But I continue to burn. And there’s a scent in the air.
My feet run.
I move at incredible speed. The ground beneath me is a blur, a constant flash of motion, but everything is clear in my path. I gauge the depth of the snow, anticipate the buried obstacles in my path as if I have ages to anticipate my arrival at them. My brain can process the speed, and the objects that whip past me with no difficulty at all.
I see the wall that surrounds the property in the distance. I feel the rough stone as I leap over it.
And I howl in pain as searing light blinds me.
I fall from the fence line and crash into the nearly two foot deep snow.
My brain has been shredded. My eyes have exploded. Shots of pain lace down my body from my eyes. I vomit nothing into the snow.
But I burn. I must…I must stop the burn.
I roll onto my hands and knees. Slowly, one second. Two. I climb to my feet, covering my eyes with my hands. And I run, relying on sound to guide me.
Fields. Snow. Eventually, the light from Anna’s fence security system fades away and I dare open my eyes.
I draw in another long pull of breath.
There’s a warm body down by the river.
And I am so very thirsty.
I’m across town, at the south end, past Jasmine’s House, down by the swamps, in less than a minute. And the scent of blood intensifies.
I’m burning. I have to end the burning. I feel it in my arms. My toes. My hair.
The figure stands along the other side of river. Ice stretches over the river in a thick sheet, but gives way in the center. He stands out on the ice, holding a fishing pole that sinks into a small hole in the ice. A small lantern sits on the shore behind him.
That animalistic growl grunts in and out of my chest.
I take one step onto the ice. Two.
It doesn’t crack.
But the Mississippi river is wide.
I’m careful. Silent. I move invisible through the dark.
In the last five feet before the ice gives way on the Mississippi side, I take a running leap, and easily land on the Louisiana ice.
The man coughs in the dark. He rubs his gloved hand over his face before blowing heat into it.
I creep behind him, breathing in his delicious scent.
I burn.
I burn so hot.
I have to put the fire out.
Fangs extend inside my mouth and I feel a new liquid sensation drip from them. I take one lunge at the man.
My fangs sink into his neck and it’s the most satisfying sensation I’ve ever experienced. Warm sweetness floods into my mouth and I take pull after pull, calming the burn, yet it’s not nearly enough.
Heat splashes down my front and it takes so long, so very, very long for the fire in my toes to begin dying out. I take another pull and the cool works it’s way up my legs. Another eight pulls.
The man does not move, and I moan in pleasure as I take another draw.
My fingers stop burning.
My arms cool.
Two more pulls.
I’ve cooled the burn in every part of my body expect for a few coals in my throat, when I take another pull, and nothing comes out.
Nothing at all.
I drop the fisherman and take five quick steps away from him. My eyes grow wide in terror.
I…
I shake my head, taking another step away.
Please wake up, I silently beg the man on the ice.
Please.
But he doesn’t move.
I hear shuffling on the other side of the river, and the next second, a dark figure emerges. Followed by three others.
“The first feeding is always a draining one,” Cyrus says gently as he approaches. “Your House thought you might feed another way at first, but I knew better.”
Beside him stand Anna, Markov, and Raheem.
I feel shame looking at Anna and Markov. I… This… This wasn’t me. This wasn’t Alivia Ryan. I’ve imagined my death and resurrection for months now, and I knew…I knew I would never, ever feed on anyone unwillingly. I would never kill.
But I look back at that fisherman. And it’s clear.
He’s dead.
I killed an innocent man.
Raheem grabs hold of his ankle and drags his body to the edge of the ice. He pushes it in, and it slowly floats downstream.
“This is natural,” Cyrus says as he takes a few steps, closing the distance between us. He takes my hands in his gloved ones. “This is what you were born to become. This is your natural state, Alivia. As a vampire. Being a human was only ever temporary.”
And there it’s said. Here my future has been met.
I have become everything I was Born to be. There’s no more prolonging the inevitable.
I am a vampire.
WE RETURN TO THE HOUSE. When I walk through the front doors, everyone—House and Court—is waiting inside. They look at me with expectant eyes. With excitement. With dread. With disinterest.
They’re expecting something from me.
But I just killed someone. I just ended a husband, or a brother, or a son’s life.