She lowered her eyes and clasped her hands tightly in her lap. "I cannot discard my worries, Sebastian. Not after what I discovered today."
Concern came crashing down on him as he braced for confirmation of what he suspected she was about to say. "Please tell me you're not pregnant."
She centered her gaze on his. "I am pregnant, and I am thrilled. I hope you will put aside your fears and celebrate the news."
Celebrate? He came off the couch, laced his hands behind his neck and began to pace like a caged cougar. "How can you expect me to be happy after what you've told me about my mother?"
"I knew I was taking a chance by unveiling the truth, yet I had to be forthright."
He spun around to confront her. "That truth only cements my apprehension."
"Your mother chose to become pregnant against medical advice and your father's protests. She also chose not to seek appropriate treatment after she lost the baby, and in turn inadvertently caused her own death due to her deception. In a way I understand-"
"Of course you would," he said, noticeable anger in his tone. "I imagine you would do the same."
Fury turned her features to stone. "I would not do the same, and I cannot fathom why you would believe I would risk my life to have a baby if I had been told the cost would be so high. But I have not been told that, Sebastian. On the contrary, the doctor said I have every reason to believe this time will be different."
"And what if it's not? What if you lose another child? Worse still, what if you lose your life?"
She finally rose from the sofa. "I refuse to buy into your pessimism and fears. I choose to be optimistic and hopeful. If you cannot join me in that optimism, then there is no hope for us at all."
He experienced a different fear. "What are you saying?"
"I am saying go back to London, Sebastian. If you do not want this child, and clearly you do not, then I cannot be with a man who will not support me during my pregnancy. I would prefer to be surrounded by people who will be happy to provide that support. I have that here with Rafe and Violet."
"I need time to think." Time to assess the possibilities.
She picked up her purse, withdrew the bracelet with the rattle charm he had given her all those months ago and laid it on the table before him, as if she was bent on wounding him further. "Then think, but I warn you not to take too long. In the meantime, I am going to stay with Rafe until you decide what you want. I respectfully request you not attempt to contact me until you've made up your mind. I will have someone return the car later this evening."
As he watched his wife walk away, Sebastian experienced a strong sense of déjà vu. Her departure from London a brief month ago had come with the same demand not to contact her. Then, too, he had suffered an emotional pain that stole his breath and his resolve. With his overriding fear of losing Nasira, he had definitely cemented that self-fulfilling prophecy he'd been so concerned about.
He wasn't the kind of man who would abandon his child, provided that child came to be, yet he worried his wife had already abandoned any expectations of salvaging their marriage.
If he did not come to terms with impending fatherhood, and learn to embrace it, he risked saying goodbye to his beautiful Nasira for good.
He had too much to consider, and too little time.
* * *
"Have you heard from your worthless husband?"
Seated in the chair next to the window, Nasira glanced up from the book she was pretending to read, steeling herself against her brother's consternation. "Have I?"
He moved from the doorway and perched on the bench at the end of the bed. "If I knew, I would not have asked."
"If my memory serves me correctly, you failed to tell me Sebastian called when I arrived here. How can I trust that you have not thwarted his attempts to contact me this time?"
"I assure you he has not called and if he had, I would have informed you immediately. I have learned my lesson in that regard."
She highly doubted that. "I truly do not want you to worry about my situation during what should be a joyous time for you and Violet. Are you looking forward to the wedding tomorrow?"
"I am looking forward to having Violet back in my bed. I do not understand the tradition involving withholding the bride from the groom before the wedding."
"It is believed that sleeping with the bride the night before the wedding will invite bad luck."
"It only invites sexual frustration."
Spoken like a man. "Has she left yet?"
"No. She is still packing her suitcases while Mac remains downstairs, growing increasingly impatient. What will you do if Sebastian returns to London without contacting you?"
Nasira refused to give up on him yet. "I am trying not to entertain that possibility."
"Regardless, I will contact Nolan Dane after Violet and I return from our honeymoon. He's a lawyer here in Royal who used to work for me."
"I do not need a barrister." At least not presently.
"You might in the future. He will provide a reference for a family law attorney should you decide to pursue a divorce. Preferably a high-profile attorney to ensure you will receive an equitable share of your husband's assets. One who has experience dealing with international divorce."
She tossed her book onto the side table and sighed. "I do not need Sebastian's money, Rafe. I have more than enough left of my inheritance."
"That is your decision."
"Yes, it is."
"At the very least he should be required to support the child."
She should not be surprised that Violet had told Rafe about the baby. Somewhat disappointed, yes, but not at all shocked. "I see you have been talking to your fiancée."
"Do not blame Violet, Nasira. I pressed her for information when you arrived on our doorstep, looking as though you had lost your dearest friend. She had no choice but to reveal the details to put my mind at ease, although she did not accomplish that goal."
"You need not worry, brother," Nasira said. "I will manage on my own if necessary."
Rafe took on an angry guise. "I would like to seek out Sebastian and tell him-"
"You will not say a word, Rafiq. This is not your concern."
"You have always been my concern, my petite pearl."
She smiled at the brotherly term of endearment. "I am no longer your life, Rafe. Violet is. Your unborn child is."
He rose from the bench, crossed the space between them and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You will always be a part of my life. I will always be there to protect you if your husband refuses to do so."
She had to learn to accept that Sebastian could be absent from her world forever. That she might never converse with him again. Hold him again. Make love with him again...
The shrill of the doorbell thrust her thoughts back to the present. The sound of the deep, endearing voice demanding he see her sent her shattered heart on a sprint.
Had he come to tell her he intended to stay, or to say farewell for all eternity?
Ten
As his brother-in-law descended the staircase, stood in the opening to the parlor Sebastian prepared to be thrown out on his arse. Yet when Nasira followed not far behind, sporting a plain cotton blouse, light blue slacks and a champion scowl, he sensed she would prefer to do the honors herself. He would accept that fate. He deserved it.
He glanced to his right to see Violet and her brother, Mac, Sebastian's former nemesis, seated on the sofa as if they planned to preside over a kangaroo court with him playing the defendant. Rafe brushed past him and claimed the overstuffed chair adjacent to the settee, not bothering to hide his disdain for his sister's spouse.
Nasira remained in the foyer, her arms folded beneath her breasts, looking every bit the hanging judge. "Well?"
"May I speak with you in private, Sira?" he asked with forced civility. "It's extremely important."
She regarded the curious onlookers before bringing her attention back to him. "Whatever you need to say, you may say it in front of my family and friends."
She had turned his privacy plan on its proverbial ear, and he would have to accept it, even if it meant an unwelcome audience. "You're absolutely right. Your friends and family are most welcome to witness what I have to say. I only hope they support my decision."
Her shoulders immediately tensed. "I assume that decision involves your return to London."