In This Moment(82)

“I know, but…” I’m a wimp.

“No buts,” Mara insists, grabbing hold of my left hand. “I know what’s going on with Cole’s mom is scary, but it’s a not an excuse to leave you hanging the way that he did.”

“If you don’t talk to him, it’ll be like a wound that festers and gets infected and starts oozing yellowish puss all over the place,” Jodi adds.

“That is disgusting.”

Mara chokes. “Seriously, Jodi.”

“I’m already lightheaded and you are not helping.”

“You called me and asked me for advice but you’re not willing to hear it.”

“Technically, I didn’t call you. I texted you.”

Jodi tilts her head to the side and cocks one eyebrow up toward her hairline. “Aimee, stop disagreeing with me and get your ass in there before I pick you up and throw you over my shoulder.”

I almost laugh. Jodi is barely five feet tall in heels. There’s no way that she’d be able to throw me anywhere.

“Those are fighting words.”

Her grin stretches wide. “Damn straight they are.”





Cole



The burn feels good. Clamping my teeth together until my gums tingle, I press two fingers into my eyelids and swallow hard. Acidy heat radiates up from my chest and pours out of my nostrils.

Damn. That’s good stuff.

Every sip takes me further away from shore. I’m out there, rocking with the motion of the water, floating under an open sky. I don’t give a fuck if I drift like this forever. I don’t give a fuck about anything. Wait. How does that old Papa Roach song go? Cut my life into pieces. Damn, I’m nauseous. I’ve reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing. Don’t give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding.

That’s me. Mindless. Suffocating. Not breathing. I’m not thinking about my mom or the way my little sister cried on the phone, or about Aimee’s blue eyes. Nope. I’m too strung out to think about anything. Do you even care if I die bleeding? I pick up another glass from the table and I tip my head all the way back.

Get off of him.

Someone sounds pissed.

How many has he had?

I blink against the harsh sting of the light. Daniel is staring down at me pointing accusingly at the empty shot glasses tipped over and dribbling onto the scratched veneer of the coffee table. “How many shots have you had, Cole?”

My ears feel blubbery and my head feels too heavy for my body. I lean into the corded fabric of the couch cushions and shrug my shoulders. Shit. Nothing seems to be working right. “I lost count a while ago.”

“I can’t believe that Adam and Nate let you get like this.” Daniel scans the room before reaching his hand down to me. “Get up. You’re beyond fucked up and I’m putting you to bed.”

I knock his hand away and try to speak. I’m going for I’m fine, but the words come out of my mouth muddied and broken. Breathing in through my nose, I close my eyes and rub a hand down the side of my face.

Did you hear what he said? Another voice. This one is even closer. Go away, Daniel, he’s just having a good time.

I pry my eyelids open and turn my head to the side. Shit. Kate Dutton is perched on my lap, hanging her arms over my shoulder and yapping like a fucking cockatoo. She moves and her bony ass digs harshly into my thigh.

“Seriously,” she’s shouting over the loud music. “Leave him alone.”

Daniel ignores her and directs his words at me. His face is fuzzy. “Don’t make this mistake, Cole.”

“Huh?” I’m groggy and my brain is sluggish and the noise isn’t helping.

“Damn it.” Daniel pauses. “Why don’t you go sleep it off and we’ll talk in the morning when your head is on straight? Think about Aimee.”

Aimee. Fucking Aimee. A memory bobs to the surface. I picture her face the way it looked when I left her tonight and I want to throw up all over myself. I’m an asshole.

“Sure are,” Daniel laughs and I realize that I’ve spoken out loud.

“Shit.” My body throbs. I sit up and try to nudge Kate off my lap with my forearms. “Sorry, but you need to move.”

Kate twists her blonde head around and glares at me. “Are you kidding me, Cole? You’ve certainly been enjoying my company for the last hour and now you’re going to act like I’m disposable? How many times do you think I’m going to put up with that?”

I cringe. What the fuck have I been doing? The past few hours are fuzzy and distorted—the memories chugging and slipping away from me like an engine that won’t turn over.

I know that when I got home from Aimee’s place a few of Adam’s friends were over here. The shit with my mom was hanging over my head and I just wanted to forget for a little while. I wanted numbness. Oblivion. I remember Adam cranking up the music and getting a bong down from the shelf and maybe there was some other stuff and… Fuck.