I run into the kitchen and open her fridge door and see that there’s no juice in there. In fact, other than a small opened package of cheese, a jug of milk that’s almost gone, and a couple of apples, there’s nothing else in there. I calmly walk over to my briefcase, take out a pen and paper and start making a list. “What are you doing?” My head turns to the sound of her crackling voice and smile.
“I’m making a list and going to the grocery store. Is there anything in particular you need?” She begins to rise and I run over pushing on her shoulders gently stopping her. “Oh, no! Where do you think you’re going?”
Her eyebrows lower and I can tell she’s frustrated and then she sneezes, covering her mouth with both hands. Once her attack has stopped, she grabs a tissue from the box on the coffee table and blows her cute little nose. Her watery eyes look up from beneath her long lashes as she sniffs. “I want to give you some money. You’re so sweet to do all of this for me but you don’t need to pay too.”
I squat down in front of her and smile. “Just let me worry about it. You need to finish your soup and I’ll be back in no time. Where’s your keys?” She turns and points at the small table next to the front door and then looks back at me. “Good girl. Just in case you fall asleep. Now, I just want you to rest and let me help. Please?”
“But….”
“No, no buts. Finish up and then lay back down. I’ll be back soon.” Before I can think or stop myself, I lean towards her and kiss her warm forehead. I hear a small gasp, and then she relaxes. When I move back her eyes are half closed and her lips formed into a small smile. “I won’t be long,” I whisper.
When I leave I lock the door behind me and head down the stairs. I need to hurry. This is gonna make it harder and harder to stay away from her, to pretend we are only teacher and student. But God, I want nothing more than to be with her, know her better, and to hold her in my arms. I’m determined to have her and if we’re caught, then I’ll just have to find another job that can support me along with playing in the band. I was so kidding myself. I can’t wait a whole school year to be with her. There’s no way.
Chapter Four
He’s going to the store for me. Taking care of my every need. Why does this make me so nervous? Is he thinking I’m a child who can’t take care of myself or that he’s just trying to be helpful? My head hurts along with my coughing and sneezing, but I’m so confused. He can get in a ton of trouble, and I’m not worth it. He could lose his career and I shouldn’t let him. I know we have feelings for each other, and I’d like nothing more than to act on those feelings, but I can’t let him do this. God, I want him. I decide I need to do something. Show him I can take care of myself and then find a way to stay away from him.
I manage to force myself into the shower and find the hot water is surprisingly wonderful. After doing all my bathroom things, I get dressed in a comfy pair of yoga pants and long t-shirt. Okay, I don’t feel well enough to put on a bra but my assets are hidden. I gather up all the papers he brought and sit down at the small kitchen table and start working on my homework. Even though this is not helping my head I try to concentrate.
“Hey, you should be resting.” I look up from my paper as Josh walks in, my eyes follow him into the kitchen, and I watch as he puts everything away. Too comfortable, too at home.
I sigh, not wanting to do what I’m getting ready to do, but I have no choice. I look back down at my paper and frown. “You should leave. I’m fine now. Thank you for everything but I can manage.” Silence. Footsteps. I feel him, his warmth and peek up. He’s standing next to me, worry, frustration and concern marring his gorgeous face. “Look. I know you mean well but….” I turn slightly laying my pen down on the table and try to give him a smile. I don’t think I was very successful. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate everything you’ve done but I’m afraid we’ll get caught. I’m afraid you’ll lose your job that you’ve worked so hard for. You don’t deserve this.” I look down at my hands that are wringing in my lap and try to keep the tears that are clouding my vision from spilling over. “I’m not worth it.”
The warmth of his body is closer as I feel the touch of his hand cup my face and I try to keep looking down as he pushes it up but I can’t stop my eyes from moving up to his. “Hey. You’re worth it. Don’t ever say that. Look. I’ve never had a relationship, not really, and I probably suck at it but I know what I want. I want to get to know you, see where it goes.” A lone tear leaves my eye and trickles down my cheek. He tenderly wipes it away, leaving his thumb there. “I’ve never wanted anything more. Can’t we try? We can be careful. You’ll see.” My head nods shakily and suddenly I’m in his arms. Mine move around his slim waist, my head turning to the side and laying on his broad chest. I’m still worried. Worried to death. But if he’s willing to try, to risk his career for me, then I should be willing to take the chance with him.