Home is Where the Heart is(20)

Jordan swept her hair to the other side of her neck so that it cascaded across her shoulder as his rough fingers lightly brushed against her skin, unaware of the sensations his touch made her feel, like she would go weak in the knees.

This is going to be harder than I imagined, she thought, trying with all her might to fight her returning feelings for Jordan. As she turned around, ready to convince Jordan—as well as her own mental stability—he needed to leave, her forehead brushed against his, and she realized she could no longer hold back what it was she was feeling. She allowed Jordan’s lips to softly brush against hers in one very sweet but sensual kiss, which lingered longer than she expected it to. His kiss was the same as it was before. She couldn’t say she didn’t like it either, because she did. She liked it a lot.

As their lips met once more, Cassie felt her eyes flutter shut and she lost all her uncertainties and qualms as she was swept up in the moment. She didn’t care she shouldn’t be kissing him right now and was reverting back to her former self. She suddenly didn’t want to think about anything else other than the love she knew she still felt for Jordan. It was simply buried deep down inside her, looking for an escape out of the box she had confined it to for the past six years.

That kiss hadn’t been an impulse between two sexually attracted people; it was an insight into how much he wanted her, cared for her. He couldn’t resist her anymore than she could resist him. Their attraction wasn’t going away, as much as she would have liked it to.

Cassie abruptly pulled away, stepping back with her hands in the air as if to ward him away.

“I...we can’t be doing this,” she hesitated, nothing making any sense to her whatsoever. She showed him to the door. “You need to go. Now.”

Jordan made no attempt to leave; instead, he moved toward her with every intention of kissing her again. She couldn’t take it anymore. Something had to be done. She needed to know how he truly felt about her. Did he love her as much as she still loved him? As she hesitated on the spot, watching his gaze slide over her as if all her womanly curves were on display for him, she realized that despite his desire for her right now, he had no definite plans to be with her that she knew of. She needed to learn where she stood with him. It was now or never.

“Jordan,” she whimpered groggily into his chest, as she linked one arm around his neck and used the other to hold onto the table for support. A part of her desperately wanted to live in the moment with Jordan, give herself completely to him with an all-access pass, while the other part of her knew no matter how good it felt to be kissed by Jordan and how much she knew her body was accepting of his, it simply couldn’t go any further than kissing. The moment was rushing too many hardcore memories back to the surface—memories she wasn’t sure she was ready to rehash all over again. Cassie couldn’t risk Jordan burning her again.

“Don’t talk,” he carped, kissing his way along her neck until he found her lips again. Each kiss became more persistent, like he had been craving the opportunity to kiss her again for a long time.

Then she felt herself struggling with her conscience, realizing that as much as she had wanted to have him kiss and touch her, it was wrong. She couldn’t open herself up to heartbreak again. She wouldn’t do it to Jake.

“No,” she managed to get out, using her hands to push him away with all the ferocity she could muster together. She raised her hands to his chest, pushing him away from her with a little more force this time.

“Are you saying you don’t feel the chemistry still between us? I do. I have since the tavern.”

“You have no idea how much I’m turned on right now, and all I want to do is give in to these desires that I have for you, but I can’t,” Cassie answered softly. “You can’t go around playing with my feelings. Sure, you’re back now, but for how long? Sooner or later, you will go back to Miami, because it’s what you do and what you’re good at. Then I will be at square one all over again, wondering when you will come back to me and if you ever really loved me. I’m not going down that road again, Jordan. I realized a long time ago that you don’t live here anymore.” Cassie let out a deep sigh, moving past Jordan, unable to look him in the eyes as she turned the knob of the door and opened it. “You need to leave now.”

And just like that, Jordan knew better than to argue with her. It wouldn’t get him anywhere—she could be just as stubborn as his father—especially tonight, when he was in no state of mind to argue back.

Cassie watched him stagger down the path leading to the sidewalk; thankful his house was a mere four-or-so blocks away from here. He wouldn’t have far to walk, providing he was heading home to sleep it off, but she figured he had nowhere else to go. Home was his best option, despite not being on the best of terms with his father right now.