I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you, but your mother is all alone, so I need to go to her. I’m no good to you like this, and I know you’ll always have each other.
My wish is that you both have a wonderful, rich full life. I can no longer give you that, but always know your mother and I love you and will be watching out for you from above.
Until we meet again.
Always,
Your father, Colin.
We’re both quiet for the longest time once we’ve read our father’s parting words. I have a kaleidoscope of emotions running through me. I’m sad that he was so broken by her death, but at the same time, it was nice to hear how much he loved her. At least I’m the product of love.
I feel guilty my mother died giving birth to me. My birth ruined all our lives and ripped our family apart. I’m also angry that my father’s decision tore me away from Tate and led me into a life of abuse at the hands of my carers, before being adopted by a woman who forced me into prostitution. That’s a hard pill to swallow.
I wish he hadn’t taken his own life, leaving us to fend for ourselves. Tate’s life wasn’t that bad, but my childhood was horrific. My life would’ve been so different if he’d stuck around.
‘I’m sorry I wasn’t around to look after you,’ Tate says.
‘It was out of your hands. You were just a kid. I had a good life,’ I lie. There’s no point dredging up the past. Telling him the truth will do no good. Squeezing his hand, I force out a smile as pieces of my childhood flash through my mind.
‘I’m happy to hear that.’ He pauses. ‘Would you come to the cemetery with me tomorrow?’ he asks.
‘Of course.’ I don’t need to think about it. It will be good for us both.
It’s a two-hour drive to the small town where Tate and I were born, and where our parents are buried. Brock is with us, but opts to stay in the car when we reach the cemetery. He thinks it’s something we should both do together, but assures me he’s here if I need him. I’d be lost without that man.
We stop off in town and buy some beautiful white roses to place on their grave. As we approach the gravesites, I clutch the flowers to my chest as Tate bends down to clear the leaves that have gathered over their headstones. A lump rises to my throat when I read what they say.
When Tate straightens, he drapes his arm over my shoulder. ‘Mum, Dad, it’s us, Tate and Jade. It’s taken twenty-four years for us to find each other again, but we wanted you to know that we’re finally together.’ He turns his head and smiles at me. ‘And I’m so glad we are.’
‘Me too,’ I say, putting my arm around his waist and resting my head on his shoulder.
I pass one of the bunches of flowers to him and he bends down and lays them on our father’s grave. ‘I promise I’ll look after her,’ I hear him whisper.
Crouching down, I lay my bunch of flowers by my mother’s headstone. ‘I’m sorry.’ I was just a baby, but I can’t help but feel responsible for her death. Suddenly, it all becomes too much and I cover my face with my hands and sob. I feel relieved I finally got to say that to her, it’s played on my mind my entire life. I wish more than anything that things could’ve been different.
‘Come here,’ Tate says, pulling me to my feet and into his arms. He hugs me tightly as we both cry for our parents, for our family, and for the life we missed out on. It’s cathartic. It’s closure. I know coming here today is the first step in truly healing. It will help us both. You may not be able to change the past, but you can shape your future.
M’s trial finally rolled around. Both Rupert and I were subpoenaed as witnesses. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, but on the other hand, I was eager to see this through to the end—to finally be able to put M, my past, and everything I went through behind me. I have a wonderful life now and a family who loves me, so there’s no point dwelling on something I can’t change. I know Rupert is keen to see justice served, and the monsters responsible for his daughter’s death finally held accountable.
To my dismay, I’m the first to be called to the stand. I’ve been dreading this day. Under the circumstances, the court offered to let me give my evidence by video link, but that would be the coward’s way out. I refuse to let her take one more piece of my dignity. I’d forever be disappointed in myself if I didn’t face her. I firmly believed standing up to M is exactly what I need to finally be free. It’s something I’ve yearned for. She bullied and intimidated me for far too long. With Sasha’s death always in my mind while I lived with M, it gave her the power to control me in the worst possibly way.