Hold Me Tight(9)

My emotions are all mixed up. Tim’s sheer masculinity is unsettling me, showing me what I can no longer have, what I had to give up on account of my pregnancy. I have a strong desire to close my eyes and run my fingers down his chest while pretending he’s Eric. I want him to flinch at my touch. I want to make him as uneasy as he’s making me.

My hormones are running wild. I shouldn’t be anywhere near Tim with his broad shoulders and narrow hips. My body shouldn’t be feeling what it’s feeling because in my heart I know he’s not Eric. He’ll never be Eric. Eric’s the only one I’ll ever want like that. But I can’t have him. Not until this baby’s born, and maybe not even then.

“What’s wrong, Ivy? Do you need me to call 911?” Tim comes over, reaching up to stroke my arm.

He probably doesn’t mean anything by it. He’s just concerned. But feeling his thumb lazily slide along my wrist is doing all sorts of things to me. I don’t want Tim. I know I don’t want him. But my crazy pregnancy hormones do. God, is this how Cassidy felt whenever she was around him?

I pull my arm away, and Tim lowers his eyes like I’ve wounded him somehow. Can’t he see how wrong this is? I shouldn’t be here. I feel a knot forming in the pit of my stomach. Something bad is going to happen if I stay here. Something I’ll regret. I’m craving Eric’s touch, and Tim’s too eager to give it to me.

“I have to call Eric. It’s important,” I blurt out.

Tim takes a step back at hearing Eric’s name. It was probably not the smartest move to let Tim know why I came down here, but he has to realize that I’m off-limits. My heart belongs to Eric. Let him see that I’m not interested in him. And there’s no better way of doing that than by making my intentions clear. It probably goes against his orders from Lauren to allow me to call Eric. Good. Let it drive a wedge between us. The last thing I want to do is send Tim mixed signals. Yeah, I’m tired and vulnerable and insanely horny, but I’m also faithful to Eric. What Tim’s trying to do isn’t going to work. He can grunt and groan and parade around without a shirt all he wants. I’m not biting.

“I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible,” he responds, lowering his eyes.

“And why not?” I walk down the remaining steps and head straight for my purse. “You can’t stop me from calling him, you know.”

Tim stands rooted in place as I hit Eric’s name on my speed dial.

And nothing happens.

“Wait a minute,” I say, shaking my head. Hurriedly, I begin striding around the room, holding up my phone.

“It won’t do any good,” Tim remarks, leaning back against the railing. “There’s no reception out here.”

“You’ve got to be kidding!” I cry out, slowly lowering my arm in defeat when I see that he’s right.

“I know. It sucks.” He folds his arms in front of him, but it just makes his biceps bulge even more.

Damn it. I can’t let his body distract me. I have to stay focused. “Then let me use your landline.”

“No can do, I’m afraid,” he whistles softly. “Lauren pays the bill, so she has access to the call log.”

“So that’s what it’s like to be a kept man, huh?” I taunt him, tossing my phone back in my bag. “Must be uncomfortable to know Lauren’s got you by the balls.”

“It’s not the greatest feeling in the world,” Tim replies, adjusting the waistband of his shorts, drawing my attention to the lower part of his body.

“Very funny.” I roll my eyes and drop into the folds of a comfy suede rocker. “But that doesn’t explain how I’m going to text Eric about my doctor’s appointments. Lauren agreed to that when I signed up for this.”

“Yeah, about that…” Tim hesitates, wiping his body down with the towel draped around his neck before reclining in the chair next to mine. “Lauren told me she wants to be the one who relays those messages to him, not you.”

Tim is basically telling me that Lauren doesn’t want me contacting Eric—no matter what the reason. Apparently, she doesn’t trust me to hold up my end of the deal, even if it means breaking her promise to me.

“I know what this is all about,” I laugh bitterly.

“You do?” Tim tilts his head in my direction.

“Oh yeah. It’s her way of getting back in Eric’s life.” I trace circles with my thumbs along my baby bump, reminding myself to stay calm. “He told me how she used to stalk him after Cassidy died. She’ll do anything to feed her obsession.”