Honored (City Series Book 4)(9)

It was hard to keep looking her in the eye after that, so I left.

I sighed, shaking my head. Her dog saved her life. If it hadn't barked at that exact moment, making her turn around, I would have pulled the trigger. And even though that bark may have condemned me and everyone I loved, I was still thankful for it, because even if I had killed her, and was welcomed into Colm's inner circle, it wouldn't have been a real life, not really. She would have haunted me forever.

I'd rather live a short, real life than suffer through a long and fake one.

Before I could dive further into my self-loathing, somebody knocked on my office door.

"Fuck off," I yelled out.

"Liam, it's Colin. Colm is on the phone for you."

Groaning, I stood up and walked to the door, pulling it open. Colin gave me an apologetic smile and handed me his phone. I gave him a ‘go slam your dick in a door' look and turned away from him. As far as I knew, he was totally in the dark about what was happening, and I intended to keep it that way for as long as possible.

"Liam here," I grunted into the receiver.

"I heard it didn't go well." Colm's snake voice.

"Yeah, well, some other civilian showed up. I had to abort."

"Do you know why I want her dead, Liam?"

"Dead bitches don't talk."

He laughed. "Of course, but it's more than that."

I shook my head, sick of playing games. "What do you want, Colm?"

"You're from a long line of gangsters and Mob men, all of who stuck to the honor code like the good little boys they were. They thought their honor would help protect them and their loved ones."

"I know that."

"Good, so you'll understand when I say that I need you to bloody your fucking hands. I need you down in the mud with the rest of us. You're no longer kept above everyone else because of some precious honor or whatever other old-fashioned bullshit." He paused, and I felt my heart hammering in my chest, my anger beginning to rise. "I need this girl silenced, but I need you dirtied as well. It's not just about proving your loyalty anymore, Liam. It's about proving to me that you understand the direction we're headed, and that you won't be second-guessing every single decision I make from here on out."

I was quiet as I absorbed his little speech.

"So you get it, Liam?"

"Yeah, I get it."

"Kill the girl by tomorrow night." Another pause. I was practically crushing the phone in my hand, I was so angry. "I don't want to be your enemy, Liam. I want to be your friend."

"That's what I want, too." I wanted to call him a monster, threaten to break his teeth, but I kept my mouth shut instead. He didn't know how much I despised him yet, and that was to my advantage.

"It warms my heart to hear you say that. Get it done."

"I will."

He hung up without another word. I stared at the phone for a few seconds, jaw clenched, body tense.

Get it together, you fucking pussy.

"Colin, your phone," I called out. Colin appeared from around the corner and took the phone from my hand. Without a word, I shut the door as he walked away and returned to my seat behind my desk. I leaned back in my chair and looked up at the ceiling, my gut swirling with fear but my chest fighting with determination.   





 

I made a choice. Maybe I made the wrong choice, maybe I doomed people that I loved, but it was my choice. I wasn't going to give up, not yet, not when there was still a chance.

All I had to do was figure out a way to keep Ellie alive while still keeping myself in Colm's good graces.

Easy. No big deal.

I sighed, pulled my phone out, and began to type a text.

Me: I'm sorry to do this, but I have to cancel on you tonight. Work stuff. Another time, maybe.

I hit send, frowning. I couldn't be seen with her, not when other people in the Mob knew her face and knew she was the one that Colm wanted dead. I couldn't risk that obvious connection, not yet at least. I hated letting her down, but I'd rather she feel a little annoyed than get a bullet in the back.

All I needed was a plan. I pulled a bottle of decent whisky and a glass from the bottom drawer of my desk, poured myself a decent drink, and sipped it.





Chapter Eight: Ellie


Liam: I'm sorry to do this, but I have to cancel on you tonight. Work stuff. Another time, maybe.

I frowned at the text, folding my legs underneath me. I had already showered and was getting ready when he canceled on me. What an asshole. Why would he wait until the last minute? It must have been important, but still. What could have been so important at his restaurant that he couldn't at least give me a call? It was frustrating and confusing; he seemed pretty into me during our walk, except for at the very end.

