“Yes,” he agrees. “But I also like to get to know the House leaders. It gives us that opportunity, so nothing is wasted either way.”
I smile and take a step closer to him. “So, just you and I in this House the next two weeks, huh?”
“I’m looking forward to it,” he says with a smile. And maybe I’m imagining it, but do I sense a hint of friendship in it?
Something dark on the floor draws my attention.
It’s been scrubbed and cleaned, but I still smell it, and it’s disturbing the scent of my own blood makes my throat burn. I laid here five days ago as a human and bled as someone drained me dry.
“Who was it that ended my life?” I ask. Because it’s a question I’ve avoided asking. There have been many of them since I Resurrected. “I was fading fast, but I know there were a few bodies in the room with me. Who was it?”
“Does it matter?”
My eyes rise to meet his. “It matters a great deal to me.”
He contemplates the answer for a good long moment, and I have to wonder if he will lie to me. “I heard a conversation going on in your room and it escalated quickly. I ran into your room, found Mr. Ward and you—on the ground, dying. It was Raheem who also rushed in here.”
He bites the inside of his lower lip, and I wonder if that’s his tell. I need a way to know when Cyrus is lying. And I’m almost certain he’s about to lie to me now.
“It was me,” he says. “You were so close to death already. And the things Mr. Ward was saying to you, I could tell how much pain it was causing you. I didn’t want you to have to endure it one moment longer.”
I swallow hard, fighting the desperate, horrible feelings that are climbing up my throat. Everything about that night went so wrong.
“He really just left?” I ask. My voice sounds strangled. All of my internal organs have surely turned to ash. Certainly, my heart no longer exists.
Cyrus takes a step forward and takes my hands in his. “We all have pasts. We go through experiences that make us the people we are meant to become. Do not regret your past with pain and learning. Some people were only meant to briefly be a part of our lives. Look to the future, Alivia.”
He brings both my hands up and together, pressing a kiss to both my first knuckles at the same time.
The blackness I once felt taking over my soul creeps a little larger. Because there’s no going back. No small glimmer of hope.
“I think I’m ready to try to sleep now,” I say. And I am indeed tired. I’m exhausted. From everything.
“Of course, my dear,” Cyrus says as he leads me to the huge bed in the middle of the room. He slides in and opens an arm for me. And since nothing else feels right in the world, I climb in beside him, and tuck myself into his side, resting my head on his bare chest.
And as I let my eyes slide closed, I let Ian Ward go. Because I have to in order to survive. I have no choice but to carry on. It’s become clear, over and over, that we’re done.
Forever.
IT DOES INDEED TAKE A very long time to fall asleep. I hear the sounds every person in this house makes. Nial leaving for work at the hospital. Lillian and Anna talking about what to pack. Markov, drinking on and off. The Court members arguing about the King’s apparently unreasonable expectation of them to help me.
I don’t say a word, though. And, neither does Cyrus.
We lie there. Together. Tucked in tight.
And finally, I do sleep.
When I wake, Cyrus is gone. And it tells me truth when I am relieved. I’m learning all sorts of things about myself as of late.
Cyrus may hold me enchanted when he is with me. When he is searching for something I wish for him to have. But when he’s gone, the spell is broken.
I climb out of bed and dress in leather pants and a flowing red shirt. I twist my hair up in an elegant, yet messy twist. I find my crown on the counter in the bathroom—the message is clear and obvious—I’m expected to wear it. I have mixed feelings when I place it upon my head.
I glance at the clock before I head out the door. It’s six pm, I’ve only slept five hours, yet I feel well-rested and ready to go for days.
Goodbye to ever sleeping normally again.
As I walk down the hall, I listen to the sounds behind the doors. X is not in her room. Three court members still slumber in theirs. Anna is not in hers.
I walk down the stairs and hear voices in the dining room.
But who am I kidding. I hear every sound in this entire house now. I know exactly where everyone is.
Seated at the head of the table is Cyrus. Anna pours him a cup of coffee, and it’s such a ridiculous sight, it actually offends me. She must sense it, because she looks up at me sharply and shakes her head. Her eyes are serious and dark. I gaze at her for a long time and hope she gets that I think her acting as house help is ridiculous when she is my General.