After a sleepless night on the couch, Amber dug deep for enough mental toughness to have the conversation she and her mother needed to have.
“I can’t do this anymore, Mom.” She set two mugs of coffee on the table. “You need to start taking responsibility for your own life.”
“What do you mean? Do what?”
“I can’t keep sending you money and paying off your credit cards.”
“But you’re almost done with college now. You have a full-time job lined up.”
“Yes. But I have student loans to pay off. I have to buy a new car.”
Mom made a disgusted little noise at that. Amber ignored it.
“At some point I’ll need to find my own apartment. That won’t be cheap.”
“Amber! Listen to yourself. Duncan can give you all of that.”
“No, Mom. I don’t want that. I don’t want to depend on a man for everything. And then…end up…” She choked on the words. “I don’t want to end up like you.”
Mom stared at her with hurt eyes. Then she swallowed. “I understand.” She pushed back her chair. “I’ll go finish packing.”
Amber closed her eyes, her mouth trembling. Was she being a bitch to her own mother, refusing to help her? Or was she really helping her in a different way? Her mother was forty-five years old. Surely she could figure out how to look after herself. But if she hadn’t by now, would she ever? Worst case scenarios materialized in Amber’s imagination. Could she really turn her back on her mother if things got that bad? She wasn’t sure. But she had a feeling that becoming the strong, independent woman she wanted to be wasn’t going to happen until she dealt with this and stopped letting her mom use her.
She drove her mother to the airport in strained silence. Dammit, Duncan was still paying for this rental car and she needed to return that too. She would become intimately familiar with public transportation.
They said goodbye at security with tense hugs. Then Mom said stiffly, “I’m sorry to have been a burden on you the last few years.”
Guilt smacked her in the face. “Mom, I love you.”
Mom sniffed. “I love you too.”
Was this manipulation? Intended to make her feel guilty and cave? Or was she sincere?
“Bye, honey. Good luck with your new job. And with Duncan.”
“Mom—”
“I know, I know, you think things are over between you. You don’t think I could see how upset you are by that?”
Amber blinked.
“You looked heartbroken, honey. I just hope you’re not giving up on him because you’re too stubbornly independent to realize that you actually love him. Because independence and not relying on a man are admirable qualities, but being too afraid to love someone or have a relationship with them is just…cowardly. And that has nothing to do with how much money he has.”
Mom turned and walked into the lineup for security.
Amber stared after her. What the…What?
Cowardly?
Mom was already putting her things into a plastic bin on the conveyor belt. It was too late to run after her. Still, Amber stood there, not moving, until Mom disappeared. She turned and made her way out of the terminal.
She was not a coward.
Mom was just upset about their earlier discussion. She was not a coward. And she was never going to become her mother.
—
“What? You’re not coming?” Lovey looked askance at Duncan. “Why not?”
“Don’t feel like it.”
Lovey and Marc were going to meet a bunch of others at the Sin Bin Sunday night.
Her eyes narrowed. “What’s going on with you? Why are you such a grouch?”
“Fuck off, I’m not a grouch.” He flipped a page of The Hockey News magazine he was reading, stretched out on his back on the couch.
“No, no, not at all.” Her sarcastic tone came through loud and clear. “Where’s Amber tonight? Working?”
“No idea.”
“What? Oh no. No, no, no. What did you do?”
He scowled. “What the hell does that mean? I didn’t do anything.”
“Why don’t you know where she is tonight?” She stomped over and plopped down on the couch near his feet.
He sighed. “We kind of, ah, had a fight.”
Her eyes widened. “Did she break up with you?”
“Not exactly. But…”
“What? Come on, Dunc, talk to me.”
“I might’ve screwed up. Again.”
“How so?”
Fuck. Like he wanted to admit this out loud. “Turns out Amber may have some financial difficulties. Apparently she was looking for a rich boyfriend.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Lovey didn’t even pause to think about that. “That’s ridiculous.”