Morelli thought everything was sexy.
"Why don't you come back to the house with me?" he said. "I'll kiss your skinned knee and make it all better."
Tempting. "What about Grandma?"
"She'll never notice. She's probably sound asleep."
A second-story window opened in the apartment building. My window. And Grandma stuck her head out. "Is that you, Stephanie? And who's that with you? Is that Joe Morelli?"
Joe waved at her. "Hello, Mrs. Mazur."
"What are you standing out there for?" Grandma wanted to know. "Why don't you come in and have some dessert? We stopped at the supermarket on the way home from the viewing, and I bought a layer cake."
"Thanks," Joe said, "but I have to be getting home. I have an early shift tomorrow."
"Wow," I said, "passing up layer cake!"
"I'm not hungry for cake."
My pelvic muscles contracted.
"Well, I'm cutting a piece for myself," Grandma said. "I'm starved. Viewings always make me hungry." The window closed, and Grandma disappeared.
"You're not coming home with me, are you?" Morelli said.
"Do you have cake?"
"I've got something better."
This was true. I knew it for a fact.
The window opened again, and Grandma stuck her head out. "Stephanie, you've got a phone call. Do you want me to tell him to call back later?"
Morelli raised his eyebrows. "Him?"
Both of us thinking, Ranger.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"Some guy named Brian."
"Must be Brian Simon," I said to Morelli. "I had to whine at him to get a deal for Carol Zabo."
"This is about Carol Zabo?"
"God, I hope so." That, or Brian Simon was calling in his marker. "I'll be right there," I yelled to Grandma. "Get his number, and tell him I'll call him back."
"You're breaking my heart," Morelli said.
"Grandma will only be here for a couple more days, and then we can celebrate."
"In a couple days I'll be gnawing my arm off."
"That's pretty serious."
"Don't ever doubt it," Morelli said. He kissed me, and I didn't doubt anything. He had his hand under my shirt, and his tongue deep in my mouth… and I heard someone give a wolf whistle.
Mrs. Fine and Mr. Morgenstern were hanging out their windows, whistling, drawn to the shouting between Grandma and me. They both started clapping and making hooting sounds.
Mrs. Benson opened her window. "What's going on?" she wanted to know.
"Sex in the parking lot," Mr. Morgenstern said.
Morelli looked at me speculatively. "It's possible."
I turned and ran for the door and sprinted up the stairs. I cut myself a piece of cake, and then I called Simon.
"What's up?" I said.
"I need a favor."
"I don't do phone sex," I said.
"It's not phone sex. Cripes, what made you think that?"
"I don't know. It just popped out."
"It's about my dog. I have to go out of town for a couple days, and I don't have anybody to take care of my dog. So since you owe me a favor…"
"I live in an apartment! I can't have a dog."
"It's only for a couple days. And he's a real good dog."
"What about a kennel?"
"He hates kennels. He won't eat. He gets all depressed."
"What kind of dog is it?"
"It's a little dog."
Damn. "It's only for a couple days?"
"I'll drop him off tomorrow first thing in the morning and pick him up on Sunday."
"I don't know. This isn't a good time. My grandmother is staying with me."
"He loves old ladies. I swear to God. Your grandma will love him."
I looked over at Rex. I'd hate to see him all depressed and not eating, so I guess I could understand how Simon felt about his dog. "Okay," I said. "What time tomorrow?"
"Around eight?"
I OPENED MY eyes and wondered about the time. I was on the couch, it was pitch black out, and I smelled coffee. There was a moment of panicky disorientation. My eyes settled on the chair across from the couch, and I realized someone was sitting in it. A man. Hard to see in the dark. My breathing stopped altogether.
"How'd it go tonight?" he said. "Learn anything worthwhile?"
Ranger. No point asking how he'd gotten in when the windows and doors were closed and locked. Ranger had ways. "What time is it?"
"Three."
"Has it occurred to you that some people sleep at this time of night?"
"It smells like a pine forest in here," Ranger said.
"It's me. I was in the pine tree behind Hannibal's house, and I can't get the sap off. It's all stuck in my hair."