His hands.
His mouth.
The way he felt inside me.
I need to see him now...
Me: I just got here, but I’m ready to get out of here, what are you doing?”
Bodies that line the dance floor sway with the beat of the sexy music playing. My eyes scan the room, a couple is locked in a sensual embrace at the table to my left. A sad feeling envelops me. I need to distract myself. I jump up on the plush banquette and start to dance, losing myself in the rhythmic sounds. Closing my eyes and swaying with the music, I am totally consumed as the music flows through me, and I seductively move my body. Slowly opening my eyes, I look over to the table, but the couple is gone. What I do catch is a pair of cerulean eyes staring at me. My breath hitches and warmth spreads through me.
There he is.
The man who haunts my dreams.
His eyes lock on mine and steal my breath away. I am under his spell.
I know I saw him this morning, but it feels like that was forever ago. Oh God, Ava, you forgot to breathe. Moments pass and we are still locked in each other’s line of vision, but the spell is soon broken as the most beautiful blond sashays up to him wrapping her arms around him as she approaches. I can’t see her face from this angle. She looks at him, then follows his eyes to me. I finally see her. Moments stand still as familiar features come together to make up Danielle. The glass slips from my hand. Although silent against the bass of the music, the crash of the glass echoes through me like a freight train. In the distance I can see her throw her head back and laugh. Is she laughing at me?
I need to run.
I feel empty.
This is not real.
This is not happening.
I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, and the only sound I hear is coming from my shaking jaw as it rattles from nerves.
My pulse is erratic; I swear I might pass out.
Somehow mustering up all the strength I’ve left in me, I decide to head over to them. With all the pride in me, I walk in their direction. My stomach dips with each step my feet take. And here they are…I might be sick. Danielle drapes herself on his arm and middle. She leans over and her lips start trailing kisses down his neck. Our eyes meet, and I can see him inhale deeply. His unwavering gaze haunts me. He steps away from Danielle, untangling her arms from his waist.
The fear consumes me.
The tension in the room is tangible.
I stand stiff, not moving as I wait for the answer to the question that is playing in my head. The truth is gripping me by the throat. I knew. I knew that my life would never be the same again.
My eyes focus on the table in front of them, the crystal champagne glass. They’re celebrating, but what, I don’t know. The reflection of light sparkles and reflects off the surface. I try to calm my breath so I can speak.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale
“What are you doing here?” My voice comes out small, broken, “You knew I would be here? I told you where I was. D-Did you come here on purpose?” The look in his eyes is all the confirmation I need.
“I'm so stupid. So fucking stupid.”
His face is impassive. I look into his eyes for something, anything, a sign that he isn’t done, that he still wants me, that I still have a chance.
I see nothing.
“But you said…”
Memories crash down upon me. Visions flood my sight. All the things I’ve given up. I guess it’s what he didn’t say, that is what I should have heard.
I feel myself unraveling. My eyes widen with disbelief as reality sets in. The thought of never kissing him ever again rushes through my mind, of never touching him. The mere idea of not having him in my life chokes me, and I bite back the sob that is forming.
"Was any of it real?” As the seconds tick by, I feel my soul tear apart. “You said you wanted me…you owned me. You broke me, just like I knew you would, but I thought…I just thought you’d be there to put me back together.” His gaze penetrates me.
Rips me to shreds.
Stone.
Cold.
Barren.
Danielle finally laughs. “Oh, honey, if only you knew.” She winks.
Arm in arm they turn and walk away, and I watch Ryder walk out of my life.
Forever.
HOURS.
Minutes.
Seconds pass.
I’m home. I’m a wreck. I’m hanging on by a thread. My phone vibrates. A new email…and it’s from Ryder Matthews. My chest hurts, fear bursts throughout my body. I can feel my breath becoming shallow.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I’m petrified. I’m frozen in place, scared out of my mind to even look. I see the file that was sent to me has an attachment. Opening the email I see that within my email is an advanced reader’s copy of his newest book. I quickly forward it to my Kindle.
My hands are shaking so hard I almost drop it. I swipe the screen and re-fresh and sync.