House of Kings(12)

Without thought, my right hand wraps behind Raheem’s neck and I pull his lips to mine. And they don’t hesitate. They don’t fight me. His lips mold to mine. They work in sync with me, giving and taking. They breathe life and acceptance back into me, making every inch of my being hum with vibrancy once more.

His hands wrap around my waist, pulling me closer. My free hand runs up his chest, feeling the hardened muscles beneath his tunic. One of his hands slides up my back, his fingers splayed wide, running over my spine and my shoulder blades.

Air. It’s what I’ve craved for so long. I’ve needed to breathe again. To let all my insecurities and fears go. And just accept. To embrace.

And here, with a spy and a man who’s far from black and white, I’ve found my air again.

“I don’t care,” Raheem breathes into my mouth. “I’m going to get myself killed, but what does it matter when every second away is death already.”

The tears bite at the back of my eyes. Because it’s such an honest confession. I feel how much he means it, every word.

But.

But I am not ready. I am not there. I don’t feel the same way.

Yet.

Not so soon after my heart has been broken and I’ve only just now finally taken my first breath again.

“Don’t go,” I sigh instead, because it is true. The thought of Raheem going away leaves an abandoned hollow cavern in my chest once again. I say it, even though I know it can never happen.

“I promise, I will return quickly,” he says as our lips finally part. He takes both my hands in his, and he holds them tightly between our two heaving chests. Our eyes meet and his are so bright and alive, and…hopeful. “Finding new House members will not be a problem.”

A surprising laugh bubbles up from my chest. “I’m sure it won’t.”

He smiles back, and I think it’s the first I’ve ever seen upon his lips. It’s a beautiful thing. Hesitant. Unsure. As if he truly hasn’t done it in centuries.

“But while I am gone, you need to be careful,” he says, the seriousness of our situation returning. “The King will treat you well, have no doubt about that. But I do not believe your friend just wandered off.”

And my hopeful, lightened mood instantly dies. “Do you know something about Cameron?”

“Just because a King has arrived does not mean your previous wars are over,” he says as his eyes grow darker. “I told you that you had a problem in your backyard and there is no reason to believe it has gone away.”

The truth sinks into me like a thousand of Elle’s toxin needles. “Jasmine.”

“Possibly,” Raheem says. “I cannot be sure. But I have been in this world for a long time. There’s a reason we do not dominate the planet. We have a way of turning on each other.”

Fear takes me over. Jasmine has been building a back-up House of Bitten over the past few weeks with the people of this town as her victims with a new Debt. In the frivolity of last night, it would have been easy for them to nab Cameron with little attention.

“We have to go get him,” I say, taking one of Raheem’s hands in mine and tugging him in the direction of the mayor’s house.

But Raheem stands grounded, pulling me back to him.

“Now is not the time,” he says when I look back at him with frustrated and confused eyes. “Everyone is supposed to be departing in a few minutes. That must be dealt with first. And you must be careful with the King while you and him are alone. But do not doubt his distaste for the race of the Bitten.”

An idea begins to form as I search Raheem’s face.

“I understand,” I say, that familiar calm spreading back into me.

He places a hand on my cheek once again and leans in for one more kiss. “I had to have one last. I may never get another chance.”

“We make our own chances and fate,” I say, pressing my lips to his once again, as well. Conviction burns in my chest.

I feel myself returning.

My old self.

My true self.

Whichever it is, I need it.

I feel the clock running out. I know everyone must be wondering where we are. So regretfully, we return to the House. Raheem circles around and enters the property from the North side, careful not to trigger the solar alarm as I enter through the main gate.

On my way up to the House, I scoop up a handful of snow and scrub my face clean, wiping away the blood Antonia transferred to me, as well as any traces of Raheem and what we’re forbidden from doing.

When I walk back into the House, it’s chaos. Bags piled everywhere, vampires running here and there frantically, packing for departure. My return is hardly noticed.

And I realize how strange it’s going to be, once again living in this house with only one other person. I miss Rath.