I'm Only Here for the Beard (The Dixie Wardens Rejects MC #4)(42)

My heart started to pound at his words, and it took everything I had not to shout in denial.

I was lying to myself.

I didn't want him to leave. Not even a little bit.

But my mouth wasn't linked to my brain, and I spouted off when I was nervous.

"I don't want you here," I repeated.

His eyes locked on me, studying my face, and he grinned.

"That 'come hither' look you have going on is enough to make me call bullshit," he informed me, his hand moving up to cup my jaw.

Such a gentle touch from such a large man had my head whirling. He didn't look like he'd be capable of such tenderness.



       
         
       
        

"I don't know what look you're speaking of," I lied. "And you should really be ashamed of yourself, leaving my window open. My mother would curse you if she saw."

His eyes went to the window, which was still wide open, and he dropped his hand.

My heart started to twist as I thought he was leaving, but he did nothing more than pull the lower panes down and twist the lock above it before turning to look at me.

"I missed you. And I'm an asshole," he announced simply.

My shoulders slumped. He had given me the opening that I needed to apologize in person.

"I'm an asshole, too," I said. "I wanted you to be there, but I didn't want to come off as that needy girl that you just met. I didn't want you to feel sorry for me, either."

He sighed, then surprised me by removing his shirt.

When he started on his belt buckle, my heart started to untwist as blood started to pump through it.

Although I couldn't see him perfectly, my mind went back to the time when I could see him perfectly. His abs, his large bulging biceps. His strong jaw, and tapered waist.

Those large hands that did nothing but sweet things to my body.

And then there was his mouth.

That sweet, delicious mouth.





Chapter 14


Sean: Am I adopted?

Dad: Not yet. I haven't found anyone who's willing to take you.

-Text from Sean to Big Papa

Sean

I wrapped my arms around her back and pulled her in tight to my chest.

With her tiny body pressed against mine, I had the distinct impression that she was still reluctant for me to be there.

"I'm sorry."

The words weren't enough. I knew that.

I'd taken the hurt I'd felt when she'd left me in the dark for a week, and nursed it until it was unhealthy. I'd taken it out on her and repeatedly punished her for making the decision not to include me in her life.

I had no right to do that.

All I could say at this point was that I was sorry. That I wouldn't be that dumbass guy anymore.

She dropped her head until it rested on my sternum, nestled between the hard wall of my pecs.

"I was a dumbass. I was hurt, and I overreacted. I should've just spoken with you, but instead of doing that, I punished us both when I didn't need to."

Her hand rose up, starting around my waist, and slowly moving in an upward motion along the line of my side. My ribs. My armpit, around my shoulder, then stopping just below my clavicle. 

"I wanted to call you," she whispered.

My eyes closed.

"I wanted you to call me, too."

"I was afraid that by asking you to come, you'd feel obligated, and I wasn't sure we were at that point in our relationship yet."

I growled in frustration, wrapping my arms around her and holding on tight for a few long seconds.

"How about we both stop assuming what the other one is feeling or wants out of the relationship, and we just go from there?" I offered. "Start letting each other think for themselves."

Her hand slid back down my side, then in and across my belly as she moved it to trail her fingers through the line of hair that led down the center of my abdomen.

I caught her hand. It was like ice in my palm.

"Naomi," I tried to pull away, putting a little distance in between us as I spoke. "I'm in a real tight place right now," I informed her, stepping back one more step. "I'm on the edge, and I don't want to make this any more complicated. Plus, you just had surgery … "

"Four weeks ago," she supplied. "I'm not hurt. I'm not delicate. And honestly, I'm fucking horny. You've done nothing but tease me with your hot, sweaty body for weeks. You're here, I want you here, and I want you. There's nothing else to say to that."

There really wasn't.

If she was being honest, then it was time for me to be honest, too.

"I would want nothing more than to fuck you right now," I started. "But you make me lose my mind. I'm in a place that's not my own, and I'm not even sure I'm welcome here at this point since I'm sure you shared with your entire family, and all of your friends, the reason for your impromptu visit."