"Fix it." She gives me a look that tells me there's a silent threat behind her command.
I nod. She steps out of the way and I head straight to Berklee's room. The lights are off. I slowly push the door open, and what I find breaks my heart. She's curled in a ball, eyes swollen, face red and blotchy. She has one hand on her belly and the other grasping a picture frame. It's a photo of the two of us. Quietly I close the door, the last remnants of daylight all that remains. I can still see her though. I kick off my shoes and climb in beside her. She stirs and her eyes pop open.
"I'm so fucking sorry," I say softly.
Tears well in her eyes. "What are you doing here?" Her voice is gruff; I can only assume it's from all the tears.
"I didn't know." I rest my hand over hers on her belly. She flinches but doesn't pull away.
"But you-"
I place a finger over her lips. "I'll explain it to you, but first I need to tell you that I love you. I love both of you with everything inside of me. I want you. Both of you. Every minute of my forever I want you."
A sob escapes her lips and I want to hold her, but I know she won't let me. Not yet. "Last night I got a message. Pictures of you at the club, with Barry. I know now that they were innocent, but what I saw and what my mind told me was going on obviously wasn't."
"He's my brother, Crew. I've told you this countless times. I don't know how else to explain it."
"You never have to again. I get it." I push a loose curl out of her eyes. "When I saw your phone, his message asking if you told me, I flipped my shit. In my mind the pictures were real, and you and Barry were going behind my back. I thought you were going to tell me that you were leaving me for him, and I couldn't bear to hear you say it. I couldn't fathom the thought of hearing those words fall from your lips, so I pushed. I ended it before you could. I walked away."
"I would never."
"I know that. I do. I just let my imagination run away with it, although no reason is good enough for the pain I've caused you. Caused both of us. That's on me. I've never felt this ache deep in here." I place my hand over my heart. "Never known the kind of pain that's caused from walking away from the woman you love. That pain, its intensity increases tenfold when you find out that it was all a misunderstanding. When you find out that you made a baby with that woman." I rest my hand back on her belly. "When you find out that a part of you is living and growing inside her and you have no idea if she'll forgive you."
She's quiet, silent tears still coating her cheeks.
"The minute I laid eyes on you, I knew you were different. I knew, even though I wouldn't admit it at the time, that you would turn my world upside down if I let you. Funny thing is, no matter how hard I fought it, I still fell. I've wanted to tell you for weeks how I feel. That you own me. That I'm madly in love with you," I say, my voice almost a whisper.
"I don't need you. I can take care of this baby on my own. You're off the hook." Her words don't match the want in her eyes. She's giving me an out.
"That's not going to work for me, beautiful. I want our family. I want us. Even if this little peanut"-I rub her belly-"didn't exist, I would still be here, begging your forgiveness. Begging you to give my sorry ass another chance to prove to you what you mean to me."
"You love me?"
"I do, baby. So much."
"You hurt me."
My chest cracks open at her words. "I know that." I swallow back the emotion. "Every day, baby. Every day I will fight to show you how sorry I am. I'll show you how much you mean to me." I shift and get jabbed in the leg. The Tiffany's boxes. "Can you do something for me? Can you close your eyes?"
"Crew, I-"
"Please?" I say, placing my finger over her lips. She nods slightly and closes her eyes. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I just need to stand for a minute." I push my luck and place a kiss on her forehead, then quickly climb out of bed and pull out the boxes. I tear the ribbon off both until I find the one with the ring in it. I set the earring box on the floor along with the ring box, leaving the wedding band inside.
"Open those baby blues for me." Her eyes pop open and she studies me, trying to figure out what I'm up to. "When I was in New York, I said I was going shopping, remember?"
"Yeah."
"I wanted to get you a gift, one that would let you know that I loved you. Something that you could keep and remember our first Christmas together." Her eyes soften. "I found it, but I also found something else. Something that reminded me of you and the love that I have for you. I bought it too. I wasn't sure when I would give it to you, but I wanted it. I knew that it was perfect, and I couldn't chance not ever finding one like it again."