‘I need you, Jax,’ she says, straddling my lap again. My entire body comes back to life the moment she sinks down onto me. ‘I need you,’ she repeats. When her lips meet mine again, I’m lost.
I fucking need her too.
‘Wait. Let me wrap it,’ I say, pulling out of the kiss.
‘No. I want to feel all of you, Jax. Just pull out when it’s time.’
My common sense screams, ‘Don’t be a fool, wrap that fucker,’ but my heart tells me to give her what she wants. My heart will always win out when it comes to her.
Holding my orgasm back, I drag this out as long as I can. I don’t want our time together to end, because I know it will be our last. The second I feel her muscles clench around my shaft, I can no longer stop the inevitable. Quickly pulling out, I stroke my cock a few times until I’m cumming all over her silky soft skin. It’s a beautiful sight.
In this moment, I know I’m ruined. I’ll never again experience anything remotely close to what I just did with her. Never.
When I wake, the room is bathed in darkness, and my head hurts like a bitch. I lay there for a few minutes, trying to get my bearings. Then it hits me like a tonne of bricks—Candice.
Please let this be dream.
Turning my head, I see the beautiful profile of her face illuminated by the moonlight shining through her bedroom window. Fuck. It’s not a dream.
Throwing my legs over the side of the bed to sit up, I clutch my pounding head in my hands. What have I done? A lump rises in my throat as the enormity of everything I’ve just risked hits home.
I’m suddenly feeling like I can’t breathe. I need to get out of here. Standing, I blindly feel around the floor, searching for my pants. ‘Fuck,’ I murmur to myself as I slip into my jeans. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck.’
Once I’m dressed, I make the heartwrenching decision to walk away. It’s gonna kill me, but it needs to be done. I can’t face her in the morning. I just can’t.
‘I love you,’ I whisper as I lean down, gently placing my lips to hers. I’ve never uttered those words before. My family doesn’t do love.
She stirs briefly before releasing a cute snore. Even though my heart is heavy, it brings a smile to my face. I walk towards the door, glancing briefly over my shoulder as I go. This may be the last time I ever see her.
I selfishly put my wants before my needs, and I hate myself right now. I’ve always wanted her, but more than anything I’ve needed her. I always will.
I fucked up.
I’ve ruined everything.