His arms tightened around her and now emotion rose up into her throat. She swallowed it down.
“He was larger than life, a big, strong man who everyone idolized, including me. A football hero. A Super Bowl champion. But he was going deeper and deeper into debt. And doing even worse things. I didn’t know a lot of it while I was little, but I found out more shit that was going on when I was older. Like the time he crashed his Porsche driving drunk, after a bachelor party for one of the guys on the team. And that he’d been arrested for sexually harassing a woman who worked for the team.”
“Jesus. Who’s your dad?” Duncan demanded roughly.
“Deke Johnson.”
Duncan was silent, and then he said, “Holy fuck.”
She sighed against him. “Yeah. I know.”
“Is he still in jail?”
“Yes. He’s getting out…like, now. My mom let me know a couple weeks ago. So you’ve heard of him.”
“Uh yeah. He was a fucking amazing receiver.”
“I know.” She gave a sad smile. “Such a waste, right? Drugs and alcohol and…I don’t know, greed or stupidity…He just lost control of his life. When I was sixteen…” She paused and exhaled sharply. This part was awful. “When I was sixteen I—I saw him and our housekeeper, um…”
“Oh Christ.”
“Yeah. She was on her knees in front of him and, well…”
“I get it,” he said roughly.
“Yeah. Apparently this had been going on for some time. I can’t even tell you how sick I felt. They didn’t see me, and I ran upstairs and hid in my bedroom. I never wanted to come out. I couldn’t believe my dad was doing that…and my poor mom. I don’t know if she knew or suspected.”
Amber didn’t tell him everything about how she’d felt. It had been sickening and horrifying, but she’d also felt so incredibly betrayed. The man she’d grown up idolizing was a cheater. She’d been traumatized by that, for months unable to concentrate, going into a shell. She’d tried to act normal around her parents with that disgusting secret eating away at her, looking at her father differently, avoiding him whenever she could.
“But when our housekeeper sued Dad for sexual harassment a year or so later, she knew and so did the whole world.”
“Christ.”
“Mom filed for divorce and we left him. He declared bankruptcy. Mom kind of had a meltdown. Neither of them had any money. So things were…tough. Not to mention humiliating. It was all very public.”
“No shit. I do remember hearing about that. I was only a kid myself when he played, but it was big news in the sports world. I just hadn’t thought about it in a while and would never have connected the two of you.”
“It was big news everywhere. Reporters were stalking us for weeks.” She rubbed a shaky hand over his shoulder. “I don’t tell anyone who my dad is. Luckily ‘Johnson’ is a common enough name that people don’t realize. I got out of L.A. as soon as I could, but for a few years I had to look after my mom. She basically fell apart when that all went down.”
“Fuck, Amber.”
“Don’t. Just listen. I’m telling you why I am the way I am, not asking for sympathy or…anything. Okay?”
“Okay.” His voice was gruff.
“So, you know all the embarrassing stuff he did after that. Charged with bankruptcy fraud because he tried to hide assets. Namely, his Super Bowl rings. He…God, some of this is embarrassing…he hired, er, escorts, and tried to pay them with bad checks. Then he was charged with…Crap, I don’t know how many things—grand theft auto, filing false financial statements, possession of ecstasy, cocaine, human growth hormone.”
Duncan growled.
“He pled guilty to some of the charges so the drug possession ones would be dropped, and he ended up in jail for three years.” She hitched a shoulder. “So that’s my story.” She lifted her head. “Please don’t tell anyone who my dad is.”
“I won’t say a word,” he promised. “But even if people know…it was him who fucked up, Amber. Not you.”
“I know. But it’s still humiliating. That he did those awful things…”
Duncan was silent for a few long moments, no doubt thinking about what she’d just told him. Did he think less of her, knowing her ugly past? Was he having second thoughts about being involved with her, now that he knew about her father? She started to tense up. “Duncan…”
“Shush.” He molded his hand to the small of her back and pulled her tighter against him. “It’s okay. It’s just…some things make sense now. A lot of things.” They both went silent.