I sit there for several minutes and take it all in. Eric doesn’t push me. He gives me my space. He knows that I don’t want to be alone right now, but that I’m not ready to talk about it either.
After an extended pause, I hesitantly begin. “I know I should be grateful for what she did. We lost Tim. We almost lost our baby…again.” I crinkle up my face to keep from crying. “It’s all been so awful that I won’t tolerate any more threats to our safety, Eric. And that’s what my mother is—a threat. You saw her. You know she can never stay clean. And I don’t want her around us or anywhere near our baby.”
“You don’t even want to see her before she goes?” Eric prods, not letting me off the hook. “She didn’t refuse when I asked her to come with me. She dropped everything, no questions asked. And she waited all night to get a chance to talk to you. Can’t you at least tell her thank you?”
“Thank her? Thank her for what? For finally doing her job as a mother?” I yell back at him as my monitors start to spike.
“Ivy, just relax. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Eric stands, urging me to calm down. “I shouldn’t have said anything, but after all that went on with Tim, I don’t want you to make the same mistake I did. That’s all. You never know how much time you’re going to have with a person. Sometimes talking it out can really help.”
A nurse hurries in, shaking her head at Eric as she checks my vitals. “Just lie back for me,” she says soothingly. “Take some deep breaths.”
“Is she awake?” asks a voice I wish I’d never have to hear again. “Can I go in and see her now?”
“Shut the door,” I order Eric through gritted teeth.
But it’s too late. My mother comes shuffling into the room.
“Um, ma’am,” the nurse says, trying to get her attention, “the patient can’t have more than one visitor at a time. One of you is going to have to leave.”
My eyes lock onto Eric’s, begging him not to do this.
“I’ll be right out here if you need me,” he responds, bending down to kiss my forehead.
“Don’t…” I whisper fervently.
“You’re going to regret it if you don’t speak with her,” Eric replies, staring down at me with compassion. “I know how much she’s hurt you, but just trust me on this.”
He backs away, lightly tapping my mother on the shoulder as he exits the room.
After the nurse leaves, we observe each other from a distance. She’s wringing her hands, unable to keep still. She’s as fidgety as ever, probably strung out from going so long without a fix. I know the signs well enough to realize that she’ll never change—because she doesn’t want to.
“What are you doing here?” I ask coldly.
“Ivy, it’s been so long,” she cries, approaching the bed.
All it took was one word from me to set her in motion. I could scold her, curse her, mock her, and she’d still act like everything’s okay. Nothing ever gets through to her. She never respects what I want. She’s all about indulging her own needs.
“Don’t touch me,” I say, recoiling from her. “It’s too late for that.”
“It’s never too late,” she replies, taking Eric’s seat beside the bed. “Especially now that I know that you’re carrying my grandchild.”
“Don’t even think about it,” I warn her, propping myself up. “Because you’re not going to be a part of its life.”
“Oh, come now, Ivy,” she murmurs, scooting closer. “You don’t mean that. You’re just upset. I intend on spoiling that grandbaby of mine like nobody’s business.”
“Spoil it?” I fire back. “You don’t know the meaning of the word.”
“Yeah, I know times were tough when you were growing up, but things are different now,” she replies, her eyes taking on a faraway look. “You’ve got a nice, strong man to depend on—something I never had.”
“You stay away from Eric. Do you hear me?” I rage on, afraid of what she’s already said to him. “He may feel sorry for you, but I don’t.”
“Ivy, why are you being so cruel to me, huh?” she questions, acting like I’m trying to hurt her feelings. “I’m only here to help you.”
“More like help yourself,” I retort bitterly. “Don’t think you’re going to pawn any handouts off the Youngs. They’re good people who don’t deserve to be swindled by the likes of you.”
“If they’re so good, then why were you involved in a shootout in their son’s home?” she asks, her eyes gleaming. “I may live in the projects, but no one ever got shot under my roof.”