I lift my head, wishing she would walk back in and stay here, letting me hold her all night. I may like control and rough, raw, gritty sex, but I'm not an asshole when it comes to the wants of a woman. Especially one like her. Her exterior shows complete hardness, but I know inside she's vulnerable. She has to hide that though; hell, we all do when we enter a place like this.
This is no place for the weak, and she sure as fuck is strong. But my beautiful Jade is soft, I can see it in her eyes and in the way she looks at me. She needs me to hold her and to tell her things that only a man would tell a woman he cares about. I'll tell her, it's breaking down those heavy walls she has up about me that will be the hard part.
She thinks all I want is to fuck her. She couldn't be more wrong. I'm way ahead of her in the caring department. I've never wanted to have a woman so bad in my life. Not until I laid my eyes on her, and I sure as fuck never wanted a woman to own me like she quickly has. When we're out of here and back on the soil of the free, I plan to show her that's exactly what we can be.
We can be free. Free to explore whatever is happening between us. Because, whether Captain Jade Elliott will admit it or not, there is definitely more to us than just sex.
"Good morning, Sir." Major Roberts walks into my office.
"Morning, Major." I gesture with my hand for him to take a seat in one of the chairs opposite of me.
"The chopper will be here at 02:00, Sir. They want us in and out and back by 06:00." Son of a bitch. I move quickly from my chair and grab the papers out of his hand. Scanning them over at first, I see everything seems to be in order. Then I take the time to read every word carefully. "This is it. Let's go through one more briefing with the team and make sure everyone is on the same page here." Roberts stands, spins on his boots to leave, and I sink back onto my desk when he's out of sight.
The adrenaline starts pumping through my veins. The anticipation of killing this fucker who thinks he can take out innocent women and children in his own damn country fuels me. Killing American soldiers and retaliating against our Army. I'm here to kill and to honor my fellow Americans. To first and foremost protect my country. My team and I will succeed in this mission, and the world will be a much safer place because of it.
"Motherfucker." I take off my sweat-soaked shirt, tossing the bitch in the corner of my office. Training was easy. Everyone knows what their responsibility is, right down to the two-man medical team. Aim and shoot anyone who stands in our way of killing the man we came here to kill.
What's really got my ass riled up is her. Jade. She wouldn't look at me all goddamn day. Nothing, not even when I addressed each one of them individually, making them all repeat what is expected of them and for two of them to stay together at all times.
I stared her down when I spoke to her. Telling her if she has the shot if we draw him out, she better fucking take it. She addressed me appropriately in front of her teammates with her answer, but fuck me. I need to see her up close when she talks to me. I need to taste her lips on mine one more time before we go. "Fuck." I grab a clean shirt, pulling it over my head as I walk out the door.
"Sir." I exhale, acknowledging both men on my medical team with a nod. They, too, are trained to kill.
I hold back my anger as I continue walking the small compound, looking for her. My eyes scan everywhere, from the tiny tent we eat under to hers. Where in the hell is she?
The sun is setting deep in the desert. Soon we'll be going from closing out one day and right into the next. The day we've prepared for. The day that will forever be engrained into our memories as one of the craziest times of our lives. When our lives were in danger and we were on a mission to kill anything that moves.
I finally see her. She's standing off to the side of my tent. Our eyes lock. This shit is forbidden out here. It's dangerous for me to keep my observance of her, exploiting what I desperately want to say. I know the look on my face will give away the desperation I'm feeling inside.
She drags her gaze away first and tucks her blond hair under her hat, disregarding me as if I never existed. I watch closely as she makes her way to JJ, tucking herself close to his side. I lose sight of her when they enter the equipment area... The one that I fucked her in last night.
It kills me more than I care to admit that he's the one with her right now instead of me. He'll be with her on top of that roof, guarding her back the same way she'll be guarding his. He's a good man and a dedicated soldier, not only to this country, but to his wife and children as well. "Take care of her JJ, I need her," I whisper to myself.
"You worried about her?" Roberts comes up behind me. I scoff at the absurdity of his question. That woman has more balls than most men I've met.
"Not at all. She's more put together than the rest of us. She can handle this." Speaking the damn truth, I know Jade can handle it. It's my damn feelings for her that need to be handled before I fuck this shit all up. A mind must be clear during a mission. A single hesitation could cost a life, so I need to get my shit in check quickly.
I need to focus on being an expert, as well as the leader of this team for the next few hours, while we compile our gear. Then tear down what we can to help the cleaners who will come in the minute we leave and demolish this small camp like it never existed. All teams leave out today. Not a damn thing will be left behind, only memories.
Memories should be left behind here in this mass destruction, this place called hell. Mine will exist.
With determination, I enter my office to send one last email to Colonel Wright, who I will report back to the minute we land in the United States.
Closing my laptop, I tuck it safely into my duffle bag that will await me at the airport in Dubai. I stand, roam to my small cot, and sit on the edge to set my alarm on my watch, knowing damn well I won't sleep. Not out of fear for our mission. I'm fearful of her and of what the fuck will become of us after we're all debriefed and go our separate ways.
Will she act as if I never existed, the same way she did the entire night we tore shit down? Or will she want to exist in my world and get to know me? Will she want me the same way I want her? What she fails to know about me is, I'm not a man to give up on the things I want; and I want her. Not just her body, but her soul and her heart.
As I lay my head on my pillow, I close my eyes. I don't sleep. I'm ready for this mission. I'm focused. I have to be. I have men to protect. A woman to protect. "I will own you, Jade. You will become mine." Those are the last words I speak before I succumb to the sleep I didn't think I would get.
The distinctive sound of the MH-60 Black Hawk Helicopter approaching rings in our ears. Everyone is geared up and dressed in darkness with our backpacks attached. Each one of us carries several rifles and pistol mags, a radio, and hydration reservoirs. Watching everyone with special ops helmets in hand, I stand secure, knowing they're designed to stop a round from a pistol busting open a skull. These helmets are lightweight but carry the necessities needed to guide us through the dark. Flashlights, cameras, ear and microphone pieces all in place and tested repeatedly. All exposed skin painted, making us inconspicuous to the enemy. We are fucking ready.
No one speaks as we watch the helicopter land; instead we're running toward it. The high-pitched whirl of the engine and the blades strum over the loud beating of our pounding chests.
"Let's do this. In and out. I don't give two fucks who kills that bastard as long as the proof is recorded. I also don't give a shit who you take down to get to him. Do I make myself clear?" I yell over the top of the roaring engines as we lift off of the ground. My eyes are trained on Jade, who looks straight ahead, still not meeting my eyes. I need to drive my point deep into them all.
My meaning is really meant for her more than anyone else. I've kept this to myself until now, but I saw the way she looked at the women and children during our briefing a few days ago. She stayed tight-lipped, like she should. But her eyes gave her away, showing a flicker of sadness. Grief before we even strike. It's a sore spot with most soldiers. It's one thing to kill the enemy, but when the enemy is a child or a woman, it's a hard pill to swallow.
Every facet of flying at night is unlike flying in the clear gleam of the day. Pitch black awaits you; the only lights you see are the red panels lit up from the cockpit, illuminating the determination of the pilot. Silence awaits. Blood begins to boil in anticipation, and I start to remember why I craved this kind of shit for so long in my career.