"A submissive. Is that what I was to you?"
"I was hoping so. I thought we were moving that direction. Clearly it was not what you wanted."
She lowered her hands to her lap so he couldn't see the way she was wringing them together beneath the table. The wall that faced the hallway was made of glass, so anyone passing by could see inside the room. This wasn't where she would have chosen to have this discussion, where anyone could witness her humiliation, but she didn't want to lose the opportunity. "It is what I want," she confessed, voice raw. "I was out of line in more ways than one." She took a breath, and he didn't speak. Unsure if she'd have another chance to apologise, she continued, "You own the company, and I should have told you what I had done. I called your phone that day, but I could have, should have, left a message. Regardless, the relationship we have-or had-outside of the office demanded I show you more respect." She blinked. "I'm not sure how to make it up to you, or if I can earn your forgiveness."
He pressed his palms together in front of his face and tapped his index fingers.
The moment drew out over at least thirty excruciating seconds before he spoke.
"I want to be very clear about a few things. First, your immediate action saved the Hoskins Group account. Second, I see that you made systems changes to ensure it doesn't occur again. I'm not happy the fuck-up happened to begin with, and I'm not happy we extended the term of the original agreement without giving the renewal due consideration."
She absently picked at a cuticle.
"Where I take exception to your behaviour is with your deviousness."
Maggie exhaled a shaky breath.
"You are supposed to be my most trusted adviser, Maggie. Is there another word that applies better? Distrustfulness, perhaps?"
That was worse. "No, Sir," she said.
"Where do you want to go from here?" he asked, dropping his hands and leaning towards her.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Barb walk by.
"I've been lonely, Mr Tomlinson." And the nightmares were a constant companion. "I'd like a second chance. I'm not sure I will ever be a perfect submissive. But I do know the time with you makes me want to try."
"Your behaviour would have to be punished." He leant back in his chair, studying her.
Oh God. Panic made her freeze. "Sir?"
"We discussed punitive spankings, Maggie. As I recall, you said you would not like to receive one. I promise, you would hate it."
She shuddered.
"I've taken some time to consider the situation from your point of view and understand why you would betray my confidence in that way."
Betray. Another harsh word.
He'd said he'd taken time to think about her motivations. Now she also saw things from his vantage. He'd been relentless in his honesty throughout and she understood how she'd hurt him. The knowledge made her heart ache.
"We could be good together, Maggie, on a personal as well as professional level. The decision as to whether we will be or not has always been in your hands. It still is."
"But I'd have to submit to your punishment."
"It's for you, as much as for me."
"I don't understand."
"You said you didn't know how to make it up. You can, anytime you want, by submitting to my cane."
"Jesus." Her heart slammed to a stop as fear collided with nerves.
"Five strokes. In my office. Your behaviour happened here, it will be punished here."
She couldn't string two coherent thoughts together, and speech became impossible. He gave her time to process what he'd said. "You … Are you serious?"
"Deadly."
His lips were set in a firm line. His eyebrows were relaxed, his shoulders loose. He was calm about this. And, she was certain, not negotiable. "I need to think."
"Of course."
* * * *
She spent the next day doing nothing but that. On Sunday, she went over to Vanessa's house.
Vanessa blended up an extra-large batch of margaritas and poured each of them a glass before they went outside to sit on the deck. Even that reminded her of being with David. "Bring Mama V up to date."
"Mama V?"
"One of the twins calls me that."
"Shit. They're twins?"
"Fraternal."
"And you're the Domme now?"
"Not always. But it turns out I look pretty good in boots and holding a whip."
"I bet you do." Maggie took a drink.
"Let me know if you'd like me to practise on you. I can show you a few tricks to get your man to lick your boots."
Maggie choked on a piece of ice. Vanessa laughed and slapped her on the back.
"Now get serious," Vanessa said. "And give me the ugly details."
Maggie brought her friend up to date, leaving nothing out. "And he wants me to call him Master."
"What the hell did you expect? Unlike my boys, your man's a Dom. It's not just a term of respect, it's an acknowledgement of the power exchange. And you get to decide whether you want to have that kind of relationship or flip him the bird. You get that, right? He didn't fire your ass, and you can continue your work relationship on professional terms. What the man asked you is if you wanted to be his sub. Do you?"
"It's not that easy."
"No relationship is, especially with someone as demanding as he is. Nothing comes with guarantees, you know that. Is it better to go for it or live with the regret?"
Maggie thought about her father's premature death. Would her mother have been better off if she'd never met him, sparing her the grief of loss?
"I'd trade in the twins for a chance like you've got," Vanessa said.
"Seriously?"
Vanessa drained her margarita in a single, big gulp. "Well, I'd consider it, at least. My advice? Call him what he wants and take your punishment like a big girl." She put down her empty glass. "I'll be back with the pitcher."
They spent the rest of the afternoon talking about a dozen different things, and by the time Maggie arrived back home, she felt settled in a way she hadn't before. She thought about sending him a text message then opted to wait.
That night, she had her usual, middle-of-the-night glass of water on the patio.
She looked at the cloudless sky and realised all the nightmares had one thing in common-they were trying to force her to look deep inside herself, to see what she feared then face it.
Alone, she did.
Yes, he might be dominating and overbearing, demanding more from her than she'd ever given. But he also gave more than she'd ever received-comfort, belief, trust. Next to him, all other relationships became insignificant. What he was offering was something real and authentic. There'd be no hiding, no other men, no lies or half-truths. She'd be physically exposed and emotionally vulnerable.
Was she brave enough to meet his demands?
At the office, he continued to be cool and polite. He didn't bring up their personal relationship. He seemed energetic and as focused as always, and that annoyed her. She envied his calm, wanting him to be as torn up inside as she was.
Over the next couple of days, she ran through the gamut of emotions before facing the truth. Somewhere along the line, she'd fallen in love with him. She admired his business acumen, but most of all she liked the way he was relentless in insisting she give everything she had to offer. She respected his inflexibility, his honesty, the way he cared for her when they were together. He made her feel safe and kept nightmares at bay.
Last week he'd said he missed her, taking the first step in repairing the damage she'd caused. She missed him and wanted to be with him, even if it meant she had to accept a caning as well as his terms.
On all levels, she was terrified.
During her lunch hour, she sent him a message asking if she could have a moment of his time late this afternoon.
He responded that he would see her at six o'clock.
Because she was dreading their meeting and had no idea what she was going to say or how she was going to approach him, the hours passed like minutes. By four-thirty, many of the employees had left. By five, she and David were the only two people in the building.
She tried to compose a letter, but couldn't put the words in the right order. A couple of minutes before their appointment, her cell phone alarm rang. As if there had been any possibility she wouldn't notice the time.
Maggie double-checked that the front door was secure and all office lights and equipment were turned off. At the top of the hour, she paused outside his door to drink in several breaths. Her body felt oxygen deprived, making her lightheaded. Then she knocked.