Home is Where the Heart is(67)

Jordan couldn’t think of any better time to make the moment memorable by stealing one sweet kiss with the beautiful woman standing in front of him.

Before Cassie knew what he was doing or had to time to react, his mouth collided with hers in one mind-blowing kiss, and although part of her didn’t want their kiss to stop, she knew she couldn’t go on like this. She couldn’t lead Jordan on and let him think she wanted something more with him, when she really wasn’t sure she could handle rekindling a relationship with him all over again.

Her hands came up and lightly pushed against his chest to move him away from her and stop their kiss from going any further, using her hands as a barrier between them, even though all she felt like doing was allowing his body to do what it did best and continue grinding against her.

“Jordan...we can’t...I’m sorry.”

Jordan looked puzzled, his eyes scanning her face as if he was searching for some kind of answer. “You don’t want this?”

“No, I do,” Cassie said, shaking her head. “You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now, and how much I want the kiss to escalate into something more. I’ve wanted this to happen again since that night in my kitchen, but it can’t—at least, not now.”

Jordan stepped forward, closing the small gap between them. His hand brushed against her smooth cheek and she knew she could just as easily go all the way and allow him access to even more of her, but she just wasn’t sure she had it in her to put her heart on the line again.

“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this—how much I’ve wanted you.” His voice was hoarse through his ragged breathing.

His fingers ran through her hair, feeling the silkiness of each strand he touched, and Cassie so desperately wanted to fall into his arms and be swept off her feet by him, but she also knew she had be realistic and put her son’s needs ahead of her own. The possibility of reuniting with Jordan was simply not an option.

“I can’t be with you. I know you say you love me and want to be with me, but we’ve been through this before. Things change and there are too many temptations in Miami, especially when you’re in the NFL and in the spotlight the way you are. I know that women throw themselves at you, and how could they not? I’m just not sure I could handle being in that kind of relationship.”

“But I don’t care about other women the way I do about you. I don’t want anybody else; I just want you. You’re it for me. You always have been, and I think part of me has always known that. It’s probably why I have never been able to commit to any other relationship.”

His face grew serious. Cassie was having a hard time trying not to believe the words coming out of his mouth. He was saying what she and every other woman wanted to hear, and she desperately wanted to believe him, but actions spoke louder than words and she couldn’t help but think back to the last time they were together, and how awkward and messed up it was when they attempted to commit to a long distance relationship.

“You say that now, but things can change in the blink of an eye. We’re both used to it happening. We know what it feels like, and I’m not prepared to put myself through that all over again. I’m sorry.”

Jordan knew no matter how many times he said he wasn’t going to break her heart, he wouldn’t be able to convince her to give their relationship another go. She was stubborn, much like him.

“It’s okay.” Despite the lie he was suddenly telling, he tried not to look as disappointed as he was feeling and covered it up with the best smile he could manage. “I do understand.” He was hurting. She knew that, and as much as she’d like to tell him she wanted to give them another go, she simply couldn’t do it. She couldn’t admit she wanted to be with him too, even though a big part of her was telling her to just go for it and never let him go, holding on tight with all her might.

But he understood what she was getting at. He wasn’t happy about it, but he did get it, and she had every right to feel the way she was feeling. Jordan knew he had hurt her the last time, and even though he vowed never to break her heart again, and as many times as he tried to convince her he wasn’t that same eighteen-year-old boy he was six years ago, he knew once Cassie made up her mind, there was no turning back from it. He just wasn’t happy about it. He didn’t know if he would ever be truly over her, but for Jake’s sake, Jordan knew he couldn’t leave on bad terms. They would forever be a part of each other’s lives, so he had to at least try to stay civil with the mother of his child, even if they wouldn’t be together.