He leans forward; his lips graze my ear. “You're the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever met. Hearing you speak, the excitement in your voice. The blush of your cheeks when I make you uncomfortable…Ava, you fascinate me.” I shake my head in confusion and as I go to open my mouth, he lifts his hand up to stop me. “You’re astonishing. Do you understand?” The way he says my name gives me chills. Goose bumps prick at my skin.
“Yes, I understand.”
“Come with me.”
My fate sealed.
There’s something so real about him, and when he tells me to do something I feel I’ve no choice but to comply. He smiles and lightly grabs my arm, ushering me to the back of the room. My steps are rocky as I follow him. Now situated close to the window overlooking the city, Ryder stands by my side. His warm breath in my ear, “Where is your husband, Ava?” His words seduce me. He looks at me like a hungry predator stalking his prey. There is so much more meaning behind his simple words, knowing this leaves me dizzy with need.
“I don’t know…I don’t know,” I breathe out again in almost a whisper as his fingers skim my waist.
“That is a shame.” He is trailing a pattern down my torso, stopping at the curve of my hip. I shudder and my breath hitches as his hand turns me around. His eyes glaze over with desire and he leans forward. “Tell me to stop.” His face is a mere inch away from mine, “Tell me to stop, Ava.”
My heart slams against my chest. I’m weak and dizzy. I shut my eyes and in a pained tone I utter the word I couldn’t say with my eyes open.
“Stop.”
All time stands still. No sound. No movement. I’m hyper aware of the void between us. When I finally open my eyes, his face appears stoic. His breathing becomes so still, it feels lifeless. It’s as though my rejection has chipped away the lining of his cavalier demeanor.
“I’ve got to go to the bathroom.” He turns, fading away into the crowd like vapor.
What the hell? Shaking my head in disbelief I down my cocktail and in a haze find my way back to the bar. My feelings are a mess. Now standing at the bar in the lounge, I feel confused more than anything. My legs feel like they will give out under the weight I’m holding in my heart. I see an open bar stool and place my fragile body on it.
My emotions are playing tricks on me. I feel so alone; so incredibly desolate with his absence. I know he didn’t really leave me, but even his small dismissal of me hurts me so much worse than all the indifference spewed at me from my actual partner. I’m spiraling out of control. These feelings are so foreign to me. I’ve no idea what is wrong with me. I feel like I’ve nothing left to give; the idea of going home to Alexandre makes me feel ill. I order another glass of champagne and attempt to drown all the fears and feelings of loss. A few minutes pass, and as I sip the last of my champagne, I hear that gravelly voice behind me.
“You’re intoxicating.”
“What do you want from me?”
“Everything.”
I turn my head around to look at him, and he leans in to whisper in my ear, “God I need to have you. But,” he draws out the words as he speaks them, “I’m not going to kiss you. Not until you can be mine."
“Please,” I beg, pressing my chest into the back of the chair to get closer to him. I know I can’t do this, but I can’t seem to get my words to match my thoughts. My body is moving of its own accord. I’m losing control at a rapid speed. My nails dig into my thighs as he stares into the depths of my soul, seeking out the answer.
He seems to be fighting a losing battle with himself. Suddenly he steps in front of me and parts my legs, stepping in between them. His body presses against mine as I sit on the barstool. I can feel him against my core. My breathing grows frantic and choppy. I try to shake off the unbearable want. His mouth nearly descends onto mine but thankfully that is when the fog finally lifts from my eyes, and I whisper, “Stop.” I say it so softly, I’m not sure if I even want him to hear. I’m not sure if I even mean it.
My body is shaking with need, but I know I can’t cross this line. His breath is heavy as his hands grip my hips so tightly. He is still pressed against me. I can feel how turned on he is through my dress.
His hands run up my body until they loosely grab my throat.
He tightens the hold, “God Ava, you make me crazy, I fucking need you. I can promise you…soon. Now go home to him, and think of my lips, think of my voice, remember my touch, because next time we see each other, this is going to happen.”
He shakes his head, righting himself, and removes his hand from my neck. His fingers interlock with mine as he leads me out through the lobby. We step out onto 55th Street. A chill hangs in the air. A shiver runs down my body, and I feel his hand grip mine tighter. Gently dropping my hand, Ryder walks out into the street and hails me a cab. Once the car stops at the curb, I walk up to him. Biting my lip, my eyes half mast, I lean forward onto my tip toes and place a gentle kiss on his cheek. He turns ever so slightly, and my lips graze his. They are everything I imagine them to be. Soft and delicious. I want to be greedy, I want to grab him and pull him into me, but I don’t, I can’t. Not here and not like this.