Ryder Matthews: How are you?
Ava Readsalot: I’m okay.
Ryder Matthews: Just okay?
Ava Readsalot: Yeah, ok.
Ryder Matthews: How about now that you’re talking to me? Are you…better?
Ava Readsalot: Much better.
Ryder Matthews: Good, that’s what I wanted to hear.
I laugh at the exchange. Although nothing of importance is said, so much is implied. So much is spoken without words.
Ryder Matthews: Did you have fun tonight?
Ava Readsalot: No. Not really. You?
Ryder Matthews: Not particularly. But it’s the nature of the beast.
Ryder Matthews: You looked radiant tonight.
Ava Readsalot: Thanks, I needed that.
Ryder Matthews: It’s the truth, and my pleasure to tell you.
Uncontrollable warmth flushes across my face. This is exactly what I was looking for. This is the reason I engage him.
Ryder Matthews: So any big plans this weekend?
Ava Readsalot: No…No plans at all. You?
Ryder Matthews: Nope, I was thinking drinks this week at the Peninsula?
Ava Readsalot: I would love that :-)
Ava Readsalot: What night works for you?
Ryder Matthews: Tomorrow, lol. No, seriously, what works for you?
Ava Readsalot: Honestly, as pathetic as it sounds, I have no plans tomorrow. If you want to meet for a drink, I’m sure I can.
Ryder Matthews: No plans with the hubby?
Ava Readsalot: Who? lol…um, NO.
Ryder Matthews: You deserve nothing less than extraordinary, Ava
Ava Readsalot: I don’t even know what to say…thank you.
Ryder Matthews: You’re welcome, Ava.
Ava Readsalot: Okay, I’m going to go to bed. See you tomorrow.
Ryder Matthews: Sounds like a plan, beautiful.
Knowing Ryder thinks I’m beautiful, makes me feel beautiful.
I continue to stare at the computer for a minute smiling to myself.
Enamored.
Meeting this man in person is like a light switching on. Denying the attraction is no longer an option.
MY EYES FLUTTER open the next morning. As my arms stretch above my head, I see Alexandre. When the hell did he get into bed? He’s on one side of the king-sized mattress, I’m on the other. As close as we are…a world separates us.
My stomach rolls with disgust as last night flashes thought my conscience.
I had been rustled awake last night when Alexandre drunkenly gets into bed. I glanced over to my night stand. 4 am…Are you kidding me? My eyes fluttered closed. I was too tired to yell at him.
I feel something slobbery against my head.
My nose scrunches at the stench.
His drunken breath reeks of booze. He kisses the side of my forehead. “Love you,” he mumbles.
“You’re drunk? Where were you?”
“Drinking,” he slurs.
“What the hell? You don’t even drink. I don’t understand? Where were you?”
“What?”
“Were you with her?”
“With who?” he grunts in his alcoholic stupor. Hearing his slurred words infuriates me. I don’t even try to mask my contempt.
“You're kidding, right? Natasha. Were. You. With. Natasha?” Words fall out of my mouth like a levee has burst, flooding the room with hatred and disdain.
“You know what?” He stumbles out of bed.
“No. What, Alexandre? What intelligent comment do you have for me? Oh wait, can you even form a sentence?” Bile forms in my mouth. I swallow hard, forcing my stomach to not turn. He starts for the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m, I goingtowater.” His words slur again as he starts to walk away.
“Was that even English?”
He thinks for a minute and I wait, wait for him to gather his thoughts to be able to form a sentence.
“Yea.” The door slams behind him.
I lay in bed, motionless, waiting for him to return, but he never does.
Defeated.
My body convulses as I sob.
Thinking back to last night brings back all the anger I was harboring inside me…
Maybe I should work out. Maybe that will help my mood. Doubt it, but I’m seeing Ryder later…yeah I need to decompress. I open the door that leads to the bathroom and make my way to the counter. Leaning over the marble, and losing myself in my reflection for a second. I think God, I look awful. My finger reaches out and turns the water on. I immerse my hands in the stream that flows from the faucet. Lukewarm water collects in my hands, and I bring it up to my eyes, washing away the sleep and tears. Forgoing my typical makeup, I grab my toothbrush and swirl on a little mint tooth paste and rid myself of the left over cocktails still on my taste buds from last night. Last night? I wonder where Alexandre was so late? He was probably with Natasha. He never did tell me.
Natasha.
The name filters through my brain with disdain.
Were they ever more than friends?