On a whim, I tapped on my friend Chelsea's name and listened to the phone ring. I figured I was already dressed up and in the mood to do something; I might as well not waste the night just because Liam decided to stand me up.

"What up, girl?" Chelsea said.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"I'm decent, exhausted though. Haven't seen you in like, forever!"

"I know, being an adult sucks."

"Tell me about it."

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Honestly? I'm having a few glasses of wine and going to bed by ten."

"How about some ice cream with me instead?"

"Can I still have some wine later?"

"You absolutely can."

"Great. I'll meet you at your place. When?"

"Half hour?"

"See you soon."

"Bye."

We hung up. I looked down at Petey.

"Liam is such an asshole, right, Petey?"

He looked up at me and wagged his tail. I sighed, leaning back into my comfortable couch. I hadn't been on a date in a while, and honestly I hadn't really thought much about it. I knew there were all these different dating apps, which I guess would have been easy enough to use, but it felt weird. And I didn't want to meet some random guy at a bar, since that could be so sleazy. Instead, I put it out of my mind and didn't bother.

I have no clue why I was so against meeting guys in a bar. It would make a lot more sense if I were open to meeting someone great anywhere, but I guess I loved to shoot myself in the foot.

Then Liam came along. The situation seemed perfect. He wasn't married, I wasn't meeting him through an app or at a bar, and he was attractive. I mean, he was nice and funny and seemed interesting, and he was beyond sexy. I felt like a teenager again, imagining myself running my hands down his shirt and along his muscled chest. I wanted to bite his lower lip so badly.

But he stood me up. I wasn't sure if I wanted to give him another shot. Then again, you had to respect a man with his own business, especially at such a young age. He hustled, and I couldn't hold that against him too much. It didn't exactly upset me, but it was definitely strange.

Shaking my head, I stood up and walked into my bedroom to get changed into something comfortable to wear.

Chelsea grinned at me as we walked down the sidewalk toward Philly Flavors on Fairmount Avenue. She was her usual, happy self, though I could see how tired she was around the edges. She was slightly less ready to laugh, and the bags under her eyes were thicker, but otherwise she was the same old Chelsea.

"So he just canceled on you, out of the blue?"

I nodded. "Yeah, through text. I mean, he does own his own restaurant, so there really could be some issue, but still. Call me at least."

She laughed. "Yeah, seriously. If you want, I can hook you up with one of the lawyers at my firm. There are some nice, hot young partners."

"No, thanks. I'm not really interested in dating around."

"Oh, and yet this mysterious Liam guy is good enough for Princess Eleanor?"

I winced. "God, don't call me that."

"It's your name, isn't it? Anyway, what makes this guy so special?"   





 

I sighed and looked away. I had no clue how to answer that. What did make him so special? He was hot, definitely, but it was way more than that. There was this indefinable part of him, some impossible-to-pin-down presence.

"I honestly don't know. He's hot, he's successful, and he takes care of his little brother. There's just something about him."

She nodded and paused. "How hot?"

I laughed. "That's all you got from that?"

"Yeah, but I mean, how hot are we talking here?"

"I don't know. One-night stand hot, I guess."

She whistled. "Coming from you, that's a big deal."

I laughed, and she grinned at me as we approached the ice cream store. I ordered a small vanilla cone, and Chelsea ordered a cherry water ice and vanilla ice cream gelato. We walked half a block away from the store and sat down on an abandoned building's front stoop, eating together.

"How's work been?" I asked.

"You know, the usual bullshit. Lawyers are all assholes, except for the cute ones, and they make me stay way too late every night. What about you?"

I shrugged. "It's pretty good, actually. Aside from how gross kids are, I guess."

She made a face. Chelsea was not the kids type. If maternal instincts were a thing, Chelsea definitely never developed any.

"I'd rather work too hard than work with kids."

"It can be really rewarding sometimes, you know."

"So can working at a law firm, except I get rewarded in cold hard cash."

We both laughed, and I ate my ice cream, looking across the street at a small park. I wondered what Liam was up to, and if his emergency had been taken care of yet. I hadn't seen him after school, though I had stayed late in my classroom talking to some parents, but I wished I had caught him. Even though he was a huge asshole for ditching me, I still liked to be close to him.