Home is Where the Heart is(52)

He folded his arms across each other, resting his right leg on his left knee.

“You can go to sleep if you want. I’m here. I’ll wake you up if Jake opens his eyes.”

“Why? Do I look tired? Is this your way of telling me I look like shit?” Cassie gave him a hazy-eyed look.

Even on a bad day, in Jordan’s eyes, Cassie could never look shit. She was always going to be the prettiest woman he had ever laid eyes on.

“You look tired like any parent in our situation would.”

Cassie rubbed the sides of her face with her hands, shaking her head. “No, I’m okay. I don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep in these chairs anyway. Besides, I would rather ask you about your tattoos.”

My tattoos? Jordan asked himself. Why did she want to know about his tattoos? That subject had never really come up before. He knew he didn’t have ink six years ago when they had been together, but why would she be so curious to know about them now? Was she just now getting a better look of the words and images scrawled across his arms?

“Okay, shoot—what do you want to know?” He unfolded his arms so his tattoos were exposed, giving her a better look. She was allowed to ask him anything. He couldn’t shy away from her thought-provoking questions anymore.

“Have you always liked them?”

“I’ve never been opposed to them or anything, but I’m not going to rush out and get a whole sleeve. The tattoos I have all mean something to me. I guess, in a way, it was something I knew my father couldn’t control in my life like everything else he insisted on taking control of.”

Like you, for instance, he thought.

“What’s the meaning of your tattoos?”

Jordan pointed to the one on his left wrist. They were Chinese symbols Cassie was curious to know what they meant.

“This says ‘believe’.” He then pointed to the other Chinese symbol on his right arm. “And this one says ‘love’.”

One by one, his finger led a path to each of his tattoos, explaining why each of them had a momentous meaning. He pointed to the cross on the inside of his left arm. “I got this cross after we broke up. I got it as a symbol of faith. I didn’t believe I could have any in myself until I realized all I needed was a little faith that everything would work out the way it was intended to, and maybe one day, fate would lead me back to you.”

Cassie couldn’t stop her heart from doing a little flip flop over the fact he got a tattoo for her. She had a special place in his heart and she liked it.

“And this,” he said, pointing to the angel taking up most of his right forearm, “I got for my grandparents after they passed away. They’re like my guardian angels watching over me from heaven. Maybe it’s because of them I was drawn back to you. They did always like us together.”

“I think they were your only family members who actually liked me and didn’t feel as if you needed to find someone better than me.”

Cassie didn’t mean to be such a bummer, but this was how she used to feel toward certain members of Jordan’s family when they had been a couple—particularly his father.

“I guess it’s why I gave Jake his name.”

“He’s named after my grandfather?” Jordan was surprised to learn of the origin of his son’s name, even though it shouldn’t have been that big of a surprise.

“Well, I wasn’t too keen on the name Jacob, so I shortened it to Jake instead, but he is actually named after your grandfather.”

“That was so amazing of you,” Jordan replied. “I’m sure he would have loved to know his great grandson is named after him.”

Cassie paused for a moment before jumping into another confession. “He came to see me, you know—your grandfather. After I had Jake, he paid us a visit at the hospital. I hadn’t named him at that point, but he said I was doing the right thing and told me to hang in there, because everything would get better eventually. I know he didn’t realize it would have been his last conversation he would share with me, but his final words stuck with me. And somehow, I just knew that Jake and I were going to be okay, even if I was going to be a single mother. We would get through life in the end.”

“I believe you’ve done very well raising Jake on your own.”

“Well, I haven’t really done it alone. I’ve had plenty of support surrounding Jake and me throughout the years. But thank you. I’ve only done what I thought was right all along. Apparently, I was born to be a mother.”

She was born to be a mother to Jordan’s son, though he didn’t tell her that.