How to Discipline Your Vampire(89)

            Oh wait, I was giving a BJ, of course my head was in the gutter. And by the gutter I mean his lap, bobbing up and down like a sexy buoy.

            I knew he wanted to groan and grunt, and grab my hair. It was a shame I wasn’t letting him. But, however, I would offer a consolation.

            I looked up, and tried my best to read his mind. “William,” I said, temporarily removing my mouth, “you have my permission, you know,” I hinted, and went back to work.

            He waited until he was all the way inside before coming silently. While he didn’t move or speak, I could tell from the faint tremors in his hips and from the sensation in my esophagus that I had brought him ultimate pleasure.

            I sat up, uncuffed him, and told him he did a wonderful job.

            “I think you’re the one who did a wonderful job,” he joked.

            I shook my head in dismay. “William, did you just make a funny?” I asked, stunned.

            He smirked. “I think I’m capable of anything when I’m with you,” he said, chuckling. “But honestly, that wasn’t an easy assignment, Mistress,” he said, giving me a peck on the mouth. “But I loved the challenge.”

            I nodded with satisfaction. “So did I,” I said. And that was the truth.



            After he dropped me off at my house, I found myself sniffing his jacket, which I had thrown over my shoulders in the cold theater after we had our fun.

            And I really do mean fun on several levels. Sexually, we were having a blast, but also, we were starting to laugh together. To go to the movies together. That was fun.

            But the other hesitation I was having didn’t go away, and I didn’t imagine it would. Yes, William was able to assuage my fears of being rejected and fooled. I now understood his sincerity, unquestioningly. He wasn’t lying to me, and he wasn’t tricking me. He wanted to be with me and I truly did believe him.

            But, with every scene and every physical experience we had, one thing became more and more clear to me: We were not equals. I was a Domme—a Domme craved things and her submissive provided them. Now, William was an epic provider. Sexually, I was beyond satisfied, and creatively, he stimulated my craving for role-play. That should be enough, right?

            But, he was faking the physical restraints, and that was hard for me to swallow. Heh. No, really. I know that no matter how many ropes, chains, and shackles I threw at him, he could tear through them as if they were made of paper. Physically, he was more than my match, and much more than any other man. He was faster, smarter, stronger, and simply better than me. How could I delude myself into thinking I was dominating him, even for a second?

            I hated that he put on a façade when I bound him. He did it because that’s what was expected of him, and because it was what I “wanted,” but I didn’t want an illusion of dominating him—I wanted to actually be able to restrain and give him that delicious blend of pleasure and pain that I was very good at doling out. There was an illusion going on in my bedroom, and I didn’t know how to handle it.

            How could I ever truly get the upper hand? Sure, he did what I asked, but there is a visceral feeling inside me that comes alive when I tie someone up and spank him. And with William, well, it may look like I was feeling that, but I knew I was really just putting on a flimsy show. He was supernatural, and I was weak.

            And I hated feeling weak.





CHAPTER TWENTY

            Cerise

            CAN WE TALK? William texted me an hour after he left.

            OF COURSE, I replied and started to make myself dinner. Within minutes, he was at my doorstep.

            “Back for more?” I asked devilishly. He dropped his keys on my coffee table and walked toward me with that needy yet submissive manner.