Husband on Trust(62)

‘Ah, yes, Nigel. When I came back from New York, and you knew I had bought the shares, everything I told you was the truth, Lisa. I did it to protect you.’

She had believed him at the time, but after Jed she’d been willing to discredit his every move. Now, after seeing his plan for the complex, she had to believe him again. ‘I believe you,’ she conceded, but she was still not sure where he was leading.

‘Thank you for that.’ He eased her into the hard heat of his body and pressed his mouth to her brow.

Lisa raised her hands and palmed them on his broad chest, whether in resistance or simply because she ached to touch him she did not know. She was powerless to utter a word. She felt as though she was on the brink of some great discovery.

‘It is more than I deserve.’ Alex’s eyes caught and held hers. ‘Because what I have to say now shows me in a very unfavourable light.’ His sensual mouth turned down in a grimace. Lisa held her breath, the hope that was slowly growing in her frozen.

Alex kept an arm around her waist, and as though in a gesture of comfort he lifted his other hand and caressed the soft curve of her cheek, his dark eyes kindling as he registered the slight dilation of her pupils. ‘I had it all, and in my conceit, my arrogance, I did not know it. Of all the lovers I have ever known…’

Lisa stiffened imperceptibly. The last thing she needed was a rundown on his women. ‘No, there were not that many, Lisa.’ He read her mind with ease. ‘But you were the most passionate, the most generous, giving… And I took everything you had to give and took it for granted.’ His eyes clouded with what looked suspiciously like remorse. ‘I could make excuses. I did not believe in love because of my parents. My mother loved my father, still does, but would not forgive what she saw as a betrayal.’

Lisa suddenly saw the parallel in their relationship. Alex had caught her in the foyer of a hotel and had thrown her out of their home. He was more like his mother than she had thought, and she listened with mounting hope as he continued.

‘But that is the easy way out. In reality I had reached the age of thirty-five without experiencing the emotion, and was cynically convinced it did not exist. Until I met you. But even then I refused to recognise it.’

Her blue eyes widened to their fullest extent on his serious face. Was he implying again that he loved her?

‘Even after the fiascos with Margot and Nigel were sorted out and we went to Kos…’ Their eyes met and clung for a long moment with memories shared. ‘Even then I could not admit to myself that I loved you. In my conceit I didn’t think it mattered, because I knew you loved me. On our honeymoon, you delighted me with your unabashed enthusiasm, both physically and verbally. But after I returned from New York it slowly dawned on me you no longer said the words. You became a silent lover. I told myself it did not matter, but it did,’ he admitted with a self-mocking smile.

Alex was right; she had withdrawn slightly, out of insecurity, but she hadn’t thought he’d noticed. The hope expanded to every part of her as he went on.

‘I found myself growing more and more suspicious. I was jealous of the time you spent E-mailing your friends. Then, on the night I got back from Singapore, I went into your study to get the fax from the pottery chap.’ Pain clouded his expression, and involuntarily Lisa’s hands stroked comfortingly up over his chest.

He gave her a crooked smile. ‘I found a printout of an E-mail with the address of a hotel in London and it was like a knife in my gut.’ He paused. ‘I have absolutely no excuse for following you, or grabbing your friend Jed. It was sheer rage, primitive male jealousy; the man was touching my woman.’ He said it with such possessive arrogance Lisa had to mask a smile. It was so Alex… He could not remain humble if he tried.

‘In that moment I knew the sheer agony of love and betrayal.’

‘Not betrayal,’ Lisa interjected swiftly.

‘You were close to Jed mentally. Is a betrayal in the mind any less harmful than a physical betrayal, Lisa?’ he asked, and she did not know how to answer him. His eyes never left her face as he bent his head, and brushed her lips gently with his own. ‘Forget I said that. Just know I love you, Lisa. I think I always have, but I was too arrogant to admit it,’ he murmured against her mouth.

‘But you still insisted it was over…’

‘Hush, Lisa.’ Alex lifted a finger and placed it over her lips, and she marvelled at the slight tremor in his touch. ‘I will regret to my dying day the way I behaved. You are my wife, and I will love and treasure you in this world and the next, if you will let me.’ His dark eyes gleamed with the fierce burning light of love. There was no mistaking it, and Lisa’s lips parted in a brilliant smile of pure joy, her shimmering blue eyes reflecting the love she found in his. ‘Will you?’ He repeated huskily.