Tonio wasn’t going to stop until he found out the truth. There was no point trying to be around Maria. The one woman he’d ever loved didn’t want anything to do with him, and he wasn’t going to force her to see him. Luiz didn’t know about what they’d done together. She was his first and only love. His father had known, and set out to destroy what little happiness he had.
Running a hand down his face, he tried to clear his thoughts.
Maria was not his problem. She was pregnant with another man’s child, another man whom Luiz had also killed.
There had been a lot of killing in the last couple of months, and it all started with their fathers. The Family had many enemies, but they were all working together to create a better world.
The very thought was laughable.
The Family being better, it was stupid for them to even try.
Donnie knew what he was doing. They all held their places in this newfound leadership.
Tapping his fingers on the keyboard, Tonio kept going through each mail in the search of the files, the hard copies of the videos that showed the monster inside of him.
Still nothing.
His father had always promised him that if he went down, he’d take Tonio with him.
“I guess I’m fucked then.”
Tonio jumped as his cell phone started ringing.
Blowing out a breath, he answered.
“Tonio here.”
“It’s Donnie.”
Glancing at the clock, he saw it was a little after three. “Shouldn’t you be with Paige?”
“I am with Paige. We’re in the hospital.”
“What are you doing in the hospital?”
Paige was expecting their first baby. They were only eighteen, like Tonio, but Donnie was absolutely devoted to her.
They were young, but they were all fucking monsters. Each of them had been initiated into The Family at a young age. They were all young in body, but in the mind, they were much, much older.
“Maria’s dead, Tonio.”
“What the fuck?” Tonio asked, unable to breathe. He stood up, the chair clattering back onto the floor as he did so. Leaning forward, he gripped the table.
Donnie was talking, and he couldn’t make out any words. It wasn’t possible. No, Maria couldn’t be dead. They had saved her. She was alive, and pregnant.
“Tonio?”
“What? How?”
“Didn’t you hear me? She killed herself. Luiz found her by a bottle of pills and vodka. He drove her to the hospital, but she didn’t make it.”
“The baby?”
“No, I’m sorry.”
“I’ll be there soon.”
Closing the phone, Tonio let it drop to the floor. Gripping the edge of the table, He counted to ten, trying to make sense of the shit that had just been said.
Maria was dead.
Her baby was dead.
Everything he cared about, everyone he loved, was dead.
Lifting the table with the laptop, he threw it against the far wall, watching it splinter apart. The destruction wasn’t enough.
He reached for whatever was closest and started to tear apart his apartment. Tonio had been baby proofing it in the hope that one day Maria would remember the love they had once shared.
All of it was gone.
Grabbing the fridge in the kitchen, he tugged, toppling it over. Around his apartment, he destroyed everything in his wake until there was nothing left. Once he was finished, he stared around him, and went to his bedroom. Putting on a suit, he slicked back his hair, and left his apartment.
His friends needed him.
For the time being, he still had them.
Chapter One
Tonio stared down at the grave. It had been three weeks since they had buried mother and daughter, side by side. Luiz had made sure she had a proper burial. The gravestone was beautiful, surrounded by all of her favorite flowers, daisies, daffodils, and even plain white roses. She once told him she loved white roses as she believed nothing in her life would ever be pure. Maria and her baby wouldn’t be tainted by the presence of their family.
“I hope you can find peace now, Maria,” he said.
“What are you doing here?” Luiz asked.
Turning around, he saw one of his best friends coming toward him. Luiz was Maria’s brother, and he was also carrying some roses, white ones.
“Just coming to talk to her.”
“She’s dead. She can’t hear you.”
Gritting his teeth, Tonio stared at the ground, refusing to bite to the callous comment.
“You loved my sister,” Luiz said.
“Yes.”
“She loved you.”
“Not enough.” Tonio shoved his hands in his pockets as the chill in the spring air was starting to get to him. It should be warming up soon, but at the moment, it wasn’t showing any sign of doing so.
