"The harder they fight, the more it hurts when they fall," Joseph said in his booming voice as he joined them.
"Happy New Year, Uncle Joseph," Tanner said. He'd only known this man for about a year, but the guy was larger than life and Tanner couldn't imagine anyone on the whole planet who didn't instantly love him.
"Happy New Year to you, too, Tanner. I'm sure glad you decided to show your face. I was a little offended you weren't here last week," Joseph said in his gruff manner, making Tanner feel instantly like a child who was being scolded. "But you must be so glad to see the last of that apartment and those kids in the mall. At least that's what your father said would happen."
"It wasn't all bad."
"No?"
"There was someone I met who was really nice. Maybe two people. And I worry about them. But there's nothing I can do to help either of them. Not now."
Tanner didn't even realize he was going to say any of that until it popped from his mouth. Who in the hell was he? When he finished speaking, though, he was surprised to see a gleam in his father's eyes. Those couldn't possibly be tears.
"You have grown a lot this past year, son. I'm proud of you," Richard said.
"You might feel that there's nothing you can do, Tanner, but you'd be surprised by what can happen when you put your mind to it," Joseph added.
Tanner shifted uncomfortably on his feet and was relieved when the topic changed. Still, he couldn't get Kyla from his mind, or Billy, for that matter. Amid all the laughter, he felt even more alone than ever before.
Nonsense!
Pulling himself together, he managed to hold on until the countdown began for the new year. But as he looked out at his relatives, all of them with someone, all happy and in love - or at least that's the way it appeared to him - he decided he'd had enough. He wasn't going to watch others lips lock together, not when there was only one woman he wanted to kiss this New Year's Eve. And it wasn't going to happen.
It didn't matter, though, because he was happy with his life, he told himself, refusing to cave in to the depression hanging threateningly overhead.
Kyla was from his past and there was no use in turning back.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Tanner knew he'd lost his mind when he found himself parked in front of the old apartment building a week into the new year. This was the place where he'd been condemned to live for more than three weeks while donning a Santa suit and dealing with a bunch of whiny kids. Why in the world was he subjecting himself to coming back here?
Because this is where Kyla lived, and he couldn't stop thinking about her.
Two full weeks had passed since he'd left her there alone in her parents' home, and she'd looked so lost and broken. Should he have stayed? Yes, he felt like a heel for not waiting for her on the front steps. And like a worse heel for actually breaking up with her on the spot. He'd been trying to be kind, but … He snorted. Kind? Scared was more like it.
What if she'd needed him once she'd stepped outside that mausoleum of a home?
He'd just taken her at her word and left. Called a cab and rushed back to his old life. He hadn't even bothered going back to the apartment building. There was nothing there he'd needed or wanted.
Nothing but Kyla.
He was just going to check on her now. Nothing more. He'd slept with her, after all; it was the responsible thing to do to make sure she was doing well. Just because he wanted to check on her didn't mean he cared, or that he wanted to have an actual relationship.
He didn't do relationships. For the past several years, he'd found women who were interested in mutually beneficial sex. That was great - no one got feelings hurt when it was over, usually after one night in bed, maybe two.
Still, he found himself striding down the hallway of the building. As he moved toward Kyla's door, he was beginning to see the place differently. Maybe there really were some possibilities here. As much as he didn't want to think it, there was beauty in the moldings and now that the heating was working properly and the place was getting much-needed repairs, he could see some potential. He'd have to meet with his architect.
Tanner found himself in front of Kyla's door, and his hand went on autopilot. Hell, it wasn't the first time that had happened. Footsteps on the other side told him she was home.
With the chain in place, she cracked the door open. He would have to tell her that wasn't a surefire method of keeping people out. Once they had an opening, no matter how small, they could easily force their way in.
"Hello, Kyla." Hell. Was he an expert on doing lame?
She must have thought so, because she left the door chained. "What are you doing here, Tanner?"
"I missed you." Tanner didn't know which of them was more surprised by his words.