If You Dare(68)

Out of the corner of her eye, the sun was setting brilliantly, the waves meeting it ablaze with color.

And she felt none of the excitement she’d thought she would when she’d envisioned this day again and again.

The driver, inexplicably protective of her when he should be running away from a passenger who’d been ambushed and then abandoned, secured a room at a well-appointed inn directly on a cliff overlooking the sea. He even had a fine meal of fish brought up to her, but she could never eat when nervous. Instead, she stood on her balcony watching the lighthouse in England bandy with the French one on the next cliff up, their lights over the water like chalk on slate.

But where was he? She turned from the scene and paced until she thought she might drop. Why hadn’t he arrived yet? She knew the most probable answer and refused it. Refused the deadening in her heart, realizing she’d never be the same if he died.

Annalía had hated her mother most of her life for her adultery, for throwing everything away for passion. Before MacCarrick, she hadn’t understood how anyone could give up so much, but now she knew the feelings that could drive a person to risk it all. She’d give up everything she had to have him back, safe.

Her brows drew together in anguish. Though the night was slow to pass, the sun was rising. And he still was missing. What if he was hurt on the road somewhere? Oh God, what if he was lying in a ditch?

She’d go right back the way they came and retrace their steps. She’d browbeat Coachy if she had to, but she was going back.

Resolved, she yanked open the door. A dark figure stood just outside, and she nearly screamed in fright. “MacCarrick!” He looked more exhausted than she’d ever seen him.

He shoved her in, then slammed the door behind them. Without a word, he ran his hands forcefully over her, looking her up and down for injuries, then stumbled away. She knew he hadn’t slept since he’d left her, and her heart constricted when she realized he’d returned to her as quickly as he was able.

Still… “You Highland bastard! Don’t you ever, ever do that again. Don’t you dare leave me!”

He stood his rifle against the wall. Before it had been shining and new. Now it was scratched all over, coated in mud, the handle dented. What had he gone through out there?

He sarcastically mumbled, “I’m alive and well.” He lifted a ponderous chair like it was weightless, then wedged it against the door. “Doona worry yourself.”

She watched in dismay as he lurched to the pitcher to guzzle water.

“I’ve been worried. I didn’t know if you’d return.”

Running his sleeve over his mouth, he turned. His expression revealed obvious irritation. “Have a feelin’ you’d be fine without me.”

“Likely! But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you!”

He frowned as if her words had just stunned him, confused him. He stumbled again as he drew his pistol from his trouser waist and placed it on the table beside the bed. “Canna talk. Need tae sleep, woman. Doona leave this room or I’ll make you regret it.”

He fell to the bed, flat on his face, and passed out at once.

Her eyes widened, and she leapt forward to turn his head so he could breathe. Clearly he needed someone to care for him now. She discarded her shoes and sat, knees to her chest, beside him. The simple act of watching him sleep made the new feelings she’d experienced earlier return multiplied.

She reached toward him and smoothed his hair from his forehead. With a pang, she watched his brows draw together as if he was unused to the touch. Was he?

Of all the women he’d admitted to seducing, did none of them touch him tenderly afterward? She would when she made love to him.

Well! She hadn’t realized part of her had had this discussion, much less that she’d decided. Even so, she believed it was a good decision, especially considering the three attacks on her life that would surely be followed by more. She refused to die with regrets. Now that she had a hint, a taste of what it would be like to make love to Courtland MacCarrick, she wanted it all.

After hours of trying to imagine making love to him, her eyes finally slid closed one too many times.

Near nightfall, she woke, still half asleep, remaining in position until she toppled to her side still in a ball. She could have sworn she heard him chuckle from across the room.

She cracked open her eyes and found him with his hair wet, drying off his very naked body beside a tub. He’d lit only one lamp, probably to let her sleep, but she could see his sculpted muscles tensing and flexing as he took the towel and ran it over his neck, chest, and privates. Continuing to feign sleep, she studied him through her eyelashes, until, to her great disappointment, he finally pulled on his trousers.