“What happened?” the tall huskier officer asked but he was looking at my Aunt.
“I don’t know. I found her lying on the floor with her Mother’s picture.” She explained but her words became muffled under her sobbing. “She tried to kill herself!” she sputtered as the medics surrounded me and began checking my vitals and the wound on my hand.
“No! No! I didn’t try to kill myself!” I shouted over their conversation but no one paid any attention to my protests. My tears gave way as I began to panic. “Please! I just want to go home!” I sobbed. The older female medic looked at me sadly. I hated that look. The look of pity I received from everyone after my parents had died. Anger bubbled up inside of me and I began to fight against them. One medic was holding my injured hand and another was taking my blood pressure from the other arm. I felt claustrophobic, struggling desperately to free myself from their hold. The police officer who was talking with my Aunt took notice and began to shout at me to calm down. His partner, a younger female put her hand on her weapon as her eyes darted back and forth between us. The third medic had disappeared and returned quickly with a gurney. The harder I fought the tighter they held me. Within seconds, I was lying on my back strapped to the device. My Aunt’s cries faded into the background as the wheeled me down the hall and out of the front door. The sunlight was blinding and the surge of heat made my stomach turn. The medics slid me into the back of their ambulance and closed the door behind us. The sudden darkness made it impossible for me to see and carsickness took over where the warmth had left off. “Please…” I cried as the older nurse wiped my hair from my forehead.
I took long calming breathes and finally managed to stop crying as the ambulance pulled into the hospital. They pulled me out and pushed me into the emergency room where doctors and nurses where waiting for us. The nurse left my side and talked quietly to a doctor in the far corner of the room. I could not make out anything they were saying but the doctor’s eyes never left my face and I felt utterly humiliated. I let my headrest back on the gurney and stared up at the white ceiling tiles. After a few moments, the doctor was by my side, adjusting his latex gloves.
“How are you feeling today Ms. Townsend?” he asked as he pulled up my eyelids to inspect my pupils.
“Like an idiot.” I replied with irritation.
“Well, there isn’t much I can do for that, but I can fix up that nasty gash on your hand.” he said with a slight smile and I relaxed a little. “You think we can take off these restraints?” he asked and I nodded my head.
“I wasn’t trying to kill myself.” I replied. He began undoing the leather belt like devices and looking over my hand.
“Well, I am inclined to believe you.” He said and nodded to the police outside of the door. They walked away from the opening and he set back to fixing my hand. “I’ve never seen someone try to kill themselves by cutting their hand.” He continued as he pulled a small piece of glass from the wound. I reflexively tried to pull my hand back from him but he held onto it tightly. “This is going to hurt a little.” He warned and I nodded, biting my lip. He cleaned the cut and by the time he was done, I had four stitches and a pink gauze bandage wrapped around my hand and up my wrist. I explained what had happened while he worked and I felt surprisingly better when the process was finished. “Life doesn’t get any easier. You have been through a lot. It’s okay to ask for help.” He said kindly and I assured him that I would talk to someone next time I was feeling sad.
“How are you feeling?” my Aunt called from the doorway. I did not know how long she had been standing there.
“I’m fine.” I answered as I slid off the bed.
“You have no idea…” she began but her words trailed off and I did not encourage her to finish.
Chapter Seven
The ride home seemed to last for hours as I explained to my Aunt what had really happened last night. I was sad, but I never intended to hurt myself. She lectured me for drinking too much and I did not argue. I did not intend to ever touch another drop of alcohol again. All of her sadness was replaced with anger and I preferred it that way. I could not stand to see one more person look at me with pity.
We pulled into the garage and I could not wait to take a shower and go back to sleep.
“Get ready. You still have a few more classes today.” She called from behind me.
“You’re kidding right?” I asked.
“You think you deserve a day off after all you put me through? I’ll be lucky if I ever see Dan again!” she said angrily.