In This Moment(50)

I laugh and slouch into the seat. “No, I’m not letting you down, but I am being at least quasi-serious.”

Cole leans over the console and trails his finger across my bottom lip. I have to fight back a shiver that starts at the top of my head and works its way down my body. How I physically respond to him is both ridiculous and slightly embarrassing.

“I get what you’re saying, but maybe that doesn’t matter so much,” he says quietly, dropping his hand and gripping the steering wheel. He expertly parks his truck in front of my townhouse. “We’ve been spending all this time together and I know what kind of face cream you put on before bed and what you look like in the morning. It’s true that I don’t know everything about you, but there’s time and…” He shrugs his powerful shoulders. “I know enough about you to realize that I want to know more.”

We sit in the dark for a while with the air conditioning running on high and Cole’s music playing in the background. On the other side of the tinted windows, the stars fan out limitlessly across the blue-black night sky.

“Does that mean that we’ll go on a few dates and see what happens?” God. What an awkward thing to ask. Maybe that’s not what he was getting at. I pull my hair over my shoulder and twist the ends around my index finger.

“I hope that we’ll do more than go on a few dates, Aimee.” Cole furrows his forehead and pushes back his thick hair with a hand. He looks over at me and his entire face seems to narrow a bit. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m totally in this if you are.”

I drop my eyes and drum my fingers against the door latch. I know that there are so many things that I should say right now but I don’t know how to get the words out. I followed my impulses earlier when I kissed him. I’d been thinking about Cole in so many different ways and when we were sitting on the sand, listening to the rhythmic sound of the water moving over the shore, everything changed. All of my excuses flew away and the only thing that made any sense to me was this idea of wanting him. “I feel like I just walked off a cliff not expecting to land on my feet…” My voice peters out.

“But you did.”

I look up and take a deep breath. “I guess I did.” He’s smiling and I can’t help but smile back. “I’m not good at this.” I point back and forth between us. “And I want to do everything right but I’ve been avoiding this kind of thing for over a year and now…” I shake my head. “I’m not sure where to start.”

“I’ve been avoiding this,” he points the way that I did, “for a lot longer than you have so if you’re confused then we’re completely fucked.”

I laugh and give a jerky shrug. “So what does that mean for us?”

He lifts one arm and tugs on my hair tenderly. His look is level. “It means that we start at the beginning.”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“Neither do I, but I think we can figure it out together.”

I’m all right with that.





CHAPTER TWELVE





Aimee



Sometime during my first class on Tuesday, I begin to freak out and it’s like I can’t stop freaking out.

“I don’t see what the problem is,” Jodi says. We’re sitting on a bench in front of the tattoo shop where Kyle works and we’re sharing a bag of Skittles that Jodi dredged up from one of the interior pockets of her backpack. She got me here after class by threatening to serenade me with the first verse of Teenage Dream in the middle of the union  . I’ve learned that Jodi’s big into using intimidation to get her way.

My previous doubts are back with a vengeance. “I told you already. I just worry that dating Cole is going to mess everything up.”

The sun is hiding behind a wall of smoky grey clouds and the air is thick with the smell of an impending afternoon rainstorm. It’s slightly cooler than it’s been for the past few weeks which means that I’m not sweating. If Florida has a fall, this is it.

“You’re overthinking things again. Cole likes you. You like him. You’re going on a date with him tonight because that’s what two people do when they like each other. End of story.” She shakes out the colored sugar from the bottom of the bag into her upturned palm.

“I’ll admit that kissing Cole was nice,” I say slowly. Jodi gives me this are-you-kidding-me look and I amend my statement. “Okay… kissing Cole was sort of mind-blowing. But dating him is a completely different story.” I sigh. “I think I should probably just cancel. I don’t have anything to wear anyway.”