“You’ve done more than enough for me, Luke.”
Again, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to tell her that he’d not done nearly as much as he planned to do for her. But the words lodged in his throat. Why was he always so damned tongue-tied around her when it came to speaking from his heart? Was it because, as he feared, he truly had no heart, just a black hole that reflected the darkness of his soul?
Telling her anything at all should come easily. After all, they knew the worst of each other’s lives. Why was that so much easier to share than what should be the best?
He took a step back. “I’ll probably see you tomorrow.”
“I’ll let you know then exactly how I plan to use this money you’ve given me.”
“Use it however it pleases you, Frannie. It comes with no attachments. You owe me no explanations.”
“You’ve never been comfortable around orphans, have you?”
“Whatever are you about? All my best friends are orphans.”
“Feagan’s merry little band of ne’er-do-wells. We’re an odd assortment, aren’t we?”
“Only because we overcame the circumstances of our youths and are all quite successful.”
“We have your grandfather to thank for our change in fortunes. He lifted us all up when he lifted you.”
“If he was my grandfather.”
“How can you still doubt it?”
He almost told her the truth, but he didn’t think she’d approve of the lie he was certain he was living. He gave her what he hoped was one of his more charming smiles. “Good night, Frannie. Sweet dreams.”
As for himself, he had only nightmares when he drifted into slumber.
He strode from the room before she could pester him for more answers. His former life was an area that he didn’t relish reliving. Sometimes it struck him as strange that he wanted to marry someone who was so ensconced in his past. With her at his side, he’d never be able to run from it, but perhaps he could better face it.
He was nearly to the front door when he heard, “You owe me five quid, Luke.”
Coming to an abrupt halt, he turned and watched as Jack Dodger swaggered toward him, a confident grin on his darkly rugged face.
“You don’t know that,” Luke said when Jack stopped in front of him.
“So you did ask Frannie to marry you?”
With a sigh, Luke removed his wallet from inside his jacket and handed Jack the requested amount. “I never should have told you my intentions.”
“No, you never should have accepted the wager that you’d actually do it.” Jack tucked away the money. “Did you want to take one of my girls home with you tonight”—he winked—“for a bit of comfort?”
Luke cursed Jack soundly for tempting him, cursed himself for finding it so difficult to resist temptation. He’d never availed himself of one of Jack’s girls.
“I’m not going to let Frannie see me walking out with one of your girls.”
“I’ll send her ’round the back. Frannie’ll never know.”
“You don’t think your girls talk?”
“They’re very discreet. I insist on it.”
Luke considered, then shook his head. “No, I’ll not risk causing her to doubt my affection.”
“Are you saying you’ve been celibate all these years?”
“Of course not, but like your girls, I am extremely discreet.” Dodger’s was not the only place to offer female companionship. Besides, Frannie was less likely to hear of Luke’s liaisons if he sought them out elsewhere. For a few years, he’d even had a mistress, but they had parted ways when Luke had decided that it was time to ask Frannie to be his wife.
“For God’s sake, Frannie works here. She knows men have urges.”
“I’m not going to have her wonder about mine. You might understand if you had someone you favored.”
“I prefer my women bought. Ensures no misunderstandings.”
And in Luke’s experience, no real passion.
“So shall we make the usual wager for tomorrow?” Jack asked.
“By all means.”
“It’s been almost a year since you set yourself this task. I don’t relish getting rich off my friends, so take care of the matter tomorrow, will you?”
“If you don’t relish it then stop making the blasted wagers!”
“You know I have a weakness where wagering is concerned.” A corner of his mouth hitched up. “And I can seldom beat you at cards.”
“Tomorrow. I’ll ask her tomorrow,” Luke said with renewed conviction.
Jack clapped him on the shoulder. “Bring another fiver just in case.”