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In This Moment(96)

By:Autumn Doughton

“Um.”

Everyone turns and looks at me expectantly. I try again. “D-do you guys, um, mind if Cole and I go outside for a second?”





Cole



The longer we just stand here staring on her front porch with a frail wind kicking up around our feet and the stars flickering above, the more the pressure builds.

“How’d you…” Her voice trickles away.

“Daniel. He gave me your address.” I can tell that she’s about to ask another question but I don’t give her the chance. I drove down here because I have something to say and I’m going to say it. “I want to ask you a question, but first, can I just talk for a minute?”

Aimee nods her head like she’s on autopilot. She’s got her eyebrows pulled together and her mouth pursed into a pucker and I can see that her whole body is practically shaking. I’m not sure if that’s a good sign or a bad sign.

I draw in a breath and let it out. “I called my mother earlier.”

“Oh.” She pulls her arms around her body. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” I tell her honestly. “We’re not alright but… we’ll see. It was actually her that told me to come here to see you. She pointed out that girls are big into the romantic gesture thing. I told her that you weren’t like most girls, which is true. But then I started to think that maybe she had a point.” I remember our first official date. Aimee said that she liked flowers and I realize that I probably should have brought her flowers or chocolates or bacon covered donuts or something. Ah, fuck it. All I’ve got is me and I’m going to keep talking even if it kills me. “But before I get into the whole romantic gesture, I need to tell you that you were being an idiot when you ended things.”

She makes a sound and her eyes change.

“Don’t look like that. It’s the truth. Pulling away from me was a bad call. I don’t need space to figure things out or get my shit together. I don’t need time or a shrink or a priest. I need you. I need you like I need air. And don’t think that I’m a codependent bastard who wants to smother you because it’s not like that. It’s not. The truth is that we make each other better. You make me better. Aimee, you make me want to be a better man.”

She looks down, pulls on the bottom of her t-shirt. “Cole, I—”

“I’m not done yet.” I blurt, pushing my hand back into my hair. “I actually stole that line from a movie but you didn’t know that, did you?”

She shakes her head and bites her bottom lip. Fuck. That lip.

“See? I know you, Aimee Spencer. I know you inside and out, and you know me. Shit. You’re crammed so far under my skin that it’s like my feelings can’t even take one step without tripping over a part of you.” I shuffle toward her. As long as I’m still breathing, I’m trying. “I want to be with you. And that might be selfish of me, but I never claimed to be selfless or a good guy. Maybe the circumstances aren’t perfect and maybe we don’t make sense all of the time, but as long as my heart is going and I’m still breathing, I’m going to try for you. I’ve got to fucking try because that first day… Aimee, you weren’t the only one that fell.” I take a long breath, attempting to control the maelstrom of words moving through me. I focus my gaze on her—on that one freckle on her cheek. “Now I have to ask you a question.”

Her voice is soft and uneven. “Okay.”

This is it.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Breathe.

No thoughts.

No worries.

“After all of it… the good, the bad, the in-between… If I told you that I love you, what would you say?”





Aimee



Love is a choice.

Cole is standing statue-still looking at me hard. His question reverberates in my ears. If I told you that I love you…

“I’d say that loving me is a bad idea.” All we’ve got are moments so I don’t make him wait long, maybe just a second or two. “And then I’d tell you that I love you too, and I’d probably throw in a sonnet or something else equally as cheesy.”

His eyes shift and he gets this look on his face. God, I love that look. “Yeah?”

My shrug is matter-of-fact like I’m not on the verge of unraveling into a boneless puddle. Cole Everly drove to my parent’s house and has placed his heart in his palm and passed it over to me. I’d say that it’s a feat of nature that I’m still able to keep myself upright. “This is hypothetical, right?”

Cole keeps his gaze locked on mine as he takes another step forward. Now he’s so close that I can see my reflection shine on the surface of his eyes and feel the warmth coming off of his body.