I'm Nothing (The Family Book 2)(11)
Donnie stared at her. “What does Lucien do?”
“He comes in, and he takes the money, and he leaves.”
“Last night he didn’t,” Tonio said, recalling the way Lucien was forcing himself onto Zara. He wanted to hurt the bastard all over again. Something told him that Lucien had been planning for this all along.
“Last night was the first time that he ever did that. Lucien is never alone with my daughter.”
“I can’t believe this. I didn’t go to college because of this.”
“I wasn’t allowed to send you to college. You don’t understand, Zara. Your father, he organized everything, I was just doing as I was told. They would have killed you.”
“Doing as you were told? I almost got raped last night. My entire future was wrapped up in fucking pizza, and your only excuse is that it was Dad’s fault?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Fuck you!”
“Tonio, take her out. I want to keep on talking.”
He moved forward, ready to leave himself.
“No, you don’t get to move me from this. You’re a fucking coward, Mom.”
Banding his arm around her waist, Tonio stopped her from causing a scene by tugging her outside of the apartment.
“Let me go. This is not fair. None of this is fair.”
Luiz closed the door behind him, and Tonio pressed her up against the wall. She was clearly struggling with everything that was happening. “Let me go. I want to find out everything.”
“Some shit you don’t need to know.”
“She lied to me, Tonio. They all lied to me, and I just can’t—”
“You can’t what? Let it go? You’ve got no choice.”
“They took that choice away from me. Look at where we are now. You had no choice but to save me because of her.”
Tonio shook his head. “I didn’t have to save you, Zara. Anthony Martinez. I used to work for him. Lucien was just another goon, but something tells me someone is trying to run a different show. You’re not from The Family, so you don’t know what this all means. Going at your mother, it’s not the answer.” Tears were falling down her cheeks. “Calm down, baby.”
“I … can’t.”
“We’ve got no choice. Breathe.”
“I stopped everything for my parents. I stopped college, and my future.”
He stroked her cheek. His heart was breaking for what she had lost, and wishing he could change that. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise. Come on, let’s get you back to my room.”
Wrapping his arm around her waist, he helped her walk toward his apartment door. “I’m so scared.”
“You don’t need to be scared.”
“I worked in a place that had people killed. That is so sick and twisted. I hate it.”
He wasn’t about to say anything.
“I can’t believe I’m living with a guy who works for the mafia.”
“I don’t work for them. I am one of them. Donnie, Luiz, me, and Jake, we took over a few months ago.”
“How do you take over?”
“You kill the people who are in charge, and anyone who threatens to overthrow them, you kill them, too.”
“Wow, you seemed like such a nice guy who copied from me. All this time, you’ve been a killer.”
“It’s what I’ve been trained to do.” He kissed the top of her head. He couldn’t help it.
“God, what the hell am I going to do?” she asked.
“You can stay with me. I don’t mind.”
“I can’t stay with you forever.”
“Why not? I’ve not got anyone sharing my space. There’s more than enough room for you.” They stopped outside of his apartment. “I’m not going to pressure you to leave.”
“Going back to the pizza shop is not an option. They tortured and murdered people there.”
“You’re not cooking in their mess though. It was cleaned up.”
“It doesn’t make me feel better. I can’t believe she lied to me. I’ve been working my ass off since my father died, and he told me to take care of my mom. Now look what is happening.” She shook her head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t moan.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got to head back. We’ll talk later?”
“Sure.”
He opened the door and watched her enter. Just as he was about to close the door, she called his name.
“Tonio?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it, babe.”
****
“Donnie told me what happened. I’m really sorry,” Paige said.
Zara nodded, searching the cupboards. After everything she had just been told, she needed a strong drink, a stiff one.
“What are you looking for?” Charlene asked.
“Alcohol. Anything that will numb this … feeling.” She was shaking, and her mind was all over the place going from crazy to worse.
“There’s beer in the fridge,” Paige said.
Just as she was about to concede on the whole beer front, at the back of the cupboard she found a bottle of scotch.
“Ahha.” She grabbed the bottle and a glass, which she’d already scored. “Does anyone want a glass?”
“I’m pregnant,” Paige said.
Charlene shook her head. “It’s the morning.”
“It sure is. Can you believe I was making pancakes a few hours ago? Probably not even that.” She looked toward the clock, and saw it was indeed only a couple of hours ago. It wasn’t even lunch time, and she was hitting the stuff hard. She poured out a generous shot and downed that quickly.
Zara coughed, spluttered, and went in for a little more. “Wow, that stuff is strong.”
“Do you think you should be doing this?” Paige asked.
“I’ve just learned that my parents lied to me. My father was killed because of some bad shit that he was involved in. Right now, the only way for me to deal with everything that I’ve found out is to drink. I’ve got to drink.” She poured a great deal more into the glass, and swallowed it back. “Damn, that is good.”
“Is she usually like this?” Charlene asked.
“I don’t know. We were never really close growing up.”
“No, we weren’t. I was just the loser kid that Tonio copied from. No one ever gave me the time of day, but that’s okay. I’m used to being passed over. I’m not pretty. I’ve got the smarts, but that’s about it. No one wants in my pants either. I’m too fucking ugly. You’d have to actually wear a bag over my head.” Another drink swallowed, she gave a whoop, and did another. “Fuck me, I need a stiff one.”
“Zara, that’s a lot of alcohol.”
“Well, guess what, it’s just the start. I’ve always been the good girl. The good daughter. I always thought that by being good, meant I was going to do okay in life. Guess what? It’s a fucking lie. There’s no point in being good. Someone will fuck with you regardless, and you’re left with this pile of shit that is stinking up the place.”
“Sweetie, stay in the living room,” Charlene said.
“I never thought it was possible to hate life, and yet that is exactly what I do. I hate life. More importantly, I hate my life, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m probably rambling.” She sipped at the drink this time. “God, that is so good. Do you know any places that will be open right now, and I could drink?”
“No, I don’t.” Paige rubbed her stomach.
“You know, I always wondered about that. You and Donnie were step-siblings but that didn’t stop you getting it on.”
“Zara?”
“At school everyone was going crazy, calling you guys sick and incestuous. Some people are so dumb. Don’t they realize that you have to actually be blood related to be called incestuous? You and Donnie are not related.” Zara chuckled. She always found it funny when someone said that.
“What’s going on?” Tonio asked.
He was followed by Donnie, Jake, and Luiz.
“She’s getting drunk.”
Zara stared down at her glass. “I want to get fucked up. Do you know a place that will allow fun, partying, and maybe even some drugs?” She wanted to get radical. For once, she wanted to break her cycle of being the good girl.
“What is all this?” Donnie asked.
“This is what happens when you’ve just realized that you’ve been royally fucked but you’re still a virgin.” She burst out laughing. “God, that’s funny. Can you imagine actually having sex? I can’t.” Running a hand down her face, she shook her head, giggling. “So, how about that fun?”
“I can take you,” Tonio said.
“We don’t have time for this.”
“Lucien is out there. You’ve got to talk to Jake’s father. You may as well do that without me, and I think she’s earned the right to get fucked up. I’ll take care of her.”
“I don’t think that is a good idea,” Paige said. “She’s just hurting right now.”
“No, I’m way beyond hurting. I never drank through high school. I never had the bad boyfriend experience. I was never even kissed. The first guy to show me any attention was some loser who was old enough to be my dad. I’m not going to get any. I’m too fucking ugly, but I can get fucked up.” She smiled at Tonio. “Are you going to take me to party?”