Hot For Teacher(187)

Chapter 5




His brother! Holy shit! The one that killed himself?

My heart skips a beat after I process his words, and realize Beth left out some very important details in our conversation about his brother.

“You heard, didn’t you?” Daniel asks as he reads the answer on my face.

“I have.” My voice is nothing more than a whisper. “I’m so sorry Daniel. I had no idea he even played football. I promise.”

“I know,” he says back to me, both of us sinking in the lingering tension. “It’s okay. Well it’s not okay, but you know what I mean.” He follows with a nervous laugh.

I make the first mistake of many, and reach across the table taking hold of his hand. I don’t even think about the ramifications, because I feel this overwhelming need to comfort him. My unfamiliar movement startles him and his body jerks to attention. However, his hand remains under mine, unmoving and warm, and our physical connection remains.

“I’m here if you want to talk about it.” Maybe this is what’s troubling him and why he’s struggling in my class. A horrific past has resurfaced to haunt him. I wrap my fingers around his hand and grip them in mine.

The depth of feelings I have for this scarred and beautiful young man overwhelms me, and I make the second biggest mistake of the day. I forget he’s my student. Instead I see a young man who needs a friend, and I willingly transform into one.

“I’ve not talked about what happened with my brother to anyone. My parents won’t let me mention his name. It’s as if my brother never existed and his death never happened. He’s been erased.”

He slumps against the table and begins to unravel before my eyes. The weight on his shoulders disappears with three short sentences as he speaks to me. As if they’ve been on the tip of his tongue waiting to be spoken. Damn, I know it’s wrong, but I want to be the one he leans on and helps him heal.

“But he can’t be erased in your life, because you loved him. That kind of love never stops no matter what. It’s unconditional.” He looks up at me with tears in his eyes. His blurred eyes blur the ethical lines between us even more and I rise out of my chair. I walk around the table and pull the chair out beside him.

“I’m sorry. So sorry, Daniel. You can’t keep this bottled up inside of you. It will keep you from living a real life,” I say.

I place my hand on his shoulder with my body turned toward him as I sit beside him in the chair. I feel him shaking beneath my touch, and I know he’s crying. He buries his face in his hands but there’s no hiding the deep emotions pouring from this sweet young man.

I try to soothe him by rubbing his shoulder and uttering words that tell him everything will be all right. I keep telling myself lies. Ones that say it is okay to comfort him like this, and that I’m just being a “concerned adult.” A laughable term at this point.

My rationalizing ends when he raises his head and looks into my eyes. Tears are flowing from his eyes and begin streaming down his beautiful face. I’ve never seen a person with such raw pain. His pain breaks my heart in half. Splits it down the middle leaving it open and bleeding.

I place the palm of my hands on his tear-stained face to wipe them away. But he brings his large hands up and engulfs mine in his.

We stay in this position for long moments. Dangerous ones like we’re perched on a cliff and one small movement will push us over the edge into a free-fall.

He blinks first and glances at my lips. He inches closer to me. His shallow and fast breaths breeze against my face.

His nearness, the look in his eyes, and the touch of his hands against mine are paralyzing, making me ignore the still small voice that says, “Stop. Move away. This is wrong. So terribly wrong.”

Instead I fall into the black abyss of his eyes. A dark place where wisdom and reason are silent.

Then he brushes his lips against mine with a light touch that burns me whole. My resistance is nowhere to be found, so I close my eyes and submit to the darkness drawing me down.

He brings his hands to my waist, and pulls me to him as we kiss. I taste his precious tears as I glide my lips along the shadowy skin of his cheek. Wrapping my arms around him tighter, I feel his shaking hands cup my breast.

I whisper a moan of surrender as he presses my hard nipples between his strong fingers. The pain radiates through me as a punishment I deserve. I whisper “more” to him. In a wave of motion, I find myself on his lap with my legs straddling him. Our position is deadly. One that could end and destroy me, but I’ve never felt so alive and willing to submit to what I know is wrong.





Chapter 6