“I have student loans I need to pay back. I’ve been sending my mom as much money as I can, after I pay rent and tuition and books. But I can do it.”
“That’s why you work two jobs. And keep modeling even though you don’t really like it.”
“Yes.”
“What about your dad?”
“He had nothing but debts when he went to prison. I imagine he still has nothing. But that’s his problem. He’ll have to figure out how to support himself, and like I said, so will my mom. I can’t keep doing it.”
“I love you for what you’ve done for your mom. For looking after her. But you’re right, baby. You can’t do that anymore. And you can’t do it for both of them.” He paused. “I can help, though.”
“No.” She pushed away and stared at him. “I know my mom didn’t want to hear it, but I told her, anyway—I don’t want to be like her. I don’t want to rely on a man who’s going to let me down.”
He frowned. “I’m not going to let you down. I love you.”
“I know.” She closed her eyes. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
He gently pushed her to her back and rolled over her. He met her eyes. “You know I’m never going to do things like your dad did, right?” He searched her eyes with his. “I’m not going to cheat on you. I don’t do drugs. I’ve had good money advice from my parents and I’d be okay for the rest of my life even if my career ended tomorrow. I don’t live a crazy, lavish lifestyle like I’m guessing you did as a kid.”
She swallowed, blinking at him. “I know.”
“You asked if I believe that you weren’t interested in me for my money. And I do. I trust you, Amber. I’m sorry I doubted you when your mom said that. I am so fucking sorry.” He kissed her mouth. “It was my own stupid hang-ups that were getting in my head, telling me no woman would love me for myself.”
“Oh my God.” Her eyes went glossy. She touched his face. “Don’t say that. That is so ridiculous. I love you so much. You’re a good man. You’re honest and responsible and hardworking. You’re loyal to your team and your friends and your family. I know I judged you unfairly at first, but it didn’t take long for me to see how generous and strong and…amazing you are.” A tear leaked out of her eye and slid over one high cheekbone.
“Shhh. Don’t cry.” He thumbed away the tear. “Thank you. It means a lot to hear that. And I judged you unfairly too. I’m sorry. I’ll grovel for the rest of my life.”
A smile flickered on her lips. “I like your groveling.”
They shared a warm, intimate smile.
“I know you’re not like my dad.” Her smile faded. “But I still don’t want to be like my mom. She never worked outside the home, which is fine. My dad was for sure able to support her and me when he was playing football. But when things started going wrong, she had nothing to fall back on. I know you won’t do that to me, but I want to know that if anything ever did happen, I would be okay. I can look after myself.”
Frustration created a pressure in his chest. “I know that. But I want to look after you.”
Again, she stroked his cheek. “Okay. I want that too.”
“Really?”
“Despite her failings, my mom actually said something pretty wise to me before she left. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”
“What’s that?”
“She told me that being independent and not relying on a man is admirable, but letting that stop me from loving someone or having a relationship is actually cowardly.”
“Huh.” He pursed his lips, watching her face. “That’s true.”
“And she said that has nothing to do with how much money someone has.”
He tipped his head. “Also true. Wow.”
“So I realized I really was afraid. Afraid of being let down, like my dad did. Afraid of letting myself get pulled into that kind of lifestyle and then having it all yanked away again. And I realized that I was being stupid and cowardly by not admitting I loved you. And you can look after me in so many ways. But I can still be independent.”
He nodded. “And I’ll love you and admire you for that. And maybe sometimes you can take care of me.”
She narrowed her eyes, but her lips twitched. “That sounds sexual.”
He made his expression innocent. “Baby, you have got to get your mind out of the gutter.” Then he couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his lips. “Okay, it might have been a little sexual.” He touched his lips to hers. “We’ll talk more about the money. I don’t want you crushed under a load of debts.”