean while driving along the Pacific Coast Highway with my car top down, I catch sight of my bare finger gripping the steering wheel. I removed my engagement ring more than a week ago and, three days later, boxed up my belongings from Rob’s apartment.
After storing nonessentials, I kissed my parents, my friends, my job, and New York good-bye. With the help of my trust fund, I rented a small beach house in Malibu for several months.
I’ve fond memories of Malibu thanks to my childhood visits with my dad’s sister. The beach and mountains had always provided endless adventure. And although my mom called her kooky, I thought Aunt Sara’s artistic spirit and unconventional friends were warm and welcoming.
She was so different from Dad, sometimes I questioned whether she was adopted. At times, I’d secretly wished to go live with her and be free to explore the world. Naturally, my mother could barely conceal her relief when Aunt Sara moved to Brazil ten years ago with some musician. Now she’s living off the grid, so our visits are restricted to infrequent holiday FaceTime chats and e-mails.
Malibu won’t be the same without her, but the distance should enable me to contemplate my future with minimal interference from my past.
Rob’s deception rocked me, but it also allows me to reconsider the direction of my life. I only wish I didn’t feel like I’ve jumped from a plane without a parachute.
My cell phone rings, interrupting my thoughts and Rihanna’s raunchy song.
“Hello?”
“Are you there yet?” Jill asks.
“No. Navigation says thirty more minutes.” I grin, eager to reach my destination. “Of course, in this traffic, who knows?”
“I still don’t get why you had to leave New York to figure out whether or not to forgive Rob.”
“The pitying stares. The daily pressure from my mother.” I roll my eyes even though no one can see them. “I had to take drastic action.”
“Drastic is right.” Jill heaves an irritated, long sigh. “Seriously, is Rob’s one-time fling worth blowing up your whole life?”
“His ‘fling’ called him at work.” I feel the heat rush to my cheeks. “If she could find him there, she’s probably not the random one-timer he claims.”
“But he confessed before the wedding. Doesn’t that count?”
“Jill, he confessed to safeguard my health, not because of a crisis of conscience.” It’s just so humiliating, and I’m still awaiting the damn test results. “I can’t commit to a man who casually deceived me.”
Why start a marriage as an insecure wife, incessantly worrying? I won’t become one of those women who checks her husband’s pockets and e-mails, who spends endless hours and dollars on my appearance in order to compete with younger women, or who turns a blind eye to duplicity out of fear of loneliness.
“I’m sorry. I know this sucks for you.” Jill’s tone softens. “Have you canceled all the wedding plans?”
“Rob’s taking care of some of it with my mom’s help. He owed it to me after all I did to plan everything.” My heart pinches. “What a waste of time and money.”
The sudden silence makes me question whether the call dropped, but then Jill speaks.
“Maybe this break is a good idea, actually. You’ve always killed yourself trying to please everyone. You deserve some ‘me’ time.”
“Thanks, Jill.” I smile, happy for the crumb of understanding. “Hey, I’ve got to pay attention to my navigation because I’m getting closer. Talk later?”
“Bye!”
The sky-blue home’s tucked into a nest of palm trees and flowering shrubs. I spy the broker sitting in her car talking on her phone. As I approach her car, I notice her stretched skin and unexpressive forehead. She’s spent beaucoup bucks fighting her forties. Apparently, some things are identical on both coasts.
After introductions, a quick tour, and instructions about the alarm system, appliances, and so on, she hands me the keys and a bottle of champagne and then leaves me alone.
An hour later, my emptied suitcases and boxes are stowed in the closet. I scatter a few personal items and photographs throughout the home. Strolling through each room, I hug myself.
The house is eighteen hundred square feet of airy perfection. Its white stucco living and dining rooms, each with pitched beamed ceilings, open to a nice-sized deck, decorated simply with lounge chairs and terra-cotta potted plants. From there is a gorgeous view of the ocean and nearby pier. Upstairs, a corner fireplace and glass sliders adorn the master bedroom, which opens to a private deck with the same view as the one below.