Luiz placed the roses at the head of her stone, throwing away the dead ones as he did. Out of all four of the gang, Luiz was always the cold one. Nothing seemed to break through his icy shell.
“Yeah, Maria was fucking selfish right now, but then again, she always was.”
“Don’t, Luiz. You don’t need to make me feel better.”
“I’m not trying to.” Luiz stood up, leaving the dead foliage around Maria’s grave. “I’m not blind. I knew you two were into each other. At first, I thought I should stop it, but then, Maria was going to marry someone else. I wanted my parents to get a royal fuck you. They married her off. I should have been the one to protect her.”
“You knew?”
“That you were screwing my sister? Yes, I knew.”
“You didn’t do anything about it.”
“In our family, we do what we can to survive. Look what happened to Maria. She was always the good girl, and yet, they still passed her off to some bastard who abused her. We do what we can to survive, Tonio. We all do. Maria, she got a little bit of happiness.”
“And she would rather die than come back to me.”
“I never said Maria was all that bright. She did what she had to do. What you never seemed to get was the fact Maria was selfish. You never saw it, but she was. She knew she was getting married, and yet she still played around.”
“Don’t talk about her like that,” Tonio said.
Luiz held his hands up. “You’re one of my best friends, Tonio. I care about you, I do. You’re going to have to face the facts that Maria used you, and she just couldn’t handle that kind of guilt.”
He shook his head. “I need a drink.”
“Tonio?”
“No, I don’t need to hear this right now.”
Maria had been a selfish bitch. In the early days of their relationship, Tonio had done everything he could to try to make it so they could run away together. They could have made it, too, so long as they both worked together, and they had each other. Maria wouldn’t go with him. He was prepared to fight for her, and she didn’t want to live with a boy who didn’t have much money.
“Our life isn’t perfect, Tonio, but I like the luxuries.”
“They’re going to marry you off to someone.”
“Yeah, so?”
“What?”
“So I marry some boring old dude. I like this life. I like being able to buy what I like, Tonio. You’re asking me to give that up for what?”
Rubbing his eyes, Tonio tried to clear the memory from his head. It was a fucked up moment between them, and he hated it.
Maria had been selfish, and that memory was of the last time they had spoken in private. She had been married two months later. He couldn’t help but wonder if she ever regretted not taking his offer. Tonio would have worked hard for her. He loved her, and still did love her.
God, he was fucked.
He was in love with a selfish bitch who was prepared to marry someone she hated just so she didn’t have to work for a living.
Tonio wasn’t watching where he was going, and as he dropped his hand from his eyes, he knocked into someone, who gave a little cry.
Glancing down he saw first the blonde hair, which was so long. She pushed it out of her face, and he frowned as he looked down at her. Tonio recognized her, but he couldn’t be sure where.
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
“Why are you sorry?”
“I was in your way.” She scrambled to her feet, holding her hands out in front of her.
“I walked into you.”
“Yeah, but I was standing here.” She bent down picking up some flowers.
“I know you,” he said.
“We, erm, we went to school together.”
“We did?”
She gave a nervous chuckle. “Yeah. You sat behind me in biology and physics.”
Shit! This was the girl he used to copy from.
“I remember.”
“Zara Summers,” she said, holding out her hand.
“Tonio.”
“I know.”
He shook her head, aware of how soft her hands were, and compared to his, how small.
“Are you visiting someone?” he asked.
“My dad.”
“You’re meeting your dad here?”
“No.” She pointed at the gravestone. “He had a heart attack about three years ago. He didn’t make it, so every Sunday, I come here, and I leave flowers. You?”
“A girl who I loved.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, they don’t always love you back.”
She frowned. “I don’t know what to say to that. Was she from our year?”
“No. She was older than us by a couple of years. Married too.”
“It does get easier as time goes. I don’t know if anyone has ever told you that.”