Nate is sitting on the couch—legs spread wide, arms braced on his knees—playing a video game. He glances up and smirks at me. “Hi-ya girl. So tell us… What the hell crawled up Cole’s ass and made a new home there?”
My eyebrows go up toward my hairline. “What do you mean?”
“He stomped in here a while ago, tripped over Adam’s sneakers, threw some shit around and then disappeared into his room and cranked his music up to ear-splitting.”
I can hear the music crashing through the walls. I grimace. “It’s—we had lunch with my parents and… I don’t know. It went okay, but then it didn’t.” I shake my head to clear it. “I’ll go talk to him.”
“Here,” Daniel says as he comes out of the kitchen holding a bottle of water. “Take this with you. And don’t let him give you any of his shit.”
“Thanks.” I smile warily and roll the cold bottle of water across my hot forehead.
The feral music gets louder as I walk down the hall. I give two warning knocks against the door before pushing it open. It’s go-time.
“What the fu—” Cole stops yelling when he sees that it’s me standing there. He’s stripped down to just his bathing suit, hunched over on the edge of his bed with his head resting in his hands. He looks like shit and a small part of me wonders if it was a bad idea to come here.
Sucking in one more breath for courage, I shut the door behind myself and walk over to his computer to mute the music.
The room prickles with the sudden and charged quiet. “We need to talk.”
Cole crosses an arm over his bare chest defensively. “So, talk.”
I take four deliberate steps to stand in front of him. Resting my fingers under his jaw, I pull his head up so that his face is level with my navel.
“Look,” I begin carefully. “I’m sorry about today. I really am. I know that meeting my parents should never have happened the way that it did. And I know that lying to you about my plans this afternoon was incredibly stupid.”
Cole lifts his eyebrows slightly. “How come you never mentioned me to your parents? Are you embarrassed to be with me?”
“No, I—” I’m momentarily thrown. How could he ever think that I would be embarrassed? Cole is amazing. I’ve witnessed firsthand the blinding effect that he has on people, especially girls. They can’t even think clearly around him. He’s athletic and gorgeous and smart and fun and… My thoughts fade out and I sigh. “Cole, I’m not embarrassed. Not even close. You’re everything that I’m not and I can barely get my head wrapped around the fact that you looked at me twice. I-I’ve spent so much energy trying to gain some kind of… control over my life, and when I’m around you that just flies away. It scares me.”
He doesn’t speak so I continue. “I didn’t tell my parents because… I don’t know. I just didn’t. And I understand that you’re mad and maybe annoyed or whatever, but I have to ask you a question. Have you ever said anything to your dad about me?”
He tightens his jaw and flicks his eyes to mine. “That’s not fair. I’ve told So—”
“Have you told your dad about me?” I repeat my question.
“No. But I don’t talk to my dad about shit, Aimee. He’s far away, and aside from his work, he lives his entire life like he’s in a fucking coma. It’s amazing that he knows my sister’s name let alone my girlfriend’s name. So don’t ask me about my mom or my dad like that can buy you some kind of currency. It’s not the same thing because we don’t have what you have with your parents.”
“Wake up, Cole. How can you not see that what I currently have with my parents is just as dysfunctional as what you’ve got with yours? My dad and I used to be close. He came to every single one of my meets and cheered me on. He loved taking me to his club and showing me off. Now? I’m an embarrassment! Everyone knows what a big, fat failure of a human being I am and my dad doesn’t know how to handle that. Since Jillian died, he barely speaks to me. And my mom? She only says things at me. It’s like both of them think that I’m going to kill myself at any moment or come up with some new way to ruin my life. Do you know what that feels like? To have every person in your life staring at you, just waiting for you to fall apart?” I take a shaky breath. “And I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings but… I-I just wasn’t ready to tell them about us. They’d have questions and I wasn’t ready to answer them because I… I don’t know…”