“Hello, my name is Bridgette. Will you be joining us for dinner or just drinks?” Ryder turns to me. “Ava, would you like to eat here, or do you want to have a cocktail then sit in the main room?”
I nervously smile at him. I think about what would happen if we bumped into someone we knew here. I think we’re safe as Bryant Park is more popular with a younger crowd. I know Lenore would never be caught dead here, and I’m not concerned about Alexandre as he doesn’t eat sushi. I slowly nod my head as I decide my answer.
“Here is fine.”
Bridgette beams with excitement. She must need tips. “Great. What can I get you guys to drink to start with?”
“Ava?”
“What martini are you famous for? I always forget.” I inquire.
“Yes, we are famous for our signature Koi Lychee Martini. Is that what you want?” I nod, and she turns her attention back to Ryder. “And for you, sir?”
Ryder doesn’t take his eyes off me as he speaks. “What brands of scotch do you have?”
“We have Glen Livet, Glen Fiddich, Macallan.” Ryder cuts her off mid-sentence. “Do you have any Johnny Walker?”
“Yes.” She bats her eyes.
“What label do you have? Do you have blue?”
“Yes, we do,” she purrs.
“Okay, Lychee Martini for the lady, and Blue for me,” with that he dismisses her and turns back to me.
“You look absolutely beautiful today, Ava.” The way he says my name takes my breath away.
“Thank you, Ryder. So what did you do today?” I ask him.
“Other than wonder when I will get to see you again?”
“Yes, other than that.”
“Well, really that is all. I spent a lot of time thinking about what you were doing, Ava.” He pauses, his voice becoming deeper, full of need. “Thoughts of you consume me.” His crystal blue eyes bore into mine.
The emotions I feel to the words he speaks are pulling me in a million directions. My thoughts are all jumbled in my head. I don’t know which way is left or right. Which way is up or down. As I ponder his statement, his gaze continues to sear through my soul, tearing me apart. I’ve never felt this way before. I smile as I try to right myself.
“You sparkle when you smile. You should smile more. You are truly remarkable.”
“Thank you Ryder, hearing you say that, well,” I stutter, “hearing you say that, makes me want to…”
“You should spend every second of everyday smiling.”
I soak in his words and close my eyes.
“I want to know what you are thinking,” he says as I shake myself out of the haze.
“I was just thinking about how you take my breath away. I wish I did the same to you.”
“You do. You truly do.” His voice is soft as if he’s trying to comfort me.
Ryder, in the few weeks he has known me, has mastered the art of sensing what I need from him. He always seems to gauge my mood precisely. Obviously sensing I’m feeling emotionally exhausted from this exchange, he decides to propose a toast, an official segue to a new topic. I banish my thoughts and switch directions in the conversation.
“So, Ryder, tell me a little about your new book.”
“Well, it’s about a beautiful woman who is tremendously unhappy in her marriage and becomes susceptible to the advances of a man who is not her husband.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”
“Well, you don’t know that, Ava.” He pauses his eyes unreadable. “The ending has yet to be written." I quietly will myself not to hyperventilate.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I cannot will myself to speak. My voice has been rendered useless.
“Silence has its own voice, Ava. Sometimes the most profound statements are not said, but rather felt.”
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
My walls come crashing down. I feel as though I’m living in a dream. This could not really be happening to me. I feel like I’m suffocating. His passion is boundless, I want to capture this moment and hold onto this feeling forever.
The waitress chooses this moment to return, and I welcome the interruption. She brings over our first round of drinks, and we sit quietly as we wait for her to set the cocktails down and leave us. As she walks away, Ryder focuses his attention back on me.
“I want to make you laugh,” he states, matter of fact.
“You do?"
“Yup,” his voice is playful, teasing me. The creases in his eyes form again. God that smile.
A soft laugh finds passage through my lips. “That sound, Ava…it heals my splintered soul.” He smiles again, but this time it doesn’t touch his eyes. I’m curious about why, and I’m instantly reminded about what Jules said in regards to what I know of Ryder.