I Just Want You(72)

"Time," Maggie says.

"I can't look. Will you do it for me?"

She nods and disappears into the bathroom. I close my eyes and lie back on the bed. I hear her feet shuffle across the carpet and I slowly open my eyes. There are tears in hers and she's wearing a blinding smile. "Positive, B. You're gonna be a mommy."

I'm frozen in place. I feel the wetness coat my cheeks, but I can't move. I'm pregnant. Crew and I are having a baby. My heart cracks open. This is going to be what causes me to lose him. My hand flies to my stomach, and I can't help but laugh through my tears.

"You okay?" Maggie asks.

"Yeah, I was just thinking that, when I lose him over this, at least I will always have the best part of him."

"You won't lose him, B. He's crazy about you."

"You're right, he is. I know that. Hell, the whole world knows that if you've seen us together. What he's not crazy about is the idea of kids. At least not yet."

"That was in the heat of the moment. You have to give him a chance to turn you away. Don't do it for him. Don't take his choice away."

"I won't, I promise. I just need time to . . . process. To mentally prepare myself to be a single parent."

"Knock, knock," Barry says at my door. "You two okay in there? I thought I heard you crying."

Maggie looks at me for approval and I nod. "Come in," she calls out to him.

He joins us, taking a seat on the opposite side of the bed. He looks at Maggie and I know the minute he spots the pregnancy tests she's holding.

"Which one of you?" he asks.

"Me," I whisper.

"Does he know?"

"No. I'm not ready to tell him yet either. I just need a few days to process this. Can you all please keep this between us? Just for a week or so. I just . . . need some time."

"Of course," Maggie assures me.

"He needs to know, Berklee. He deserves to know," Barry says.

"I know that. I won't keep this baby from him, I promise. I just need time. Please, Barry."

He nods. "Okay, but do it sooner than later. If I were in Crew's spot, I would want to know."

"Promise."

My phone alerts me to a text.



Crew: Headed your way.



Me: K



"That's him. He's on his way over. I told him I wasn't feeling well. I'm going with that. I just need a few days," I say again.





 

 
I don't know if it's for my benefit or theirs.





MY FLIGHT LEAVES in the morning and I've contemplated cancelling more times than I can count. Berklee still isn't feeling well. She looks tired, and I hate leaving her when she might need me. I talked to Zane this morning and reminded him that she's not feeling well and to keep a close eye on her. He assured me that he's got it covered, but I want to be the one here for her.

"Hey," she says from my doorway. "You ready?"

"Yeah," I say, packing up my laptop. "You hungry?"

She grimaces. "Not really. Why don't you just run through a drive-through on the way to your house? I'll grab some crackers or something when we get there. I'm still queasy."

"Babe, maybe I should reschedule the closing and take you to the doctor."

"No, it's just a bug. I'm fine, I promise. Just not hungry. I'll meet you back at your place."

"Okay. Just let me tell Zane we're leaving."

I stop in his office and let him know to lock up, then walk Berklee to her car and make sure she's buckled in before following behind her. I whip my truck into the local burger joint and order a double cheeseburger and fries. I scarf it down before getting home, hating to eat in front of her when she's not able to.

When I get home, I find her curled up in my bed, already asleep. Quietly, I pack my bags by the light on my cell phone, not wanting to wake her up. Once I'm done, I slide in beside her and hold her next to me. Her deep, even breaths lull me to sleep as I hold my world in my arms.

The next morning, I wake and she's still sleeping. I have to leave or I'm going to miss my flight, so I write her a note and leave it on the nightstand under her phone. Giving her a quick kiss goodbye on the forehead, I make myself leave. I keep telling myself that once I get there, sign the papers and get back, it will be over. The sooner we get this over with, the better.

My plane lands twenty minutes ahead of schedule, so instead of checking into the hotel, I drive straight to the attorney's office for the closing. The buyers arrive right behind me and we're able to get down to business. The entire process takes about thirty minutes, with my grandmother's attorney assuring me that the money will be deposited into my account within twenty-four hours. I opted for that versus a check; my grandmother's house was a pretty penny, and I really don't want to be traveling with a check that size.