Hold On(84)

I was.

This was due to the fact that I’d called Mom to ask her to come early because we had to chat. And because I’d called Feb and Vi to tell them I needed a dress for a date with Merry at Swank’s. Since I didn’t need to be spending two hundred dollars on a dress when my ex was threatening attorneys, I needed to borrow one, so I was hitting the bar early to do some dress borrowing in the office.

And last, because I needed to have a sit-down with my boy.

“Hit mute, kid, would you?” I asked.

He looked at me, then he lifted the remote from his thigh and hit mute.

I curled my leg under me as I sat on it on the couch, turned toward him.

“What’s up, Mom?” he asked.

“Merry came to visit me today.”

I’d practiced this. I didn’t know how to begin, but I thought sharing that information and waiting to see how he’d react would guide my way.

How he reacted was how I figured he’d react with one addition I didn’t expect.

That being his very first reaction was such extreme excitement, it was a wonder he didn’t burst from the couch, propelled by its power.

Damn.

It hit him what I was saying and how Merry’s visit came to be, so his first reaction was quickly dampened by panic mixed with guilt.

“Yeah, kid, I know you sent my text along with your own,” I said quietly.

“Mom—” he whispered.

“Not good,” I cut him off to whisper back.

His face was pale but his cheeks were red, and I knew when his eyes started shining that he was close to crying.

That was not what I wanted to do to my kid, ever, so I moved things along.

“First, I’ll tell you that, with your invitation, Merry showed. We talked. Since you read my texts with him, you probably got the impression that something was goin’ on between him and me. It wasn’t, but it was. I didn’t think either of us were ready to tackle that. Today, Merry convinced me differently.”

The color came back to his face as the excitement came back to his eyes, but I had to keep going.

“We’re goin’ out on a date tomorrow. You’re stayin’ the night with Mimi and Al.”

“Cool,” Ethan said softly, clearly not sure how to play this because my tone was crisp and informative and not much else.

“I’ll tell you that I’m glad me and Merry got the chance to talk, because I like him. I like that you like him. He’s a good guy, and if things go okay, he’d be good for us. I’m a little bit scared of that, but I’m gonna give it a shot.”

“I’m glad, Mom.”

“What I don’t like,” I kept talking like he didn’t, “is my son invading my privacy.”

He leaned slightly toward me and started, “Mom—”

“No, son, listen. Don’t talk,” I said gently, but the tone was a mom tone that I didn’t pull out very often because I didn’t have to. I didn’t think I’d used it in the last year. It could even be two.

He was getting it now.

“What you need to get from this discussion is that what you did might have led to good things, but it also might have led to bad things. It might have put your mom in a super uncomfortable situation with someone who means a lot to her. You had no idea what was goin’ on. Merry and me are friends, and part of me bein’ scared about startin’ somethin’ with him is because that friendship means a lot to me. That gets messed up, it’s gonna hurt. You coulda messed that up at the get-go, not knowin’ what was happening and doing what you did.”

“But you and Merry—”

I nodded. “We talked it out. It’s all good and that’s important for you to know too so you don’t beat yourself up about it too much. But I’m tellin’ you now, you’re almost eleven. In a few years, you’re gonna have things in your life you wanna keep private. I figure then you’ll look back at this and think about me bein’ in your business and you’ll get what you did is how it is. I’m gonna give you your privacy because I trust you and I trust you to do right. But nothin’ is gonna erase the fact you invaded mine. It’s gonna sting, kid, when you look back at it. Don’t let it sting too much, but learn from it.”

He bit his lip, eyes big and again shining, and I worried he’d lose it, so I had to keep going so he wouldn’t do that.

“Now, like what happened with our neighbor when you did what I asked you not to do, this is the same. There’s a lesson to be learned, Ethan, and all I want from this is that you learn it. But this is bigger than that. See, you aren’t gettin’ your own phone until you’re at least thirteen. But you need to use my phone sometimes, and I don’t wanna be givin’ you passwords and changin’ ’em only to have to give them to you again and change them ’cause I can’t trust you. So, even though you did somethin’ untrustworthy, I still gotta trust you. Which means I gotta make sure my point is made and you get how big this is. So, sorry, kid, but for the next two weeks, you got cleaning the bathroom and mopping the kitchen floor duty and you’re not gonna get paid ten dollars when you do it.”