How to Discipline Your Vampire(97)
He stroked my hair. “You’re too willing to forgive. I killed, Cerise. And then I left. I found other vampires who existed through donors and other nontraditional means, and that was that.”
I was mesmerized by his story, but had to know more. “Do you ever see them?”
“Occasionally I’ll visit—they’re normally in France, where they’re from. They are always happy to see me, but never satisfied with my lifestyle.”
I nodded. “So, you feed on only Harvey and others like him?”
He froze. “Not exactly, Cerise.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, my breath hitching in my chest.
He took my hand back and looked at my face with fear. “Please, don’t judge me too harshly for this.”
“You’re home,” I said simply. “You shouldn’t fear anything you say here.”
He continued, stiltedly but determined to explain. “Harvey isn’t enough for Breanna, Steven, and myself. For this reason, I often feed at the nursing homes. I use IVs on the terminal patients and order blood supplies from the local hospitals.”
I made no sound. I simply listened.
“The folks there love me. Even the ones with severe dementia, who have seen me countless times and never remember my face. Those are the ones I visit in the night. I please them with my presence and my eager ear, and when they fall asleep, I slip in the needle so gently they don’t even feel it. They get an extra vitamin in the morning, per Nurse Breanna’s orders, and they don’t remember what happened.” He turned away from me.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to be ashamed of that.”
He looked back at me. “I’m dealing with it. We don’t have to be bad.”
“I know, William. You are a good soul. You could be out there killing people, instead—”
He interrupted me. “Sometimes I don’t know what’s worse; I prey on the weak and vulnerable. I siphon blood from old people and drink it out of little pouches. Even for a vampire, I’m a coward.”
“You’re a miracle,” I said, the reality of my nature hitting me in the face. “And I’m a woman who uses you. I’m the coward.”
“Wrong again,” he said, coming closer to me and whispering into my hair. “You’ve given me something to live for.” We kissed, and I pulled away, realizing the depth of his fears.
The fact that he never got the love he needed.
The fact that he used people.
“Is this why you’re a submissive?”
He nodded, mouth stiff. “I don’t deserve you.” His body trembled slightly, and the words sprung from his lips, as though his heart couldn’t contain them any longer. “I love you. I love you so much,” he said, nearly gasping for air. He ran his thumb down my cheek, and I kissed his fingers when they reached my mouth.
Words failed me. I didn’t know what to say—hell, I didn’t even know what to think. I was giving him the punishment he wanted, but I disagreed with his reasonings. He wanted affection tinged with retaliation for what he had done. Right now, I realized, he should have something else.
He should have more.
“Then,” I said, trying to express my emotions and confusion to him, the man who had just laid bare his soul to me. “Let’s make love,” I said, searching for what he really needed, but what I couldn’t give. “Just us. No rules,” I whispered, my body reacting to being so close to him. “No scenes, no props,” I continued, staring into his eyes. His breath caught visibly in his throat.