Mom preferred before. Before was solid. Happy, healthy, popular Aimee lived there.
After is unfamiliar. It’s all scars and therapists and tears. And it doesn’t make a difference if I get straight A’s or stay out of trouble. To my mom, after is an uneven pile of what-ifs.
Mara’s hand settles into the crook of my elbow. She makes a big deal of looking me in the eye so that I know that she’s serious. “I’m glad that you set Mom straight. And, Aimee, I’m sorry that I’ve been giving her updates about you. I thought I was helping, but after tonight, I promise that’s over.”
I swallow. Yeah, it had been hurtful to listen to my mom twist things around that only Mara could have told her, but I already knew that they were talking about me so it’s not like I was shocked. And even though my sister and I don’t agree on everything, I know that she would never hurt me on purpose. I pat her hand reassuringly. “I know that you didn’t mean anything by it so let’s just forget that tonight ever happened.”
Mara smiles and squeezes me. “Love ya.”
“Love ya more.”
After that, we fall into a comfortable silence. I don’t bring up the Ryan Gosling movie again. Instead there’s an old episode of Law and Order on TV. We’ve both seen it more than once so pretty soon we’re shouting things at the characters and laughing and eating pretzel M&Ms from the stash that I keep stored next to the couch.
When the show credits roll, Mara turns her head toward me and swirls her finger in the air. “I’m sick of sitting around. It’s a Friday night and I think that we should go out.”
I pick up my phone and bring the display screen to life so that I can see the clock. “It’s almost midnight, Mara.”
“And your point is?”
“Where are we going to go? You know that I don’t have a fake ID anymore.” I got rid of it over a year ago.
Mara snorts. “It’s not a problem. I know a guy.”
My eyebrows go up. “You know a guy? What are you, like in the mob or something?”
Mara chuckles. “No. It’s worse than the mob. I’m in a sorority.” She stands and holds out her hand to me. “Come on. I think that after the family dinner from hell, we deserve to have some shots and fun.”
Cole’s words from the other day flit through my head. Maybe I do need more fun in my life.
Cole
The music at this place sucks. I’m sweating balls. The beer’s damn expensive. And I’m pretty sure some chick just went and puked over in the corner near the bathrooms. Classy.
I turn on the stool and prop my forearms against the edge of the lacquered bar top. I still can’t believe that I agreed to come out so late. I have practice in the morning and my headache is getting worse by the second but I wasn’t ready to call it a night. Maybe a part of me didn’t want to sit around that couch one more second waiting to see if Aimee would show. So when Nate and Adam suggested that we move the house party to a dance club, I went along with the idea and encouraged Megan to gather up her friends.
“Want to dance?” Megan asks me for third time since we got here. She’s crushing her boobs against my biceps and standing on her tiptoes so that her mouth can reach my ear.
“Nah,” I shake my head and raise the bottle of beer I’m holding to let her know that I’m occupied. “I’m good.”
I can tell by the look on her face that this is not the answer that she was hoping for. I’m being an asshole and Megan’s been taking the brunt of it for almost two hours. She might be an over-zealous flirt, but she’s actually not awful. It’s not her fault I’m in such a fucked-up mood tonight.
I set my beer bottle down and cup my palm against her lower back. “Why don’t you do me a favor and go save my buddy Daniel over there?” I suggest, tipping my chin toward Daniel, who was cornered the minute we walked through the door by a loony chick claiming to be in one of his classes. “My boy looks like he’s ready to drown himself in his drink.”
Megan’s grey eyes follow mine. “You got it.” She breaks into a mega-watt smile and runs her manicured fingernails down my arm before stalking away. I will say one thing: the girl has a fine, plump ass on her.
I watch, amused, as Megan bats her eyelashes and works her ample curves to scare off the other girl. In two minutes flat she has her arm hooked around Daniel’s waist and is dragging him out with her to the dance floor.
“She’s got skills,” I mutter and take another sip of my beer.
“Cole, man,” Nate yells over the music. He comes up beside me and slams his empty beer bottle down on the bar top. “Ready for another one?”