“No. I’ll stay.”
“You look like hell. When was the last time you slept for more than a couple of hours?”
He shrugged.
“I’m going out of town tomorrow. Something I canna get out of. Be gone about a week or two.”
“Weyland got a job for you?”
“Aye.”
Court thought Hugh was an intelligent and brave man, but he must be one of those poor bastards who liked to be tortured. How else could he continue to work with Jane’s father, continually hearing details about her life?
He rose and gave Court another slap on the shoulder. “I doona have anything to worry about here?”
“No’ at all,” Court lied, impressed by how convincing he sounded.
Yet it should be true—after all, he was supposed to be strong-willed. So much so that not ten minutes after Hugh left, Court opened her door. Just to check on her….
The hinge creaked.
“MacCarrick?” she whispered.
“Aye, it’s me.”
He heard her breathe a sigh of relief and his brows drew together. “Did you fear it’d be someone else?”
“No.”
“Did you need something?”
“You.”
“Besides me.”
“Then nothing.”
He gritted his teeth.
“I had the most awful nightmare.” She was shivering. She’d never had nightmares when he’d stayed with her in the past.
“It’s over now,” he said, as he retrieved another blanket. At the side of her bed, he shook it open to fall over her, then pulled it to her chin.
When he turned to go, she caught his hand. “Courtland…”
He said nothing. Just stood, tensed.
She used his hand to pull herself to her knees at the edge of the bed. “Don’t leave yet. Even if you don’t want to touch me, I still don’t want you to leave.”
He was stunned when she pressed her face to his callused palm, showing him tenderness. “Woman, do you think I doona want to touch you?” He lowered his voice and admitted, “I crave it.”
“Then why?”
“Because it will no’ only be touching the next time.” He wanted her, wanted the pleasure they would have, but the urge to take her, to make her his, was overwhelming. “I’ll be just outside.” The door represented a barrier. Outside he couldn’t hear her soft breaths.
“Or you could sit there.” She pointed to a chair that he could’ve sworn was closer to the bed than it had been before.
“I canna. I’m no’ as strong as I’d like to be—”
“Yes, you are,” she quickly interrupted, gazing up at him. “You are very strong. And brave.”
Her comment made him frown. “I’m wantin’ you all the time, and sooner or later I will no’ be able to resist. Then there will be consequences.”
“Yes, very well.”
“Are you feelin’ poorly?”
“No, I feel much better now. Ignore the chair, come to bed with me.”
“Anna, do you no’ ken what I’m saying? I’m no’ the man for you. I doona have near the wealth you’re used to.” Nor the ability to afford his growing addiction to give her everything she wanted.
“I have my own fortune.”
“Are you tryin’ to insult me?”
She looked down, clearly embarrassed, and he regretted his tone. “I will no’ ever be the Castilian gentleman you want. I will always be the rough Scot you think me.”
“I want you.”
“Why do you continue to argue when you ken what will have to happen if I bed you?” he asked in a deadened tone, struggling to understand her behavior. Then realization came. “You think you can talk me from it. You think we can enjoy ourselves and then you’ll be able to walk away. It might have been like that before, but it is no’ anymore. You’d be forced to marry me.”
“Why do you think I want you in the bed?” she said in exasperation.
His jaw went slack. “Are you sayin’ you want tae marry me?”
She glanced down and nodded shyly. Marry him? His heart was hammering in his chest. “You would no’ like being with me. You’d have to live in Scotland among strangers with strange ways.” The gulf between their nationalities was daunting. His grandmother had been English and her ways had been infused in their family, but Annalía was far from English.
He loved the difference. He was charmed by her manners and captivated by the way she spoke, but he didn’t know if she’d like how foreign Scotland would be for her. He didn’t know how the Highlands would treat a vivid Castilian—who delighted in mocking a Scots accent—in return.