Hypnotized(5)

‘Disconcerting?’ I questioned.

‘Yes. I’ll get a flash of something and when I try to remember more I’ll end up with a stabbing headache. My doctor says it’s some sort of post-traumatic thing. At other times I get to a point then my mind will go completely blank, as if I have come up to a brick wall.’

I nodded and tried hard to concentrate. ‘I see. What about dreams? Do you dream of the past?’

She frowned. ‘Not really. But I do have a recurring dream where I am going down a dark hallway. I think it could be the east wing of Marlborough Hall, our family home, but I’m not sure. I seem to be very young because my bare feet are very small and my toes are painted shell pink, but untidily, the way a child would paint them.’

Unconsciously she hugs herself.

‘Then I reach a door and I am suddenly filled with a frightfully intense sense of impending doom. I want to turn around and walk away, but I cannot. My whole body is clenched and trembling with fear. I am so terrified I feel sick, but I turn the knob and open the door.’

She lifts a shaking hand and wipes her nape as if she is smoothing down the hairs standing up at the back of her neck.

‘I find myself at the threshold of an unpainted, uncarpeted, desolate room. It is bare but for a rocking chair that is rocking all by itself. As if someone has just vacated it. I know from the silent fear that hangs in the air that something very bad happened in that room. Then I wake up in a cold sweat, frightened, uneasy, and with a strong sense that I am in terrible danger.’

I stared at her, surprised and unsettled. This was not at all going the way I thought it would. ‘Do you see a psychiatrist?’

‘Yes. I see Dr. Greenhalgh once a week.’

I nodded. ‘Good. One last question. How did you feel when you first saw your family?’

She shifted uneasily in her chair. ‘I don’t know. I could hardly believe it when they said they were my family.’

‘Why?’

‘It just seemed extraordinary.’

‘In what way?’

A strange expression flickered across her face. She clasped her hands in her lap. ‘I’m afraid you’ll think me awfully ungrateful.’

‘Try me?’

She licked her lip and, looking me directly in the eye, said, ‘Because I felt no love for them at all… No matter what they said or did for me.’





3



‘I wouldn’t call that ingratitude, Olivia,’ I said mildly. ‘Trauma can have totally unpredictable effects on the brain and psyche.’

She smiled uncertainly. ‘That’s what Dr. Greenhalgh says, too.

‘Right. We’ll start off with a word association exercise. I’ll say a word and you tell me the first thing that comes into your mind.’

She frowned. ‘A word association exercise? What has that to do with hypnosis?’

‘We want you to remain as calm and relaxed as possible through your descent into hypnosis. That means avoiding any words that elicit a negative or ambivalent response from you. And since you can’t tell me about any phobias or painful memory associations from the past, a word play exercise is the easiest way to excavate undesirable triggers. Bear in mind that some of the words I am going to throw at you have nothing to do with the process, but are in the mix to keep your mind free-wheeling.’

Her eyes shimmered. ‘All right.’

‘Once we have established your parameters I will take you next door and we’ll start your hypnosis.’

She turned her head nervously toward the door I had indicated.

As I did with all my clients I immediately put her at ease. ‘It’s a soundproof room. All our sessions will be recorded to protect you from impropriety and me from any accusations of impropriety. Ready to start?’ I asked, picking up my pen.

She took a deep breath. ‘Yes, I think so.’

I turned a new page in my notebook. ‘Sky,’ I threw at her.

‘Stormy,’ she countered.

‘Run.’

‘Away,’ she responded immediately.

I scribbled her answer. ‘Painting.’

‘Doorway,’ she replied.

Odd answer. ‘Doorway.’ I said, looking up at her.

‘Looking glass,’ she tossed back.

Very interesting. ‘Looking glass,’ I called out.

‘Danger,’ she said without missing a beat.

I resisted the slight sensation of uneasiness. Her associations seemed disjointed and haphazard. I had no experience of such answers. She was not the normal patient I saw on a daily basis. Something was very wrong. And it was quite clear that I should go no further, but my professional curiosity was greater than any sense of prudence.

‘Water,’ I pitched.